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Chapter 1: What is discussed at the start of this section?
Hey, this is Red Band, and you're listening to Kill Tony here at DeathSquad.tv. Please check us out on iTunes and Stitcher and subscribe to us. Don't forget to rate and review our show also. And if you want to help Death Squad out, there's only one thing that pays for everything we do here, and that's the kitty cat t-shirt at ShopSquad.tv.
This limited edition t-shirt, everything we do here needs to be paid for. And this is the only way that we make money. So please, help us out. Go to ShopSquad.tv, buy a t-shirt. And if you want to see one of our live shows, DeathSquad.tv has a list of them all, including September 26th, me and Tony Hinchcliffe will be at Stand Up Live in Phoenix, Arizona.
Followed by the following day, which is a Friday, we'll be in Columbus, Ohio at the Woodlands Backyard. This is a Death Squad super show. We are going to be joined by Tom Segura, and Christina Pijitski with me and Tony. And then in October, we have the L.A. PodFest. That is October 4th through October 6th in Santa Monica, California.
It's pretty much a hotel where everyone just goes and stays, and there's live podcasts from people like Mark Maron, Doug Benson, and Death Squad's going to be there. We're going to have a live podcast and a live Pointless podcast. So come check us out. Go to lapodfest.com. or the easiest thing is just go to DeathSquad.tv for all the links. And now, here's a brand new episode of Kill Tony.
Hey, this is Ray Brant coming to you live from the Comedy Store for a brand new episode of Kill Tony. Give it up for Tony Hinchcliffe.
Fuck yeah, everybody. Here we are again. Welcome, everyone. There's a live crowd out there, everybody. How you guys doing tonight? All right, how exciting. Another fun weekend down the drain. Yep.
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Chapter 2: What are the details about upcoming live shows?
What is this, 14th? Something like that. 13 or 14. 13 or 14 Mondays in a row. Yeah. Well, yeah. I've been doing it, though, for like 50. Wow. Sucks. I'm done with Mondays. Mondays are the worst because I have a podcast I do for three hours right when I wake up. So like last night, we had a great time at the burn. The roast. The roast of James Franco. Yeah. And we all got pretty wasted.
I had to wake up. Grab Starbucks, run right to a three-hour podcast, come here. I had a movie audition today. I had my first real, like, legitimate movie audition today for the first time ever. And I got this audition the day after the biggest roast that I've written for. I write for the roast. But that's how life works. That's Hollywood and life. What a great party, too, man.
First movie audition ever. It wasn't great. It didn't go great. It didn't go bad, but it didn't go great. What it said in the thing was that I had something, something, I had a part, but then there was like another part that I didn't know, that it didn't say that. It's a whole thing. Crazy part is, is in the waiting room, I'm sitting there.
Actually, as soon as I walk in, there's only one other guy in the room sitting there for the part. And it's Jesse Pinkman's friend, not Badger, but the other one, Skinny Pete. You guys know who I'm talking about? The guy that's always hanging out with badger and breaking bad. If you watch the show at all. Nope. Great show.
Um, anyway, so I had an interesting talk with him and he was telling me that he actually just moved to Los Angeles and he was based in Texas, that he was a day player, like doing extra work, booking little tiny things out of Texas. This one show's taping there. He books that. It was just for a non-speaking role. And then next thing you know, he's on fucking Breaking Bad.
He just moved to LA, this guy. He goes, now I'm in LA. We're talking about, and I'm laughing like, oh my God, you're going to be able to do anything. And his response, or my response at the end was basically like, I'm fucking moving to Texas. You don't know what you're getting yourself into, man.
anyway it was interesting it was a break and then I you know that's extra pressure too that's like the only show I watch on TV all of a sudden I'm auditioning against the only thing that I really respect so that was fucked up hello it's a live podcast everybody the Iron Patriot is here everyone the head of security everybody's favorite I got something I want to ask you Tony sure
Today I read an article that James Franco's 92-year-old grandmother came to the roast, and Jeff Ross said a joke saying that she's going to die in 127 hours in reference to his movie of the same name. Now, were you responsible for that joke, Tony?
That's an interesting question, Patriot. No, I was not.
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Chapter 3: What insights are shared about the roast of James Franco?
You know you're my favorite.
I don't think I am. You just said you got the suit to talk to Joe Rogan eventually.
Let me make an issue with you. Let me make an issue with you. When you were on the Joe Rogan experience, you didn't talk anything about Kill Tony. You didn't even mention me. I thought there'd be like 10 minutes. Of course.
Why would I do that when I could talk about philosophy? That's your fucking dream. That's what I was doing. We were talking about planets and shit.
Yeah, it was great. I mean, it was good. I'm just saying I showed you how to do it in that interview this week.
What? What the fuck is going on? Is this serious?
Is this all real or is this a... No, this is what I'm trying to tell you. Listen to what I'm saying. There were a lot of people watching that Joe Rogan experience that don't know about Kill Tony. And I know Joe doesn't like to plug shit. But it seems like there's a lot of people that if you would have shown a video or something or showed...
To get him interested, we could have got a lot of new... And we're doing fine.
I'm just saying, you know... Yeah, we're doing fine. And we'll get on it again because it was an interesting... Yeah. Yeah.
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Chapter 4: What is the significance of the Iron Patriot's character?
His Twitter handle is at JoshMartinComic if you have any ideas on what you might do. Let me real quick, just a thing with the Iron Patriot, Comedy Patriot. Can you put your hand up on your forehead like a salute? Can you reach that? God damn, you're like a bodybuilder. You're like the rock. He can't scratch his own forehead.
It's all the steroids I've been doing.
All right. Well, because if he could do that, I thought that'd be like a fun way to like whenever he likes a set, give them the salute.
Can you try it again? Can you do a thumbs up?
could you do a thumbs up like I just asked there you go do that only the ones you like and you can be as harsh about it as you want I will remember picking up the marshmallows though and then like the first couple bowls of the box would have like so much marshmallows in your bowl then that last bowl there was like one or two marshmallows yeah the grainy ones they would sink to the bottom yeah it was a bummer I like the lucky charms me too your next comedian's name is Jem everybody it's Jem
G-E-M.
Hi. My name is Jim. That's G-E-M. I recently was evicted. Got me thinking about when I was living in England. That's where I had the longest permanent residence of 48 months. Mostly because even in England, they don't evict you from prison. I've been watching a lot of the orange and black recently. Also known as the Los Angeles bus system.
I haven't been going up because I've been dealing with the eviction for the last two weeks, so I'm a little rusty at this. I mean, not rusty like if I penetrate you, I'm going to give you tetanus. Chlamydia, yes, but just because the antibiotics didn't take. So what I'm saying I want to get over is 248-952-7290 is my number if you need some medical cannabis. Please feel free to call me.
248-952-7290. That's G-E-M. Thank you very much.
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Chapter 5: What happens if a comedian doesn't show up?
Uh-oh. You know what happens if a comedian doesn't show up? They get blacklisted. What? Holy crap. We really got this thing worked out. That was... That's the best reaction ever. He knocked over your whole class.
Chapter 6: Why is blacklisting significant in comedy?
That's all it is is he makes a bunch of sounds and the person doesn't get to do the show again. That was intense blacklisting. I thought you had a clipboard and a piece of paper, and you'd cross his name out, but fucking Comedy Patriot just shot that guy down. I mean, that is the name of a famous comedian, Shecky Green, so we should have seen that coming. There's somebody playing around.
Oh, how dare they. Yeah, comedians with their sense of humor. I bet that guy's one of the funniest ones. Or it was the real Shecky Green, like, changed his mind when he saw what was really happening. That'd be crazy. You wanted to reach out to the young people with one minute of new humor and then saw what happened to everybody else. I know this guy.
Chapter 7: What are the challenges of performing comedy?
This guy's a funny comedian out of Boston. I do believe he's done the show before. His name is Matt Devlin, everybody. Sorry if I was a pain in the dick earlier, Tony, about getting on him. Anxious. All right, you can start your timer. They already did. If Bill Hicks killed Billy Ray Cyrus when he wanted to, I'd have had nothing to jerk off to this morning. Except for the Yosemite fire.
Which I've been jerking off to since I started it. And that's the last time I ever get to tell that joke.
Thank you very much.
Yeah, I don't even know if it's worth it to give notes on such dated material or material that's going to die soon, but that's good stuff. Yeah, and I also liked hearing you say the word started because it reminded me that you're from Boston, the way you said it. But two funny jokes. Yeah, definitely. That's interesting, topical, fun. I mean, it's not really that topical, though.
I mean, you can always replace a tragedy with, that type of, the way that you say those things, that works for you, you know, and you believe in it. That's why you're saying it. So you can always just slide in the new thing. I mean, that happened today. Yeah, just say it about some new things. Like when other things happen, go up and say something about that. And do a new forest fire.
That's Tony's advice. Well, there's always something terrible happening. Yeah, yeah. Just put a new terrible thing in there.
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Chapter 8: How can comedians improve their connection with the audience?
Hey, Miley Cyrus, avalanche in Norway. Well, the way he says it, I believe that I can almost picture him jerking off to something evil. I see what you mean. The jerking off part. I get you now. Now, that does make sense that you could jerk off to any horrible event. Let's keep our fingers crossed that something happened. I'm sure it will, Doug. I'm sure it will. Oh, my God.
Can you imagine, like, oh, Sandy Hook, you know, that kind of thing? That was a beauty. All right. I got that one on TiVo. Man, so you're ready to go super dark. Totally. You're not afraid. Straight up. All right, dude.
Thank you for your time.
Good luck with that. Good job.
Awesome.
Yeah, that's great. Unbelievable, right? Yeah.
You're so good.
I thought I was going to offend everyone when I said that. He just ran with it.
Oh, yeah.
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