Marcus In The Morning "ON DEMAND"

Congrats, it's an XBOX!

01 Apr 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Video games in the delivery room... red flag? Plus, April Fool's stupidity, and this Grandma says you better get drunk at her funeral but do NOT let B...

The Worst Drivers In History

31 Mar 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Are drivers even bigger jerks now? Possibly, but maybe they have always been jerks. Plus, Marcus' Dad casually cussing, and Sandy bring back compassio...

My Dream Cosplay Wedding

30 Mar 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Marcus and Sandy are planning their cosplay wedding. You really want that in your wedding album forever? Plus, the terrible lies men tell, and throupl...

14 Years In Terminal 2

29 Mar 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Airports are kinda magical...but would you want to live there for 14 years just so you could drink and smoke? Plus, Sandy reviews all her worst online...

Beam Me Up Sandy

28 Mar 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Will Smith, or Sandy attending UFO Con... which is the bigger story??? Plus, how cursing loudly can help ease the pain, literally.

Scammin!

23 Mar 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Marcus loves messing with the scammers and he has finally found his people. Plus, how to live with a messy person when you are an absolute clean freak...

Spiders > Snakes

22 Mar 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Sandy is super scared of spiders, but snakes are OK? Plus, guy says work is "unnatural", so he ain't doing it. Travels world on a bike instead. I hate...

Just Trying To Avoid My Family

21 Mar 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Why is Sandy's neighbor always, always in his car?? It's unsettling. Plus, girl scout cookie business savage, and who has the worst traffic in the Bay...

Grease For A Hangover

18 Mar 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Here's what not to do after a night of drinking. Wait, I do all of these. Plus, could no-habitation help your relationship?

A Rasher of Bacon

17 Mar 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Happy St. Patrick's Day! Sandy totally forgot, and Marcus will be eating an Irish breakfast in a few hours which honestly just sounds like, a lot. Plu...

The Stolen Bottle Fiasco Ends

16 Mar 2022

Contributed by Lukas

The great $4K bottle of stolen alcohol has been recovered in San Jose! Plus, Sandy's absolutely terrible Saturday, and everyone is ready for permanent...

Cruise Ship Super Mario

15 Mar 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Could you live on a cruise ship for 20 years? With that food? Plus, do women really do more housework than men?

I know we haven't talk in years, but I need a job...

14 Mar 2022

Contributed by Lukas

How do you reach out to someone you haven't spoke to in years if you need a favor? Plus, Monday after Spring Forward... wellness check?

"Can You Believe How Insensitive He Is?"

11 Mar 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Pro tips on how to lie your way out of that text message you accidently sent to the wrong person. Plus, how long can you hold it just to avoid using a...

Bored of Meal Prep

10 Mar 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Meal prepping can be great but man o man is it boring. Plus, Marcus has been embracing "girly" things his entire life, and Jason has a moral dilemma i...

Group Text Nightmares

09 Mar 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Does anyone actually enjoy the stress of group texting? Plus, how to make friends as a grown up, and couple married for 30 years with 7 kids, but have...

Marcus' Movie Fight

08 Mar 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Marcus just couldn't help himself yesterday. He HAD to confront an annoying guy at the movie theater. So, how badly did this end? Plus, another time c...

Weekend On The Mountain

07 Mar 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Marcus is back from the big ski trip... but it involved a trip to the ER? Plus, these gas prices at hitting like 7 bucks? ...and even one drink a day ...

One Pushup Per Day

04 Mar 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Marcus is headed off to his first ski trip in 18 years, and he is not prepared at all. Embarrassment incoming. Plus, I really didn't have to know all ...

Everything But The Regift

03 Mar 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Marcus just regifted something to Sandy... that SHE gave him. Awkward or nah? Plus, you are doing this parenting thing all wrong.

You Made It Gross

02 Mar 2022

Contributed by Lukas

What do you refuse to share with you partner? Marcus & Jason's wives don't want them touching their bathroom supplies. Plus, it's that easy for a 9 ye...

98 Weeks Late

01 Mar 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Someone "liked" a photo of Marcus' that is 98 weeks old. Flattering or creepy? Plus, girl scout cookie drama out there in the streets.

No Phone, No Problem

28 Feb 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Sandy went phone free all weekend long, and loved it! Plus, upgrading your seat and leaving your wife behind... is that ever wise?

"Ideation" ... Is? What?

25 Feb 2022

Contributed by Lukas

What's the workplace jargon that drives you NUTS? Plus, Marcus is collecting horror stories of kids with phones/social media so he can sleep even less...

I Can Beat Bobby Flay

24 Feb 2022

Contributed by Lukas

A ton of people think they are such good cooks they could hang with the best on TV. Well, OK... Plus, could you be off social media for 6 years? What ...

Looking Forward To Canceling On You

23 Feb 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Most people want nothing to do with... doing things. Plus, pro tips for breaking up with your friend and Hank the Tank: friend or foe?

Christmas On Valentine's?

22 Feb 2022

Contributed by Lukas

I think it's almost illegal to still have your Christmas tree up right now. Plus, no one in the Bay Area is prepared for cold weather, and Sandy brave...

Don't Ski Together

18 Feb 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Marcus is really understanding this odd piece of marriage advice. Plus, how bad do you want paid time off? Faking a pregnancy is a good option!

I Want to Sleep, But Not That Bad

17 Feb 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Sleep hacks ranked, but I'm not doing THAT on a weekend... no way. Plus, toxic relationship for Valentine's or nah? ...and this new Uber feature is ho...

Swindled For Real?

16 Feb 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Is this Tinder Swindler even real? Sandy understands how it could happen though... because it's happened to her. Plus, the danger of changing seats on...

Valentine's Copy/Paste/Done

15 Feb 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Guys put a little more effort into Valentine's Day than copy and pasting the same message to five different women. Plus, Marcus needs to start trainin...

That Halftime Show Was For Us!

14 Feb 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Can we talk about that halftime show? That was OUR music! Plus, Sandy is basically a pro athlete now, but she almost didn't make it back from Tahoe th...

Tinder Is Blind

11 Feb 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Sorry, but pics matter... for us at least. Plus, big game Saturday? ...and it's finally Friday but did it feel like it took 17 days to get here?

"You're Calling Me!"

10 Feb 2022

Contributed by Lukas

If you are texting, you are texting... don't call me. Plus, don't pour a beer on the head of a Muay Thai boxing champion... it won't end well.

V Day Is So Over

09 Feb 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Valentine's Day? I'm over it! ...and so is everyone else? Plus, I really want to be like Amy and quit my job.

I Only Have 3 Seconds

08 Feb 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Last week it was 10 minutes a week, now all I need is 3 seconds of exercise? Sweet. Plus, love is in the air, and we are talking about your proposal s...

The Grossest Word Is...

07 Feb 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Sandy "rages" over the weekend, but it required preparation like an Olympic athlete. Plus, the grossest, ickiest words, and men lingerie for the win o...

V Day Grey Zone

04 Feb 2022

Contributed by Lukas

How to handle the big V Day if you are in a brand new relationship. Plus, is Sandy wrong for thinking babies are not cute?

We Need to Take a Break

03 Feb 2022

Contributed by Lukas

What's the way to break up... with a friend? We have some "therapist approved" messages you can send them, but wow some of these are savage. Plus, the...

He Doesn't Know It, But We Broke Up

02 Feb 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Sandy has gone through a big relationship, and a big break up recently... the guy didn't know it though. Plus, all those big words Marcus has been usi...

10 Minutes Is All I Got

01 Feb 2022

Contributed by Lukas

10 minutes and you too can be a zaddy. Plus, Marcus gets roasted by Los Angeles, and too big for Space X?

Embarrassing Bet Heartbreak

31 Jan 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Marcus is about to strip down again. Plus, a teenager bests Elon Musk, and Sandy tells the dudes what not to get their lady for Valentine's Day.

Lace Undies FTW?

31 Jan 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Marcus gets roped into a lacy bet, and Sandy feels the pain of a woman with black nail polish.

Marcus Can't Ski

26 Jan 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Marcus is freaked out about this upcoming ski trip. He says he was decent at skiing... the one time he went 20 years ago! Plus, Sandy's got tips on wh...

Watch Out When Marcus Is Mad!

21 Jan 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Marcus felt the need to call someone out in public yesterday who was being rude... and of course it went sideways. Plus, through all the headaches and...

Find This Married Man

20 Jan 2022

Contributed by Lukas

A woman goes viral for a hilarious reason after trying to find her dream man. Plus, didn't we leave awkward Zoom happy hours back in 2020?

Rudest. People. Ever.

19 Jan 2022

Contributed by Lukas

What do airlines passengers do that drives Sandy NUTS!? Plus, your most savage shortest trip ever stories, and Marcus is still figuring out what to do...

Quick Trip to Hawaii ... NBD

18 Jan 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Marcus chilled and got a haircut over the three day weekend, Sandy went to Hawaii!? Showoff! Plus, Marcus claims that he "accidently" broke his Dry Ja...

My Friend List Is Full

14 Jan 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Making friends as an adult is hard! Now science is validating what Marcus has thought for a long time. Plus, Sandy made a bone headed, dangerous mista...

Sleeping In Your Clothes Isn't That Bad?

13 Jan 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Marcus feel vindicated after science answers the question of whether sleeping your clothes is gross or not. Plus, how to deal with your friend that ne...

Maybe You Really SHOULD Be Drinking

12 Jan 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Marcus is not having a great dry January. He should probably just quit. Plus, Sandy returns to the gym and it sucked, and how you use your phone revea...

5.6 Million Problems

11 Jan 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Winning the lottery can be stressful! Just think about all those cousins you never knew you had and all the family vacations for other people you need...

January Munchies

05 Jan 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Marcus is 5 days into Dry January and he already has a major problem. Plus, Sandy expecting? ...and Mom gets a billboard for her single daughter for a...

Cure For The Post Holiday Blues

04 Jan 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Feeling down in the dumps cause Christmas is over? We've got the pro tips to get over the blues! Sort of. Plus, Sandy loves dining alone but her one r...

Stuck In The Storm

03 Jan 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Sandy left California and discovered winter! The problem was, she almost didn't make it back alive. Plus, Marcus stops drinking, and no one can stay u...

Lost In Transit

17 Dec 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Sandy needs her parents Christmas gift to arrive in the mail tomorrow, and she's willing to do illegal things to get it! Plus, how to survive your in-...

$1200 Worth Of Gelato Please

16 Dec 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Is this five year old a genius, or nah? Plus, the Bay Area just can not deal with the cold.

Present Count

14 Dec 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Marcus' daughter is all about the Christmas presents this year. She's keeping track and she means business. Plus, how many of us have really given up ...

Martha's Tips For Success

07 Dec 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Martha Stewart has some pro tips for holiday party success... gee she's just like us! Pfft. Also, Sandy wastes money on a terrible Cameo video... or d...

Well, That Was Embarrassing...

03 Dec 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Most embarrassing way you've embarrassed yourself? We've got stories about water bottle and wine bottles doing serious damage. Plus, the thing people ...

A Very Extra Christmas

02 Dec 2021

Contributed by Lukas

How many gifts are too many gifts...for a 2 year old? Plus, Marcus' father tries CBD gummies for the first time.

The Worst Christmas Present Hiding Spot

01 Dec 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Parents: Your kids know where you are hiding all the Christmas presents. Plus, how to get out of that terrible conversation with a stranger.

Mariah Makin' Me Stressed Out

30 Nov 2021

Contributed by Lukas

What Christmas song stresses you the hell out? Plus, Jason wants to break the Christmas present rules, and Sandy is screwing up her work week by doing...

90 Day Famous

29 Nov 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Sandy was emotional on TV last night, plus her father did something over the weekend that wasn't even appropriate for the buffet. Also, the one thing ...

I Can't Even Get Alcohol For $60!!

19 Nov 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Someone claims that a group of 10 people on Thanksgiving should be eating for less than $60? Really? Marcus spends more than that on just alcohol. ......

I Need A Drink

17 Nov 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Is it even possible to get through the holidays without drinking? Plus, Sandy makes contact with a ghost, and Chrissy Teigen at it again?

The B Seat

16 Nov 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Sandy got stuck in the B seat twice!? Plus, we apparently think we should be "showered" in gifts, and the best person to get us those gifts? Ourselves...

Thanksgiving Is Over... Please Leave

12 Nov 2021

Contributed by Lukas

The important thing after the Thanksgiving dinner is getting people the hell out of your house. We've got the pro tips! Plus, Marcus says he knows how...

Cheese Enchiladas On A First Date

11 Nov 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Dairy on a first date... good idea or bad idea? Sandy thinks she might stay single forever. Plus, run through your crowded office naked, or reveal you...

The Bug Man Calling

10 Nov 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Was Sandy getting hit on by the exterminator? Plus, Christmas trees before Thanksgiving, and how key are leftovers, really?

Home Depot Sandy

09 Nov 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Sandy is ready to start her career as a contractor. Plus, Jason considers canceling Christmas for this children, and how much less a wedding costs the...

Standard Darkness & Depression

08 Nov 2021

Contributed by Lukas

This time change is really hitting some of the members of the morning show hard. Plus, Marcus wants to royally screw over his wife this holiday season...

Krampus Is Coming

05 Nov 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Is a scary demon who terrorizes children a good Christmas decoration? Plus, is Sandy being flirted with or not?

Thanksgiving Crabby

04 Nov 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Marcus is still out here promoting the non traditional Thanksgiving meals and apparently everyone agrees with him. Plus, GoFundMe for dental work? ......

"Prepare" For Fall Back? Pfft...

03 Nov 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Why do we have to prepare to get an extra hour of sleep? Lame. Also, the perfect temperature for the office seems too hot to do anything except nap, a...

Yea, That's Great For My Health But Screw That!

02 Nov 2021

Contributed by Lukas

I'm taking a burning hot shower every morning whether it's healthy or not. Plus, Jason doubts his parenting skills, and everyone except Marcus wants t...

Cheapin Out On Halloween

01 Nov 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Sandy is upset she thinks her Dad cheaped out on Halloween. Marcus' Halloween was like a Chico frat party, and why are airplane announcements so corny...

Halloween Candy = Gainz

29 Oct 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Halloween candy is now a key part of your fitness routine. You're welcome! Plus, more Bay Area ghost stories, and deleting your social media can help ...

The Haunting Of Vallejo

28 Oct 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Most haunted places in the Bay? What about LIVING with two ghosts? NOPE! Plus, the joys of living in an airport for 3 months.

Full Size Bars For The Win!

26 Oct 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Sandy's father continues to buy 40 full size candy bars for Halloween even though they had not had trick or treaters in years. Plus, Jason's in-laws r...

Sandy Touched By A Ghost

25 Oct 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Sandy finally had the paranormal experience she's been dreaming of! Plus, bomb cyclone 2021, and Dad's don't dare leave the house without looking 100%...

Sandy The Sugar Mama?

21 Oct 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Could Sandy do it? Would YOU? For 15K a month... uhh, yea. Plus, horror movies ruining our lives for 50 years, and how to deal with your insane neighb...

In Law Next Door

20 Oct 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Producer Jason's in-laws want to move next door... good idea or nah? Plus, a father wants to scare the crap out of his kids because, why?

"What's Your Favorite Scary Movie?"

19 Oct 2021

Contributed by Lukas

What's the movie you refuse to watch cause it's way too scary? ...and why is producer Jason way too into this stuff? Plus, 100 snakes in a Sonoma Coun...

It's Not Me, It's My DNA

18 Oct 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Guys, great news! You have another excuse for not losing weight! Plus, Sandy has a scary time in Hollywood, but it's not because she met a ghost.

13 For The Win

15 Oct 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Here's a "sure fire" hack to have the entire row on an airplane all to yourself. Plus, Marcus misses human contact, everyone apparently loves work mee...

70 Year Old's Road Trip

14 Oct 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Road tripping to recapture energy from 40 years ago... good idea or nah? Plus, a wedding ruined by Southwest, and HAPPY BIRTHDAY MARCUS!

Bad For My Teeth and I Love It

13 Oct 2021

Contributed by Lukas

The Halloween candy that will totally wreck your teeth this year. Plus, how to broadcast yourself in the shower on IG Live, and what our old high scho...

Undies: To Wash, Or Not To Wash

12 Oct 2021

Contributed by Lukas

How high is the danger in brand new underwear? Plus, do you number 2 in front of your partner?

Tawdry Wedding Hashtags

08 Oct 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Wedding hashtags... cool or nah? Wait, what's a hashtag again? Plus, Sandy trying to gear up for a ghost hunter adventure, and Marcus ditches his dad ...

Too Scared To Be A Ghost Hunter

07 Oct 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Sandy wants to be a paranormal researcher so bad! One problem: she's way too scared. Plus, what the heck how are candy corn and twizzlers on this list...

Buying The Exorcist House Ain't So Bad

06 Oct 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Would you buy a house if you knew an exorcism took place inside? What if it was a great price? Plus, Marcus is so very excited about his holiday trave...

Guess This Means I Have To Work Now...

05 Oct 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Facebook and Instagram down? Guess I have to actually do some work. Plus, Marcus' food pics are making him fat?

I Don't Have The Life Skills For Life

30 Sep 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Many teens don't know how to make the bed or do laundry... but does Sandy? Plus, Marcus teaches his Dad about BDSM?

All This Free Time Is Bad For My Health

29 Sep 2021

Contributed by Lukas

If you have more than this much free time, you are probably incredibly unhappy. WTF? Plus, go big for Halloween or go home.

Sandy In An Open Marriage?

28 Sep 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Could she do it? Plus, the very first PSL, and how to be a YouTube star.

Big Feet - More Likely To Cheat!

27 Sep 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Ladies, if your man wears a size 10, better watch out! Plus, Sandy partied it up in Palm Springs this past weekend, and Marcus cleans up nice.

Serial Killers For Halloween

24 Sep 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Producer Jason once again wants to dress up his kids like murderers. Cute, or too creepy? Plus, pro tips on how (not) to break up with your stylist.

My Baby Is Going To Be A Libra!??

23 Sep 2021

Contributed by Lukas

People are planning the conception of their baby around Zodiac signs and honestly we have never heard anything more stupid. Plus, don't ever comment o...

I'm Not Depressed I'm Just Bored!!!

22 Sep 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Apple wants to creep on us even more and quite frankly I'm not comfortable with them knowing how bored I am everyday lying on my couch in the dark. Pl...