Chapter 1: What unusual work problems are discussed in this episode?
Hey, everyone. It's Adam Grant. I host a podcast called Rethinking about the science of what makes us tick. This season, we're talking to philosopher and author Alain de Botton about how to build character and lead meaningful lives.
If you're going to be an elitist, please could you be an elitist about the really important things, you know, which is, is someone kind? Is someone nice? Is their soul open? Are they thoughtful? And maybe we can afford to pass judgment, as it were, on where people are according to this scale of values.
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You strike me as the kind of person who loves to give advice or maybe has some hot takes. Um, you've guessed correctly. I'm definitely, I got the opinions, I got the hot takes, and, you know, I love to gossip, so... Hey everyone, I'm Rima Grace and welcome to This is Uncomfortable.
We've been asking y'all for your questions about sticky situations at work to leave us voice messages on our hotline at 347-RING-TIU. And this week we are answering some of them as part of a segment we like to call Work Drama. We got some pretty wild questions about workplace tension, co-worker cliques, bosses behaving badly, and some bizarre office policies.
And joining me to help answer those questions is one of my favorite culture writers and podcasters, Sarah Hagee. Sarah tells the stories of some notoriously bad bosses on Scamfluencers, which is a podcast about scams that she co-hosts with journalist Sachi Cole. Hey, Sarah. Hey, how are you? I am good. How are you doing? I'm great. Okay, so before we get into the questions, I'm really curious.
What are the common signs that your boss might be a scammer? Okay, if your boss is the only one who's allowed to see certain information and is cagey about sharing information that should be known by people, they're a scammer. If they are... Pushing boundaries and putting you in situations where you feel like you can't say no for either, you know, doing some type of work that feels weird or off.
I would say that's definitely scammer territory. If they're suddenly living a lavish life, that doesn't really make sense for how much money they're getting paid. They're like pulling up in a BMW and... If there are questions that cannot be answered about their lifestyle or relationships they have at work and that type of thing, it's usually scam territory, I'd say. Yeah, that makes sense.
And of course, not every scam is as dramatic as embezzling funds. Sometimes you're just being taken advantage of. Which brings us to our very first question, read to us by our producer, Alice Wilder. Hey, Alice.
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Chapter 2: How can you identify if your boss is a scammer?
My onboarding documents specifically say that the company doesn't, quote, do raises and prefers to do occasional bonuses. It also says not to discuss pay with colleagues, which I know is illegal. Everyone I speak with complains, but only one out of the six people I've spoken to is interested in a collective message to management. There's 30 total staff.
I work remotely, and I don't think I can organize everyone to my side. As a reformed job hopper, I'm okay to stay for two years until it's more acceptable to leave. Should I push back alone? Signed, ready for a raise.
What do you think, Sarah? I that is so tough because it's such to me that sounds like a scam like don't do raises what excuse me let me guess who is getting a raise uh your boss oh definitely they're getting the law firm um and that's why I would also say that explicitly I think to not talk to your not talk about pay with your co-workers
Yeah, I mean, considering that is illegal, that's really crazy to have that in writing. But I do think a lot of workplaces get away with giving people little perks instead of actually giving them what they want, which is ridiculous. real money.
And it sounds like a bonus system is more like tied to being competitive and less to do with like doing good work, which is why also they don't want people to discuss pay, I'm guessing. And it sounds really rough, especially when your co-workers don't want to rock the boat, so to speak. So in my mind, I kind of see it as I don't think it's something that could happen instantly.
I don't think it's something that you can just mobilize people. I think it's something that just would probably take a while to get people on the page of realizing, like, you know, we all could talk about this together and figure out a way to discuss how this isn't really fair. Because to be clear, the National Labor Relations Act protects workers. the right for most people to share their wages.
So they could file a complaint. But I think you're right. It sounds like this person is drawn to organizing, so maybe trust that instinct. And they could have more casual conversations probably with people in the office. And it sounds like based on this question that she was like, I'm a reformed job hopper, so I'm okay to stay for two years. What do you think about that?
Like people who feel like they need to stay at a workplace?
Yeah.
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Chapter 3: What should you do if your coworker is profiting off your reputation?
All right, here's our final question. This one's wild. I mean, they're all wild, but how do I tell my coworker who I see three times a week that she cannot have a copy of my house key? We're work friends, but not friend friends. She's going through a breakup and wants to stay with me while she moves out of the home she shared with her boyfriend.
She doesn't have a lot of friends and I feel for her, but also I do not want to give her a key to my place. Signed, not your roommate.
Oh, wow. What's your first thought? My first thought is you have to be firm in this. Like there's no way to sugarcoat it. Also, this is confusing. What do you mean? Like someone wants a copy of your house key? I guess she wants a house key to be like, yeah, I'm going to stay at your place for a bit while I'm breaking up. And obviously I'll need a key. Give me your key.
That is how you get a squatter. Truly. I'm curious if you've been in that situation. I kind of have in the past, but, um, and it's not, it's not fun.
Wait, sorry, but you had a coworker ask for a house.
No. Okay. To be clear, not a coworker, not a squatter. I know that it was a friend of a friend and they just like stayed at our place for a really long time. And it became an issue. I was like, I thought y'all, I thought you were going to stay just for like two days. Like, why has it been like two months? Yeah. I mean, that's the thing.
If I'm really close to someone and maybe we haven't had a ton of experiences where there's conflict or something's going on with them or they're in distress. I mean, that's kind of the moment where you're setting the rules and like what you kind of accept with all your friends or like anyone. It's like this is just how I am. This is how I operate. It's not personal. Yeah. Exactly.
It's like a time to be like, listen, I just I don't really do that. Like I don't do the key thing. I think it's just like it might get really messy. I could help you if you in other ways. But it's just like to me, it's like a hard no. And if if you give in at all, it's over. It's over. Yeah. I also think this is an example of how easily your friends and co-worker lines can get blurred.
I don't know if you've been in this position where, like, I've had to remind myself in the past, like, oh, yeah, they are my friend, but they're also kind of my co-worker first. She's talking about me right now.
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Chapter 4: How can you negotiate for a raise in a company that doesn't offer them?
This episode was produced by me, Alice Wilder, with additional producing by Flora Warshaw. Zoe Saunders is our senior producer. Audio engineering by Drew Jostad. Bridget Bodner is Marketplace's director of podcasts. Marketplace's chief content officer is Joanne Griffith. Neil Scarborough is vice president and general manager of Marketplace.
All right, we'll catch you all next week.
Are you desperately hoping for change in 2026, but feeling stuck? I'm Dr. Laurie Santos, and in a new year series of my show, The Happiness Lab, I'm going to look at the science of getting, well, unstuck. Unstuck at work, unstuck in your relationships, and even unstuck inside your mind.
I am the absolute worst culprit when it comes to getting into these ruminative loops and just driving myself crazy.
So join me to get unstuck and moving happily forward in 2026. Listen to The Happiness Lab wherever you get your podcasts.
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