Ep 590 - Wildcat
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What is discussed at the start of this section?
wow wow wes oh no they don't even tell me i was that king it was not on the kingdom coaster it offers gentle thrills with smooth turns and small hair time what are you talking about look at the size of the cat no the uh The cat, I think, is, let me see.
Brother, just feast your eyes.
I see it. That thing's fucking nasty as hell.
Look at the size of the cat.
So you know what the beast does? The beast versus the wildcat. The wildcat is fucking newer, dude. It's the longest, too. It's kind of capped. the beast dude beast is longer the wildcat here's your part yeah wild the wildcat is like higher i think it has of course it is it's huge it's so scary dang dude bro a classic figure eight design which often focuses on the class okay my wildcat's just an out and back classic so the force the forces on the wildcat are rougher you want to if you ride the beast you want to claim the largest wooden roller coaster in the world it's like you know what i mean when was the beast constructed i don't know but my thing is it's not as uh rough and tumble as the wildcat so the beast is like a longer ride which gives it the biggest quote-unquote wooden roller coaster in the world but we're talking g-forces here so damn
probably built a long time ago it was fucking 1979 79 it's the biggest there's nothing i can say don't know no no i was wrong there's nothing i can don't get down on hershey dude hershey is it's still hershey has a scarier wooden roller coaster that's probably higher i'm telling you i busted my fucking lip on the wildcat and this guy's gonna wear an i survived hershey shirts You're going to steal Valley like that? How'd you bust your lip on the wildcat? The fucking thing comes to a screeching halt.
I smacked my face.
It was nothing to me, dude.
Spent the rest of the day bloodied up. What would you rather do if you're at a Dorney Park? You go into the amusement park or Wild Water Kingdom? As a young man, water park. As an old man, you're saying now in your maturity?
Old man, I'd like to not, yeah. Because when you're a young man, that's getting soaked at a park is a young man's game. I didn't give a fuck.
What are the differences between the Beast and the Wildcat roller coasters?
I would walk around just drenched all day. Now I'd be so mad.
You don't realize how I went to a water park recently. You don't realize how fucked up you get on those slides. You get elbow burns nonstop, dude. I got off and I was like, God, my fucking elbows.
The last water ride I was on was with you in South Carolina. Never again, dude. Right up first turn, I got flipped off the raft and just slowly landed in the pond.
it's also like it's family's water slide isn't yeah it's an absolute vacuum seal on your dick you get off that thing you're like yo dude the penis is fully fucking yeah gym shorts my penis could be preserved indefinitely in that bathing suit it was vacuum sealed it was tight it's crazy i think we had also regular gym shorts on yeah yeah that's not the move i had to wait in the pool until matt could get us towels yeah i was like dude i for real can't get out of this
People were just coming down and landing next to me. Matt came back with a hotel towel, so it was this big. I just covered my penis, hopped into the lazy river.
Had the penis in the fucking... I remember that we were the only adults there without kids, so we were just riding behind. A guy would be down the bottom waiting for his child. You'd see Shane fly down.
He'd be like...
hit him with the title then with a big wave soft dude yeah boy up there i've avoided water parks since i kind of i i went to one in indoor uh last summer and i it was pretty nice the lines though were just ridiculous man yeah especially when you're like you know you're there with your kids you're like you're gonna bust a move you're like i'm gonna go to my wife i'm like all right hit the kids for a second i'm gonna run up the slide 35 minute wait i'm just looking down seeing her tapping her foot i'm like she's gonna be fucking pissed about this Told you I stopped a young fat boy trying to do the old, like, oh, my friends are up there kind of thing, and I hit him with the, you stop, you go to the back, brother.
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Chapters
8 chapters
1
What is discussed at the start of this section?
0:00–2:19
2
What are the differences between the Beast and the Wildcat roller coasters?
2:19–6:07
3
How do personal experiences at amusement parks shape opinions?
6:07–7:35
4
What are the challenges of enjoying water parks as adults?
7:35–41:24
5
What humorous holiday gift ideas are shared?
41:24–41:56
6
What crazy experiences happened during a comedy show?
41:56–42:34
7
How does the conversation shift to personal stories?
42:34–43:40
8
What are the comedic takeaways from the urgent care visit?
43:40–1:18:11