E216: Expanding Your Frame of Reference
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What is a frame of reference and how does it limit our perception?
exaggerative jam masters you will find as you grow that one of the main obstacles to your spiritual growth can be called your frame of reference the neat term frame of reference where's the box the frame in which your reference belongs the edges of where you look, of what it's about. That's your frame of reference. Your very small frame of reference, you live a very small life. Your frame of reference is my car, my job, my family, okay? And that's even a pretty big frame of reference. Some people, some frame of references are very small. It can be explained with a two-letter word, me. My frame of reference is me. It's about me. My wife is about me. My husband is about me. My children are about me. They're all supposed to be the way I want.
Everything's about me. My job is about me. My finances are about me. The weather is about me. Why is it raining on my birthday? Why is it raining on my birthday? It could have rained yesterday. That's your frame of reference. That's the limit at which your consciousness is taking in the rest of your universe. It's very, very small. What do I like? What do I want? What do I believe? What do I hope? What do I dream? See, it's not really two letters, it's one. I got it with one letter, I. That is the full frame of reference for a human being. I, me, mine. It's all about what I want, what I like, what I don't like, et cetera. So the frame of reference is limited by your center of consciousness. And then from that center of consciousness, how far out can it go?
And I'm telling you, in most people's cases, and if you pay attention, you'll see that you're one of them, it goes out as far as I'm interested in. My life, people say that, well, how is that affecting my life? Well, it's reality. But how does that affect my life? That's really funny. Okay? So there's a frame of reference. And I'm telling you, and maybe before we're done, you'll agree, the smaller your frame of reference, the harder is your life. Period. If I'm looking, my frame of reference is about whether people like me. Nothing else about whether people like me. It's my frame of reference. So I meet somebody, I'm paying attention. Do you like me? Do you not like me? There's something wrong. How can I please you?
So my frame of reference is limited to my interaction with another human being. And by the way, that was a very big reference. What if your frame of reference is about your wife or husband? Not any human being, just one human being. You are in trouble. Because when you go to work, what are you thinking about? Are they cheating on me? What are they doing? Did I do anything wrong in the morning? Did I hurt somebody? Do I need to apologize? How can I do? Your whole mindset and your emotion set is framed within your frame of reference. To get a contrast, let's talk about a healthy frame of reference. Would you like to do that? Very few people have one, but you can have one. What's your frame of reference? I live on a planet.
It's tiny. No, it's really big. No, 1.3 million of my planets fit inside the sun. 1.3 million Earths fit inside the sun. So if your frame of reference is even on the whole planet, you don't stand a chance. It's really about your husband and wife or kid. You see how small the frame of reference is? Then you're in trouble because every single thing that happens bothers you. It's either what you want or what you don't want and so on. What if your frame of reference is I was born onto a planet and I'm going to spin around in dark, black, empty space and 1.3 million Earths fit inside the sun. That's my frame of reference. Well, how long are you going to be here? I don't know, 80, 90 years. Is that a long time?
Are you kidding? How long has the planet been here? 4.5 billion years. Did you know that? And you're going to be how long? What did you tell me? 70 or 80, 90? What's your frame of reference? Which one? Does your frame of reference include reality? Does your frame of reference include outside this tiny little mindset that keeps telling you that what you get is what matters and what you like is what matters and what somebody said is what matters?
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Chapters
8 chapters
1
What is a frame of reference and how does it limit our perception?
0:01–7:12
2
How does a small, personal “me‑centered” frame cause suffering?
7:12–13:20
3
What does it mean to expand your frame of reference beyond the self?
13:20–20:56
4
How can recognizing the vastness of reality reduce neurotic thinking?
20:56–27:10
5
What practices help us handle emotions without shrinking our perspective?
27:10–33:58
6
How does removing the “fishbowl” of the mind create inner peace?
33:58–39:46
7
Why is serving the unfolding moment more fulfilling than seeking personal gain?
39:46–45:26
8
What final steps can we take to live with an expanded, compassionate frame of reference?
45:26–51:02