Laundry Rooms, Electronic Stores, F1 | Monday Morning Podcast 3-17-25 | Bill Burr
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Hey, what's going on? It's Bill Burr and it's time for the Monday Morning Podcast for Monday, March 17th, 2025. What's going on? How are ya? March 17th, St. Patrick's Day. Oh boy, here we go. I've told you this for years, man. Fucking amateur night. Amateur, amateur, amateur fucking night. I don't even know if people do it. They're saying that the young kids today, they don't drink as much. You know? It makes sense. Weed's legal. Mushrooms are readily available. You know? What do the kids do today? They do something. Some sort of drug and they put it on a Q-tip or a tampon and they stick it in their ass and they go, let's do a fucking DJ. You know, every... Every generation has their way. They get high. And as an older person, you have to respect that.
Anyway, somebody fucking finally made a post trashing. You don't need a fucking DJ at every social event. Jesus fucking Christ. I'm not saying DJs are bad, but is there anything worse than a bad DJ? Just maybe a bad comedian. It's because it lives in the same world where it's like you can't escape it because it's so fucking loud. You just got to get out of the facility. You got to get out of the building to get away from it. Oh, my God. What do you think there's more of? More people saying they're a DJ when they're not? Or thinking they're a fucking DJ? I have a podcast. What do you do? I, you know, I remodel houses. I do a podcast with one of the other remodelers. Today we're going to talk about how to really fucking hang up some drywall.
Like that fucking thing. It is kind of wild how all of this happened. Like, in my lifetime, I am old enough to remember when people said that they wouldn't move to L.A. because everybody is so plastic and fake. Now, I know people still say that, but people, you got to stop with the plastic and fake shit, with the level of Botox, fake lips, Brazilian butt lifts, Turkish fucking hair systems that are like, they're just all over the country. Everybody's walking around acting like they got to be camera ready. You know, back in the day, you used to be able to age naturally if you were like a substitute teacher. You didn't have to walk in like you were going to fucking looking like you were going to make a movie in the valley. You know? I don't understand why women keep getting their fucking lips done for the simple fact that these doctors, for whatever reason, they only know how to do one procedure.
So everybody gets the exact same lips. So you're like, oh, those are those fake lips I keep saying. fake lips they're like remember those baby on board signs that you used to wave at you in the back of the car right oh no it was a triangle baby on board that's the same thing was the same fucking thing or like a pair of crocs you're doing that with body parts god made you unique i'm going with the lord today right whatever it is made you unique you look different all right I don't know. I mean... I don't know how some of these people do. Like, when people just go, like... When they go all in. You know? I would never ask somebody this. But it just is... In a voyeuristic way, watching this shit. On some of these shows my wife used to watch. My wife is off the reality TV. It's amazing. It's fucking amazing.
No more laminated face, fucking fake lips, fake ass, fake titty chicks screaming at each other. When I come home, oh my God. I used to fucking come up to the door, you know, I could hear it, you know, the living room was like right there. Come walking in. Remind me as a kid, you know, coming home to the house, mom and dad yelling at each other, you know, or your neighbors screaming at each other. It's a lot of screaming. Wasn't a lot of AC. That was a luxury. So the original DJs that you couldn't get away from when I was growing up were moms and dads screaming at each other with the fucking windows open. I used to always feel bad for my friends when that happened. I just want to be like, hey, man, you know, my parents do it too. They all do it. There's no therapy. There was one book.
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