Why Boring Businesses Are Skyrocketing— And How You Can Benefit

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Money Rehab with Nicole Lapin 8 min 1 speaker 6 chapters transcribed
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What are boring businesses and why are they booming?

Nicole Lappin 0:02
I'm Nicole Lappin, the only financial expert you don't need a dictionary to understand. It's time for some money rehab. There's a hot investment opportunity that private equity has been all over lately. But unlike most private equity ops, this moneymaker isn't just for ultra high net worth people. For once, the investment market favors the people who like to get their hands dirty and who can see beauty where other people might not. And this big opportunity is boring businesses. I'll start by giving you one cuckoo bananas example that really paints a picture of how red hot this industry is right now. And this example is plumbing. To really let this sink in, I'm going to give you a little backstory. All of the geniuses from the big MBA programs, we're talking Wharton, Stanford, Harvard Business School, have been gunning for one job, Alpine Investors CEO in Training Program. The acceptance rate is itty bitty. It is 1.6%. And to put that into perspective, Harvard accepts 3.6%, which sounds like a breeze compared to Alpine.

What is the CEO in Training Program at Alpine Investors?

Nicole Lappin 1:09
But the CEO in Training Program is considered an elite fast track to becoming a CEO. At least 55% of graduates go on to helm companies. So what secret sauce does Alpine have to cultivate the leaders that will take over the most important businesses in our world today? Are they telling CEOs in training to go hit the books? To debate founder mode versus manager mode? To pull all-nighters? No, they're not. According to Alpine's chief talent officer, Tal Lee Anderman, these baby CEOs are learning by doing. As she puts it, quote, you're moving from Yale Law School and Harvard Business School to Jackson, Mississippi to run a plumbing company. So you know how some people say getting an MBA is like throwing money down the drain? It might literally be true.
Nicole Lappin 1:54
Alpine didn't create this program out of the goodness of their hearts or because of a passion for plumbing. They had a problem to solve. After snapping up smaller, investment-worthy, boring businesses like plumbing companies, they needed leaders to actually run them. Enter the CEO in Training Program.

Why are plumbing companies considered a hot investment?

Nicole Lappin 2:11
While they've turned it into an employment pipeline, Alpine isn't alone in snapping up plumbing companies. According to data from PitchBook, private equity investors have bought over 800 plumbing, electrical and HVAC companies since 2022. These so-called boring businesses have boomed in popularity because they are gold mines. You may have seen plumbers are being called the new millionaires next door, which is why I'm really leaning into this case study in this episode. But it's not just plumbing companies. Of course, revenue depends on scale, location, and a bunch of different factors. But on average, cleaning companies make $585,000 in annual revenue. Pest control companies make $402,000 in revenue.
Nicole Lappin 2:44
Laundromats generate around $150,000 in revenue. And nail salons can also make in the six figures. These boring businesses are ripe to be scooped up by P.E. because many of these types of businesses are local mom and pop types. There's not an Uber for pest control or an Amazon for cleaning services.

What are other examples of lucrative boring businesses?

Nicole Lappin 3:09
And so because these businesses are often run by the owner, if the owner retires or doesn't have a successor, they'll have no choice but to shut down, fire everyone and auction off equipment. Everything they worked for gets sold off piece by piece. It is pretty bleak. But if a buyer is willing to step in, many owners are happy to train the new boss and assist in financing. After all, it is their legacy that they want to be preserving. Here's a little secret. You don't need to be a massive PE firm to join the boring business boom. Anyone with entrepreneurial dreams and a little bit of funding can take advantage of this opportunity. And no, it doesn't have to be plumbing. Look around. Any thriving local business with an owner looking to retire or to move on may be your big opportunity. Does your dry cleaner talk about retirement? Or maybe your nail tuck is pregnant and ready to sell her shop. That's your cue. You could leap over the counter and go from customer to CEO without needing an MBA from Harvard.

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