You've lowered me... Significantly...
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What small talk and wardrobe problems open the episode?
This is a global production. The headline was, Vogue Williams rips into Kay Price's new husband.
This is a PR nightmare for me. Did you just end? Oh, he's seen it, he's seen it. Oh, he's typing!
I'm aware that I'm a walking fad. What's a walking fad? I had a not good time getting dressed today because nothing fit me. And I put on this dress that was then a top and I was like, oh, couldn't find something to wear. And now I'm the girl with the fucking sardines on my top. You look lovely. Everybody has sardines on their top.
I actually noticed that sardines are having a moment.
Sardines are everywhere. They're everywhere.
They're like lobsters and protein.
I don't know.
Sorry. By the way, I'm just obviously I don't want to do a Benny Blanco on it. Are my feet?
I was just going to say that was what I meant to say.
Oh, they're Benny Blanco today. Oh, my God. Do you want to put my shoes on? My shoes are cleaner than your feet.
No, I just want to say, just want to say, because my... No, I did just wash the shoes. The tiles in the kitchen are black, like they're black tiles.
Do you want, everyone has dirty feet in this house. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. You're not unclean.
I can't be, I can't have another level of cock block against me. I'm just saying, I was running around this morning with naked feet on the bare tiles and that's why they're, that's why they are like that. Because I don't want this to affect my wicky feet. And it will.
I think it might be considered sexy to have dirty feet.
I don't love this colour on me. What? The green? No, the pink shoes. It's chaotic. Do you not like it?
Well, don't slag my shoes.
This is vintage.
Listen, I'm wearing sardines. I'm not one to talk about anyone's fashion today.
Speaking of fashion, can we talk about... It's tied up in my emotional support fan, which I obviously have to have on my face a lot of times because El Nino's back. The heatwave is back and it's boiling again.
In London, which is... Did you order an oat flat white? An oat one? Yeah. Is that for you? Did you order three oats?
Yeah.
That's okay. They're not... It's almond milk. I'm sorry. Almond milk? Why?
I don't know why I did that.
Well, I'm enjoying it. It's what I really wanted, so I'm happy.
On the edge of dairy. Anyway, whatever about that. Gigi's birthday party. I would like to... Gigi's birthday party. John. Firstly... Yeah, where will we start? Firstly, I'll tell you exactly where I'll start. 3 p.m. is a very late start for a child's party. I had an Uber on the way at 1. I woke up and immediately I was like, Judy's birthday party. I was like, I can't. I'm trying to be more present and turn up to things more.
And wasn't it? I was so happy you came. Thank you. I thought it was very nice for you to come.
Thank you. Well, I was ready to go at 1. I was all packed. I had the card written and everything. I must give you the card, actually. I never gave it to her in the audience upstairs. And I was on to Vogue. And I went, where are you? And she said, oh, I'm not there yet. And I was like, what? why the fuck am I going if you're not there? And she went, it doesn't start till three. And I was like, what?
What were you doing? Three till five. What were you doing from one till three? Yeah, because then they have like, you work it around food. So like if I had done it earlier and T and Otto had football earlier, so I thought three to five, it won't be as hot and then they can have their dinner at five and then they go home.
I was like, this is like an all-nighter for the kids.
I know. Three to five. Yeah, but then they go home and go to bed. Oh, with all that sugar in their system. how good was that cake I don't think I actually ate any of the cake in it oh my it was like Bruce Bogtrotter me and Spencer's father were getting stuck into the champagne and the wine I mean if every child's party is like that I will attend more when's the next one I mean the champagne wasn't for everybody because it was mainly because I was like I'll have two glasses of champagne and then it was just gone so I had half a glass of champagne because David was just being the hostess with the mostess and he was he was free flowing it
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Chapters
4 chapters
1
What small talk and wardrobe problems open the episode?
0:02–7:38
2
How did Gigi’s birthday party unfold and why was timing debated?
7:38–15:59
3
What happened with the fur coat, Theodore and the cash at the party?
15:59–42:06
4
Why are Vogue and Joanne being dragged into the Katie Price/Lee Andrews story?
42:06–42:58