How is Neurodivergence Impacting Your Relationship?-Karen Doherty

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Neurodiverse Love with Mona Kay, MSW, Ph.D. 1h 9m 1 speaker 8 chapters transcribed 18 days ago
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What is the purpose of the Neurodiverse Love podcast and who is the guest?

Mona Kay 0:00
Welcome to the Neurodiverse Love Podcast. I'm Mona Kay and I was married for 30 years and in that relationship for 32. We didn't find out that we were a neurodiverse couple until our 29th year of marriage. I've been divorced since 2018 and together we have an amazing adult daughter who is thriving and doing fantastic. My hope is that as you navigate your relationship, But the information shared in this podcast will help you better understand the strengths, differences, and challenges you may have in your mixed neurotype relationship. If you would like to learn more about the resources I have available, I hope you will also check out my website at neurodiverse love dot com. And I also hope you will subscribe to the podcast and let me know what you like about each episode.
Mona Kay 0:51
Thank you so much for listening to the Neurodiverse Love Podcast. Welcome back to the Neurodiverse Love Podcast. I have a special guest on the podcast today who I found on the Hidden 20% podcast, which comes out of the UK. And if you haven't listened to it yet, I highly recommend it. They don't talk just about neurodiverse relationships, but they talk about neurodivergence. And Karen Doherty is my guest today, and she is Quite amazing. And she may be one of those original therapists, psychotherapists who's been working with neurodiverse couples for decades. And I just found out about her. And I've been doing the podcast for over five years. So, Karen, welcome to the Neurodiverse Love Podcast.
Karen Doherty 1:47
Oh, thank you, Mona. That's so sweet of you. Thank you so much.
Mona Kay 1:51
Yeah, I'm so excited. I'm so excited to have you here and for our conversation because you've seen so much over your years working with neurodiverse couples. And I'd love if you could just share a little bit with my audience about maybe how you got started and the work you're doing now.
Karen Doherty 2:07
I will, I will. So I trained way back, I trained about twenty five years ago at the Taverstock here in London and um I did a couple psychotherapy training course. And um that was really cool. I really enjoyed it. And I went on and I did a master's in psycho in psychosexual. So I've got the two things. Um as we came out of there and colleagues two colleagues and myself we opened up an office in Canary Wharf. And we worked there for a very long time actually. I think we had that office for about fourteen years. Um but whilst I was working there, this is when it all started, um, I started to see presentations that were the same. And it I start it started to get to me. What was going on? I had a full psychodynamic training, okay?
Karen Doherty 2:54
I was surrounded by real real heavyweight psycho psychodynamic therapists, psychoanalytic therapists. And um you know that you know that. You know that story. There is a there is a narrative, there's a psychodynamic narrative. Anyway. I got interested and I'd started doing some fishing about and then one day an American woman walked into my room and she was very tall and very beautiful and she looked down at me and she said, Now look I've heard about you and you are supposedly good at what you do. So can you tell me? What do you know about female ADHD?
Unknown 3:32
Wow.
Karen Doherty 3:34
My face was a picture. Now this was twenty eleven. Okay. Did I know anything about female ADHD? I knew about ADHD, I knew about autism, I knew more about autism, but I had to come clean with her and I said, you know what? I really don't. She said, right, here we go. She gave me a list of resources. I'll be back in three weeks. I'm traveling. And that was that started it. That actually started it. I thought, okay, now I get it. Now I understand it. So I sort of, I I sort of crawled my way through, trying to make sense of my training, which was entirely psychodynamic, and this thing that was just, it kept showing up in the same way, in the same way, in the same way. And then it I did my first talk to a group of couple psychotherapists in 2015 and it went down like a lead balloon.
Karen Doherty 4:29
Except It really did. Except for three therapists and you could see it on their faces. They were obviously married in they obviously had neurodivergent relationships.

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