Lessons Learned & Lived Experiences: Mona’s Final Solo Episode
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What inspired Mona to start the Neurodiverse Love podcast and what is its mission?
Welcome to the Neurodiverse Love Podcast. I'm Mona Kay and I was married for 30 years and in that relationship for 32. We didn't find out that we were a neurodiverse couple until our 29th year of marriage. I've been divorced since 2018 and together we have an amazing adult daughter who is thriving and doing fantastic. My hope is that as you navigate your relationship, But the information shared in this podcast will help you better understand the strengths, differences, and challenges you may have in your mixed neurotype relationship. If you would like to learn more about the resources I have available, I hope you will also check out my website at neurodiverse love dot com. And I also hope you will subscribe to the podcast and let me know what you like about each episode.
Thank you so much for listening to the Neurodiverse Love Podcast. Welcome back to the Neurodiverse Love Podcast. Today's episode is going to be my last episode for the Neurodiverse Love Podcast. However, I am starting a new podcast with my friend and colleague, Jody Carleton. So that should be starting sometime in May. And we hope that the information that we're going to share together will be helpful to neurodivergent folks, to neurotypical folks, and to couples and therapists and coaches who are out there doing this work and really trying to help a lot of people. So I started the Neurodiverse Love Podcast with my dear friend Olga. In twenty twenty, in the middle of a pandemic And we hoped that we would help at least one neurodiverse couple.
Well, fast forward to today in twenty twenty six and the podcast is being heard in over 70 countries, which is just unbelievable to me. And we have close to a half a million downloads. And by the time this airs it might be half a million. And so many people have reached out to me and shared their stories, the ups and downs of being in a neurodiverse relationship. the struggles they've had, the positive things that have happened because they've listened to the podcast. And I am so proud. to have been able to come into your cars, the gym, your house, your ears every week for the last five and a half years. I have loved doing the Neurodiverse Love podcast and all the other things that I have done since twenty twenty.
But today I wanna share Kind of what I've learned, not everything, but a lot of what I've learned. That I think can help a lot of folks out there who are struggling. Whether you're in a neurodiverse relationship. You've left a neurodiverse relationship. You didn't know you were in a neurodiverse relationship and the relationship ended and now you understand things you didn't understand then. I was in a 30-year marriage with a man that I loved, that I still think is my soulmate. And for those that understand soulmates, your soulmate isn't necessarily somebody that you're destined to spend the rest of your life with. But they are somebody that you are destined to grow and learn with. And the one person that I have done the most learning and the most growth with is my ex husband.
During our marriage, during our separation, after our divorce. I have done so much work. That I don't even sometimes recognize myself in a good way. So today I want to talk about what lack of understanding is An acceptance of differences can lead to. And what I've seen it lead to over and over and over again. is a lot of unintentional hurt and pain. And that's for both partners. And if you are experiencing this now or have experienced it, I want you to know you're not alone. I want you to know that if you were to sit in a group with Or a room with a lot of other neurodiverse couples. It would be amazing to see how many of the patterns and challenges and differences you and your partner experience that other neurodiverse couples experience.
This is real. And you know, I didn't know this in my marriage because I didn't know we were neurodiverse. I now accept. All of my ADHD ness in full. And I'm proud of who I am. I'm proud of how my brain works. I'm proud of what my body needs to thrive and to be at peace and to know that I am so far from perfect.
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Chapters
8 chapters
1
What inspired Mona to start the Neurodiverse Love podcast and what is its mission?
0:00–7:07
2
How do communication preferences differ in neurodiverse couples and why does scheduling matter?
7:07–13:38
3
What strategies help neurodiverse partners meet each other's emotional needs?
13:38–19:49
4
How can couples identify and accommodate each other's sensory sensitivities?
19:49–27:04
5
Why is understanding each partner’s social battery crucial for relationship balance?
27:04–33:44
6
What factors contribute to challenges with physical intimacy in neurodiverse relationships?
33:44–40:42
7
How can neurodiverse couples navigate employment differences and special interests?
40:42–44:45
8
What is the difference between perpetual and solvable problems and how does transition time affect them?
44:45–48:07
Speakers
1 identifiedMore from Neurodiverse Love with Mona Kay, MSW, Ph.D.
Improving Regulation & Communication-Jill Corvelli, Daniel Dashnaw, Barbara Grant & Jessie Mahoney
How is Neurodivergence Impacting Your Relationship?-Karen Doherty
Could I Really Be Autistic? Your First Steps to Self Discovery-Sarah Hendrickx
Imposter Syndrome, RSD, PDA & More-Panel Presentation from 2025 Neurodiverse Love Conference
Creating Consensual Reality in Your Neurodiverse Relationship-Margaret Cocharan
What Would Love Do?-Jessie Mahoney