During this episode, Shawna and Kevin Meek talk about how different their marriage, and their lives, could have been if they had known Kevin was autistic 20+ years ago. Kevin received his autism diagnosis less then 6 months ago, at the age of 50. Since that time, he and Shawna have worked together to learn how they can thrive individually and as a neurodiverse couple, and they share how different their relationship may have been if they had known earlier that Kevin is autistic. They both share openly and with tremendous vulnerability to help other neurodiverse couples know they are not alone and that there is hope. More specifically they address the following topics: The differences since the autism diagnosis. Accepting the inconsistencies and knowing unmasking is welcome. Not knowing the "why" of so many things in your life when their is unknown autism. The damage caused before the autism diagnosis. Being unfaithful and going through the trauma of betrayal and the healing process. The fight to be normal and how this can lead to overwhelm. Not knowing if certain behaviors were intentional or not. How lying is a form of "self protection" and negatively impacted their relationship. What led to a formal diagnosis. When one partner sees the other as the "enemy". Not understanding the true definition of abuse and how covert abuse impacted their marriage. Being critical when the environment led to overstimulation. Mis-attunement to a partners needs. Acknowledging they are both on the same team. Setting boundaries for unacceptable behavior. Knowing there is hope! Some helpful tools include weekly check-ins, code words and using a white board to share ideas and information. Acknowledging brain reactions versus behavioral responses. Limiting "abstract" words in conversation. Having grace as each partner learns more about themselves and the ways to make the relationship thrive. The importance of "giving back" by helping others who are in recovery and/or in neurodiverse relationships. I am very thankful to Shawna and Kevin for sharing their story on the Neurodiverse Love podcast. Although "unknown neurodiversity" led to a lot of "unintentional" hurt, pain and trauma in their marriage, they are both on a path to live their best lives as individuals and as a couple and want to help others do the same. If you would like to contact Shawna or Kevin Meek you can send an email to: [email protected] or visit Shawna's website at: www.livingstonescoaching.com ______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ If you are interested in learning more about the support groups that Mona offers for neurotypical/non-autistic partners or neurodiverse couples, please send her an email at: [email protected]. or visit her website at: www.neurodiverselove.com Follow Mona on Instagram @neurodiverse_love or click here to sign up for the Neurodiverse Love Newsletter. Also, if you are interested in buying a deck of the Neurodiverse Love Conversation Cards, the digital deck is now available for $11. Click here to buy your deck today. Lastly, if you missed the Neurodiverse Love Conference you can still buy a ticket for $98 to listen to the 27 AMAZING pre-recorded conference sessions. Click here to buy your ticket today. Presentations will be available to watch until May 15, 2023 Thanks for being a part of the Neurodiverse Love Community!

Ask this episode

“What did the council decide on item 42?” — answered with the speaker and the moment.