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No Such Thing As A Fish

Little Fish: Accordion To Whom?

07 Jun 2026

Transcription

Transcript generated automatically by AI and may contain errors.

Chapter 1: What facts do the hosts discuss at the beginning of the episode?

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13.345 - 30.678 James

Hello and welcome to Little Fish, the new show from No Such Thing as a Fish, the makers of, and this is my first time hosting it. And what do I say aside from that? You sound like we've got a gun to your head. That's how I feel every time I come in here.

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30.718 - 40.235 Dan

First of all, tell everyone the date and the headline on a piece of newspaper that you're holding. And then you just have to say who we are, what the show is, and then we'll get into some facts.

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40.255 - 44.021 James

This is when we can't be bothered to do any more research for ourselves.

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Chapter 2: How much salt do sumo wrestlers use in tournaments?

44.061 - 61.408 James

So instead, we dip into our inbox and we have a look at all the great facts you've found for us. And we're hoping this eventually becomes a self-making show and we don't need to do any more work ourselves. So thank you for providing some amazing facts this week in our inbox. And who's got a good one to kick us off?

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61.388 - 79.029 Dan

I've got a good one. Nice to see you all after a long week that we've had since the last one of these that we did. Yeah, I barely remember what you guys look like. Well, actually, cast your minds back all that time. We were talking about sumo wrestlers, and I have a fact here about sumo from Matthew Bright.

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79.81 - 86.958 Dan

Matthew says that each year, professional sumo tournaments in Japan consume about 4,000 kilograms of salt.

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Chapter 3: What is the significance of salt in sumo wrestling?

88.34 - 90.282 James

Is that because they throw, don't they throw salt?

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90.447 - 111.595 Dan

They throw salt. Yeah, so this is what Matthew's worked out. So each tournament lasts 15 days, and they're held six times a year. And each tournament consumes about 650 kilograms of salt, according to a journalist, which Matthew found. And then if you work that all out, it's 4,000 kilograms. And the salt is like to purify the ring.

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111.575 - 132.705 Dan

interesting um and for like you say ceremonial reasons and yeah does it grit it as well does it give you good because a lot of it is about holding your stance you're absolutely right but the ring itself is like made it's got sand in it anyway i think which means it's quite well gritted but it can't hurt yeah especially on a cold day yeah

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134.153 - 137.378 Anna

When it's on ice. Sumo on ice. Sumo on ice.

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137.739 - 141.946 Dan

Why has that not been done? I mean, that has to be a thing, doesn't it?

141.966 - 149.137 Anna

We're getting a lot of sumo action in London at the moment. We are. There's a lot of exhibition matches that have been happening at places like the Royal Albert Hall.

149.177 - 152.983 Dan

Have you ever been walking around London and just seen the sumo wrestlers?

153.164 - 154.706 Anna

I saw a guy go past on a bike.

155.167 - 156.068 James

On a bike? Oh, wow.

Chapter 4: Why are CPR training dummies designed with female features?

156.088 - 159.013 James

That's cool. That's a cartoon. Are you sure that wasn't a cartoon you saw? Yeah.

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158.993 - 164.98 Anna

I'm pretty sure I saw him on a bike. It was just down the road. And yeah, they're all over. Well, certainly when they were in town, you would see them everywhere.

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165.221 - 168.064 James

Was he on a child's bike? Tiny, tiny.

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168.084 - 186.286 Dan

He looked like that, probably. Yeah. I went to the final of the year of sumo in Tokyo when I was there, which was very cool. But it was the day we arrived and we were so jet lagged, we both fell asleep in the middle of the tournament. Ouch. I felt like people should have been throwing salt on us to keep us awake.

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186.306 - 188.188 Anna

Yeah, smelling salts. Yeah. Chuck those out.

188.229 - 188.629 Dan

Yeah.

Chapter 5: What is the myth about 10,000 accordions buried in Sweden?

188.609 - 191.98 James

Do you want to throw salt over your shoulder for good luck when you use it? I do actually, yeah.

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192.12 - 196.915 Dan

Even though I know it's stupid and I'm not very superstitious generally. I just like, I think it's cool.

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198.464 - 203.472 Anna

I have found myself in restaurants going, who's that cool guy? The salt thing.

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203.713 - 219.038 Dan

I wouldn't do it in a restaurant. It's when I'm cooking and I spill some. It's when you spill it, not when you put it on your food, right? What do you mean when you spill it? That's the idea. So you spill salt and that's very bad luck. And so you throw some over your shoulder into the devil's face.

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219.068 - 223.196 James

Oh, we just did it whenever we salt anything. Salt it and then toss it over your shoulder.

223.217 - 224.058 Dan

Oh, I'm not that cool.

224.419 - 237.145 James

Well, I've always been a few rungs above you, haven't I? But since being the person who cleans the house rather than my mother when I was a kid when we all did it, I've realised it's an incredibly annoying habit. I wouldn't let anyone do that in my house. It's just so

237.125 - 252.18 Dan

on the floor the whole time yeah that's true but at least you're not slipping over and it's also purified spiritually there you go that's why there's no ghost in your house do you know that sumo wrestlers if you're a sumo wrestler you are associated with a 9.8 year negative lifespan

252.16 - 271.35 Dan

compared to a non-sumo wrestler it does make a bit of sense doesn't it it does but actually like most obviously most sports if you do them you have a longer lifespan yeah because you you know if you're a gymnast you have a 8.2 years higher life expectancy and there is one

Chapter 6: How do glove puppets play a role in raising California condors?

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319.62 - 330.841 Anna

Pole vaulters live on average 8.4 years longer than the rest of us. Must be something to do with the clean air they're getting access to at the top bit.

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330.982 - 336.791 Dan

Or maybe, you know, like there's something about special relativity if you're in space, like time slows down.

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336.951 - 339.716 James

Oh, yes. You don't age. Of course.

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339.816 - 340.497 Dan

Time traveling.

341.178 - 341.519 Anna

Wow.

342.24 - 345.205 James

They must have got better since I last watched the pole vault for getting that high.

345.385 - 348.751 Anna

It's really fun these days. They go up and they come down three years younger.

348.791 - 349.532 James

Yeah.

Chapter 7: What unusual fact is shared about the first novel ever written?

445.968 - 447.831 James

Who's come up with it? Accordion to whom?

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448.332 - 471.928 Anna

Brilliant. Lovely. Thank you. So there's a leading theory that the society has. It's that they are old Eastern European accordions, which were bought by Hagstrom in the 1930s. They were planning on renovating, but by the 1960s, The accordion market took a big dip. They weren't selling as well and they had outsourced a lot of the industry to Asia. So they buried their inventory.

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472.569 - 479.938 Anna

The exact number of accordions isn't known, but the myth says that there is 10,000. And so they did this documentary and they found, yeah, there's a lot.

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479.958 - 483.122 Dan

What did they do? They dug it up like Time Team and they found them?

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483.523 - 489.19 Anna

Yeah, they found remnants of a lot of them. I don't think they found 10,000.

489.338 - 492.523 James

Well, some of them would have decomposed, wouldn't they? The less well-made ones. Hold on.

Chapter 8: What are the humorous insights shared about walking directions?

492.543 - 503.598 James

So there were actually... I thought this was a bullshit myth made up by this mad community of accordion aficionados. And it's actually true. There are 10,000 accordions buried under a parking lot.

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503.618 - 507.364 Anna

I feel like you would need that ending for the documentary to work. Oh, yeah.

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507.384 - 512.251 Dan

Do you reckon the docomakers went in the middle of the night and dug some holes and put some accordions in there?

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512.271 - 518.44 Anna

Very true. You'd hear them, though, in the night, putting them in, wouldn't you?

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518.46 - 518.62

LAUGHTER

519.224 - 521.167 James

Where's the mute button on this bastard?

522.209 - 531.863 Dan

If you ever, in 10,000 years, if someone digs up that parking lot, they'll probably think, like, the king of tedious, annoying instruments was buried there. Yeah.

532.344 - 540.256 James

You're so right. Do you think all kind of Egyptian pyramids were actually, like, people had too many... Too many bricks. Too many bricks.

540.276 - 544.242 Unknown

Just put them in a pile. Not that pile. A slightly neater pile.

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