An embarrassing incident with a housekeeper, the “wrong” way to eat a cinnamon roll, Andy's jealousy of Elizabeth's healthy stream, learning to be a better texter/friend, Elizabeth's fear of getting CSI'd…It’s all covered on this week’s Nobody’s Listening, Right? *Check out our NEW Daily Podcast: Nobody’s News* @NobodysNewsDaily ▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬ Join Patreon for bonus episodes! https://patreon.com/nobodyslisteningright Buy the Merch! https://www.nobodyslisteningright.com/ Find us on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/nobodyslisteningright/ Watch us on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@nobodyslisteningright Find us on TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@nobodyslisteningright Shop with us: https://www.amazon.com/shop/nobodyslisteningright ▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬ Chapters 00:00 Intro 02:50 Healthy Streams 04:37 Body Envy 05:56 Embarrassing 16:37 Tell The Neighbors? 18:19 Food Rewards 23:15 Cinnamon Roll Ethics 34:43 Party Time 44:11 Bad Texter 56:17 It's Happening For You Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Chapter 1: What embarrassing incident happened with the housekeeper?
Chapter 2: How do you feel about your body and self-image?
You look funny.
Yeah, something about me. I don't feel like I'm in my body. I don't feel like my posture is right. I feel completely uncomfortable and weird. What is wrong when you're looking at me? What is happening?
You look like an alien. Oh my God, it's like those snails that got zombified that we talked about on Nobody's News. You look like an alien took over your body and is trying to make the face that humans make.
Chapter 3: What are the ethical considerations around food rewards?
I don't know where my feet are supposed to go. I think the bottom of my chair is different or something.
What is happening?
I don't know. I'm just going to look like I'm supposed to be posing.
Just act human. Be normal.
Be normal.
When you report back to the mothership, you want to let them know that you did a good job.
I saw someone say on Reddit that they saw someone's face glitch and they were with three other people that saw it too. And I was like, that seems plausible to me. You heard it here.
Okay. I am thrilled to talk to you for an hour, so no one's listening, as we do, but is anyone listening?
Yeah, this is from Ebony over on Spotify. I'm always so curious what conversation sounds like immediately after you end recording. Great show as always. I laughed so abruptly that I snorted when Elizabeth said corpse play. That's a reference to last week's episode, which I thought was going to get us canceled.
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Chapter 4: What are the 'Cinnamon Roll Ethics' discussed in this episode?
Yeah. In my case it is. Can be.
Can be. Got a healthy stream though, I always say. When anyone asks me about your stream, healthy. And when anyone asks you about my stream, what do you say?
Oh boy.
No, what do you really say?
Yes, it is like a trickling stream through a wooded forest where maybe it's not normally a stream, but snow just melted. And so it's just kind of like creating its own path.
Okay, I want you to pretend as if not a good, good friend. This is just an acquaintance. And you find out, it's not weird that they bring this up, but somehow everyone's talking about their streams. It's not a funny conversation. What about your husband's stream?
Um, you know, well, he's kind of checked out. Let's start there. He's gone to the doctor a couple of times.
See, what I think you would say would be like, oh, yeah, it's yeah, it's fine. That's what I think you'd honestly say.
No, I wouldn't. I would say it's. I'm always kind of worried when I hear it. It's like, it feels, what your stream sounds like to me, is that just gravity is doing the job for you. There's no muscle behind it. Whereas I'm like forcing out the pee.
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Chapter 5: How can we improve our texting and communication skills?
Maybe we should talk about what happened to us first.
Chapter 6: What does it mean to be a 'bad texter'?
So this is the woman who cleans our house twice a month. We love her. She's been with us for 15 years. She's watched both of our children grow up. And we respect her a lot. She's older than us. She's very sweet and loving, but also like I think more conservative than we are probably. And so I am always embarrassed.
You know, there's a sex in the city where the housekeeper is finding her sex toys and putting them out and stuff like that.
Putting them out on the table? Or washing them?
Like to let her know that she's seeing it or like washing, I don't know. It's been a minute. So I always think about how our sweet cleaning person... So she's not finding...
It's a good point to make, though. She does probably know a lot about us, because she knows all of our drawers. She knows a lot of stuff. Yes. But we don't have that many, like, I don't know, incriminating things. That being said, I'm sure she knows everything about us. Oh, yeah. If you're in her field, you know.
Although I do, like, we have a small house. Everything goes where it goes, you know. I don't know what all she's finding that is... What about my white cotton gloves? Well, that's the one. You're leaving those fucking things out and about all around with a huge tub of Vaseline that's got Vaseline smeared all over it. And it is so grotesque. And we were having people over. I think even St.
Monica was coming over something. And I was like, you must put those... Little cotton white gloves next to the, like, that are all, like, globulated with Vaseline and then the Vaseline's next to it. They're good for my dry hands. You put Vaseline on your hands, I think, too much, and then you put the gloves on and it overnight, like, helps the Vaseline soak into your hands.
But it looks very freaky.
Why? This is, again, getting kind of to your pervy brain. Why do the white gloves with Vaseline... Do you hear yourself? I do, but I actually... Do you?
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Chapter 7: What is the significance of delayed gratification?
Chapter 8: How does jealousy play a role in friendships?
Oh boy.
No, what do you really say?
Yes, it is like a trickling stream through a wooded forest where maybe it's not normally a stream, but snow just melted. And so it's just kind of like creating its own path.
Okay, I want you to pretend as if not a good, good friend. This is just an acquaintance. And you find out, it's not weird that they bring this up, but somehow everyone's talking about their streams. It's not a funny conversation. What about your husband's stream?
Um, you know, well, he's kind of checked out. Let's start there. He's gone to the doctor a couple of times.
See, what I think you would say would be like, oh, yeah, it's yeah, it's fine. That's what I think you'd honestly say.
No, I wouldn't. I would say it's. I'm always kind of worried when I hear it. It's like, it feels, what your stream sounds like to me, is that just gravity is doing the job for you. There's no muscle behind it. Whereas I'm like forcing out the pee.
Oh, your fire hose. Yours is the picture when they let go of the fire hose on accident and then it's flailing all around everywhere. And like someone gets hit in the face with it. You gotta be careful with yours. I know you're jealous. You're jealous. I knew, I knew.
Every time I get up in the middle of the night and I go. And I also sometimes know that you're probably listening. And I go, I'll like stop it. And then I'll start it again.
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