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Not For Radio

679: The Poop Knife

24 Apr 2026

Transcription

Chapter 1: What is the main topic discussed in this episode?

0.672 - 30.375 Duncan Hyatt

if you imagine a massive in the toilet how are you cutting it like you'd be cutting off slices of a luncheon sausage how are snipers welcome to not for radio this is gonna contain some swearing but it's a bloody good time so if you're new to the podcast that's sort of what you've got yourself in for uh my name is duncan hyatt that's jay reeve and plenty to climb through childhood dreams of owning things um that you saw when you were younger then you realize man if you're mega rich you can probably buy some of those things

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Chapter 2: What is the 'Coast to Coast to Coast' war story?

30.355 - 51.799 Jay Reeve

At the end of the podcast, we tell you how we could be flying you from anywhere on the planet to join us at one of the greatest motorsports events on the planet in Australia. It's called Bathurst. Also, what the mayor of Christchurch has got. Do you have a poop knife, is asked. That's zero from three. Tom, do you have a poop knife?

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51.819 - 52.98 Duncan Hyatt

He's putting two hands up.

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53.08 - 57.645 Jay Reeve

He's got two. Two poop knives, everyone. A knife and a fork.

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Chapter 3: What hilarious events occurred during the morphine incident?

59.06 - 65.834 Duncan Hyatt

That's Mighty Stitcher. We've got a couple of messages on the Sniper line as well. Plenty to get through. Someone's going to take away one of our Not For Radio hats.

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Chapter 4: What unique things does the Mayor of Christchurch own?

65.874 - 70.544 Duncan Hyatt

Can't buy them at the moment, so money can't buy. This episode brought to you by Classic Builders.

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Chapter 5: What was the significance of the childhood dream purchase?

70.564 - 77.338 Duncan Hyatt

They've been building homes for over 30 years in New Zealand. Pretty straightforward, pretty good at it. Get amongst them if you're looking at getting a new home. Enjoy.

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78.432 - 89.91 Unknown

Attention, snipers! Gear up and hold your positions. It's time to load up some war stories. Your tales from the frontline, brought to life. Prepare to fire!

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90.667 - 93.891 Jay Reeve

We're going to bring out the coin of destiny again. Yesterday we used this.

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Chapter 6: What is the story behind the infamous 'Poop Knife'?

94.151 - 103.021 Jay Reeve

I have an existing war story that Benny Boy's chucked into the mixer for me. And then I've got a potentially rogue one.

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103.882 - 112.351 Duncan Hyatt

Okay, I'll keep my laptop out of the way. So for those that were listening to yesterday's episode or haven't heard anything about the coin of destiny, we've got a $1 million coin minted by our mates at Polished Diamonds.

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Chapter 7: What plans were made for the ANZAC weekend?

112.651 - 130.376 Duncan Hyatt

About $5,500 worth of things, almost solid silver, about 70 mils across for those listening. Oh no, these things dent. So it's a big fucking coin, and it's just going to make life decisions, no matter how big or small. So Will J. Reid. Oh yeah, nice work, Benny.

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Chapter 8: What classic yarn is shared about 'Up The Rector'?

130.396 - 132.538 Duncan Hyatt

We'll just take it up to the camera there. We'll let it focus on.

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132.678 - 164.856 Jay Reeve

No, because it's on a set focus, isn't it? Yeah. Yeah, I mean, we'll take a photo. It's glorious. It's absolutely glorious. You know, this is what, $5,500? Of the radio station's money plays you. So here's you, Reid. So heads, you read your mate's one? Yep. Heads. Heads, I read. Yeah. So Kiv's tails and Clayton's heads. Is that right? Clayton's heads, Kiv's tails.

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169.603 - 181.781 Duncan Hyatt

That's heads. All right, so this... Hey, just a completely random question there, Atomic. Does anybody else use this table? Because it is going to be fucked.

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182.882 - 186.566 Unknown

Yeah, a few podcasts use it.

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186.586 - 203.343 Duncan Hyatt

Okay, good to know. We might need to get a flipping pad. I mean, it's okay for now, but if we make this a regular thing, she's going to... Yeah, we'll get a flipping pad thingy. Yeah, okay. She's one of the cushions over there. Okay, won't sound as good, but... All right, get into it, you pussy.

203.703 - 212.2 Jay Reeve

I'm just... He's given me a couple of options here. Okay. So this is your mate's one? This is my mate.

212.22 - 218.211 Duncan Hyatt

Let's call him Dunk, because that's his fucking name. There we go. I've never heard you talk about another dunk. This feels like a bit of a stitch-up.

220.216 - 241.342 Jay Reeve

Oh nah, fuck I'll use their names, it'll be easier. It started like every other year, a bunch of blokes convincing themselves they were elite athletes instead of slightly broken idiots with a group chat and too much confidence. The goal? An epic test of mental strength, physical prowess, and solidarity. Enter Jason, the self-appointed mastermind. He proudly unveiled this year's grand plan.

241.783 - 244.709 Jay Reeve

The coast to coast to coast.

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