Chapter 1: How did Jay become a national stone skimming champion?
You're a published fisherman.
Oh, it sounds amazing. Over the Tasman, the banter is high. With Jay talking shit and the insults fly. Poor Dunk tries to speak, but his English is weak. With a look of pure dread in his eye. He's trying to describe a meat pie. With a sauce that's tricky to buy. This is sister, sure. Ah, fuck, it's not for radio.
That's some of their best work. It is great. Thank you very much, whoever that was. That is amazing. Welcome to Not For Radio. We're your hosts, Duncan Hyde, Jay Reeve. How are Snipers?
This is great stuff. One hell of a week we've had and arrived at the finish line. And this studio is reeking of home-killed lamb. It smells amazing. What's the cut you got there? Well, this is basically one of those setups where it's just kind of hacked bits of all parts of the land.
It's kind of all cobbled together, so there's a little bit of shoulder, a little bit of loin in there, and then a little bit of inter-connective tissue, little intercostal muscles out from in between the ribs. Great. And my mouth's watering talking about it.
Feel free to eat during the podcast. That wouldn't worry me at all.
No, sounds great.
Benny Boy's saying with his face that it's very unprofessional. I'm okay with it.
Do you know the highlight of recent times was here in New Zealand, Lloyd Burr, who is a journalist, a serious journalist. He was interviewing the Mayor Wayne Brown, and he had a bowl of Heartland's extra crunchy chips in front of him, and he just boofed the whole lot mid-chat. Just kept crunchy. Whenever he wasn't talking, he was eating chips, and it was fucking so good. That's sick.
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Chapter 2: What are the details of the upcoming Bathurst trip?
Let's say you could play badminton and stuff sideways on the basketball court. I ran towards the wall, pushed off with my right leg, slapping the basket out with my hand and expecting to come down on my left foot. Fine. My ankle thought different, guys. Landed on the side of my foot and tore two ligaments.
Pushed through the pain as a rugby lad would until it came to after the lesson when I needed to pee. I hobbled to the toilet, stood at the urinal to suddenly start pissing at an angle. My ankle wasn't able to hold me up and folded under my weight. I decided A&E was the best bet, so I hopped on my moped and shot into the hospital, ankle waving about in the wind.
They told me the damage, gave me crutches and some exercise to fix it. To this day, eight years later, my ankle still clicks with every single step I take. All of my mates that were there still take the piss out of me, saying I couldn't sneak up on a deaf person, even if I tried, and they know that it was all my fault for being made of glass.
Anyway, up there was.
And a big up for being soft as.
I love reflecting on those childhood gym days. Because, I mean, often for us it would be you just get sent outside and you just have to go and kick a footy ball around. This was back in the days when we had a guy called Mr. Hunter. who was still into being from the Tyree Plains in Dunedin or just outside of Dunedin.
He was pretty keen on supervised bull rush because at that stage, bull rush had been outlawed. But you could just go, here's one of those things. You can opt in or you can opt out. And if you opt out, then you're done. You know, basically, so there's just a no. We're in, regardless.
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Chapter 3: What are some memorable war stories shared in the episode?
One of the most exciting things I remember from our high school, we had like a weird mix of farmers who were the big first 15 players, but then also like kind of gangster-y lads. And so seeing them play Bull Rush at lunchtime, it was like the big, it was like East Coast versus West Coast, but like the country edition.
And so seeing these huge big farming lads try and snap the gangsters in half and vice versa was such a rush.
Yeah, we had a, not that it was full apartheid, but we would have basically, we had a bilingual unit at Tauranga Boys College and they numbered in the probably 300 kids. And from entry level, third form, 13 year olds, all the way through to seventh form. And sometimes even the teachers would jump on as well just to run it straight. We'd have like these huge games.
Chapter 4: What funny Facebook Marketplace ad was discussed?
It was basically just one-off runners. Like it was just league until you knocked it on. So you're just running it one off.
the whole time and there was some of the greatest bell ringing hits that you've ever seen go down like no it was like State of Origin so even down the middle yeah this is the vibes I used to get from it too yeah it was great one time a kid went out and he got tackled but got scragged by his boxers but they were the silky boxers and somehow he got scragged that hard that the dude that was tackling him managed to pull the silky boxers off him and those things don't rip I don't know if you've ever given someone a wedgie in them
bloody worst things ever to get a wedge in because there's no giving them. That was the power and the tackle, ripped it off and sliced his sack open.
I was going to say, that's like leadering a marlin next to the boat. Exactly. Exactly like that. Yeah, it was great. I love it. Gone are the days of that where I'd like to think that, like I say to my boys when they're at school now, like, what are you doing? And they're big into music. And so they go, oh, let's just head off to the music room and I've got an amazing music room to muck around.
And I was like, So does no one play rugby or soccer or whatever out on the field tonight?
Just because you thought it was cool when you were younger, mate, doesn't mean they'll find it cool.
I know, but they should because it is fucking cool. And if they're not doing it, then they're not fucking cool. Now you're just sounding old, mate. We're old. I've arrived there.
Yes, Betty boy? We used to play kent ball in school because we had... I'm trying to remember his first name he used to play for the Blues and stuff might have been Nathan Kemp he was our PE teacher and he didn't want a bar of any of the other sports at school except for like rugby and maybe a little bit of soccer football So we designed a game that was basically played with a round ball.
It was rugby until the ball was dropped, and then it was football. Which is a great game. If someone kicked it up off the ground, you could catch it and start running with it. Why is that not a sport? We just played that for a whole year. And you were the only ones even to play it. Yeah, it was great. We loved it so much. We played it at lunchtime. We'd just come back in covered in mud.
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Chapter 5: How does the story of a wild night out unfold?
Here we go.
He's got it. He's got it.
Up to the podium.
Happy days. Hang on, hang on, hang on, hang on.
We're waiting for some official tabulation. The team are out there doing their job. Naked ass is all I can say at this stage. That is absolutely outstanding stuff. Clearly would never have picked it in a million years, but we'll get the tabulation in, we'll head down to the prize giving and we will see how we got on. Did I do enough?
The video footage will be replayed over and over and over again. I just keep double checking it, but it still looks the same.
Bit of champagne.
I mean, the fizz that was there, the vibe on the lakeside was just awesome. Everyone turned up knowing exactly what they were getting themselves in for. It's such an accessible sport, isn't it? But it's something that I think everyone has grown up doing. I don't know anybody that didn't grow up skimming stones. You would spend hours if you were at a place like that.
And particularly Lake Hawea, because they've got a slate stone, It just skims so much better than anything else.
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