I Think I Solved the Mystery of the NFL's Secret Scammer and a $5 Billion Check
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Welcome to Pablo Torre Finds Out. I am Pablo Torre, and today we're going to find out what this sound is.
My money comes from white people. White people.
I don't even know what that means, but okay. Right after this ad.
You're listening to DraftKings Network.
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So, Cortez, do you notice anything different about me today at the last show of our week here?
I mean, instead of wearing, like, purple pants like you have in the past with me, you're wearing shorts?
For some reason. We have found out a lot this week on Pablo Torre Finds Out. Why I'm wearing shorts. Go listen to yesterday's episode with Katie Nolan to find out why I will never wear pants again. That's one thing we found out.
I'm so impressed with your calves, dude. As someone who used to do calf raises in high school, like, yours are better than anything I've ever put out. Like, for sure.
I do want people to understand that Ryan Cortez used to be a member of a thing called Roid Crew. Allegedly. That's a separate Finds Out investigation. But we learned, speaking of investigations, that Stu Gatz did better P-tape journalism than Rachel Maddow this week.
We learned that Dan Soder has the best Macho Man Savage impression I've ever heard.
It's incredible. It's incredible. But today, Cortez, because I consider us a show on a mission, right a journalistic mission i want to talk about how we all have that one like message email phone call letter that we received at some point in our life that we vividly remember receiving right you remember uh where you were what you were doing how it felt to receive this thing
Dude, you know what's funny is five years ago on this day, you and I were working together on High Noon. This is the fourth show you and I have worked together on. Debatable, highly questionable High Noon. Pablo Torre finds out. Five years ago on this day when I was getting ready to go to work for High Noon, I got a text message from one of the producers. And I remember that message. I remember where I was, how it made me feel. The message said, are you cool pouring maple syrup in Pablo's mouth? And I was like, dude, I wanted to be a journalist, and this is what my career has come to now.
Yeah, youtube.com slash PabloToryFindsOut. Find the archival footage of that happening. That's a thing we did on ESPN1. But for me, Cortez, the message I most remember receiving, the message that still is sort of like cattle-branded into my brain, happened just this spring. and it was a text message that I got on a lazy May afternoon in New York City. I remember I was eating a whole wheat tuna wrap. Disgusting. You're pathetic. Staring out the window of a diner counter. What's wrong with, I mean, I guess I have been yelled at before.
Tuna's disgusting and you're eating it alone. That's what's wrong with it.
I did get yelled at once for eating a tuna wrap on an Acela. Ew, bro. You should be kicked off for that.
That's foul. It smells terrible. You're a bad person.
But I digress. The reason why I remember this tuna wrap was because I got a message, a text message from my friend Kenny who happens to live in Washington, D.C., And Kenny is a D.C. guy, born and raised. He's actually now the head basketball coach at Howard University. Just made the tournament with Howard for the first time in 31 years. Yeah. In March. Yeah. He is the MEAC coach of the year, actually, right? He's a big deal in D.C. But the text that Kenny sent me in May, I should clarify, was not about any of that. And it was not actually text. This message was just an attachment, actually. It was a PDF of a bank draft. What is a bank draft? So a bank draft is just like a guaranteed check, basically.
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