The One Question You’re Avoiding Could Change Your Life | Scott Simon & Gregory Stock – EP 824
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What is the core idea behind courage as asking hard questions?
Hey friends, what if your biggest problem isn't that you're not doing enough, but that you've spent too long proving that you are enough? You can be successful, needed, and surrounded by people and still feel completely unseen. That's the problem I explore in my new book, The Mattering Effect. I show you how we become hyper-visible for what we produce while quietly becoming invisible to ourselves, and introduce the matter framework to help you reclaim meaning, autonomy, trust, time. energy and reciprocity. Stop auditioning for your worth. Start living from it. The Mattering Effect is available for pre-order now at Mattering Effect.com. What if courage isn't about doing something you're afraid to do? What if it begins with something much harder?
Asking yourself a question. You may not want to answer. We often think of courage as taking action. But Scott Simon told me that the place people struggle most isn't physical courage or even ethical courage. It's the ability to ask and answer hard questions. Because a great question is can take you beneath the surface to the parts of yourself You may have been avoiding, rationalizing, or simply never stop to examine. And sometimes the question itself is can be the beginning of change.
Take a listen. In my courage work, the number one area where people struggle the most isn't about physical courage or even ethical courage. It's the ability to ask and answer hard questions. And that comes from deeply inside of each one of us. And I think that's where a beautifully crafted question comes into play. A great question. kind of allows us to get below the surface, to connect with deeper parts of ourselves.
Hey, it's your friend John, and welcome to Passion Struck. I'm so glad you're here. Whether you're a longtime listener or someone who just discovered the show, thank you for pressing play today. Maybe you've felt the life you were supposed to want. But you've quietly wondered why it still doesn't feel like enough. If that's you, you're in the right place. Every week, I sit down with the world's top scientists, researchers, and thinkers to uncover what it actually takes to build an intentional life that matters. Thanks for joining me. Let's get into it. Welcome back to Passion Struck episode 824. In this series, we've been exploring what it means to become more adaptive, to change, grow, and navigate a world that constantly asks us to evolve.
Over the past conversations we've looked at adaptation from some very different angles. Angela Duckworth challenged us to think about how much our situations shape who we become. Marty Seligman took us deeper into agency. The belief that our actions can make a difference. David Epstein explored how we navigate uncertainty. Develop our capabilities and find focus in a world full of possibilities. And last week Cole Brower showed us what adaptation looks like when you're 27,000 miles from home, alone at sea, and there's no one else who can take the helm. But there's a question underneath all of that. How do you know what needs to change? If you're not willing to ask yourself the questions that reveal it.
That's where today's conversation begins. I'm joined by Scott Simon and Dr. Gregory Stock. Two people who have spent decades approaching the same human problem from very different directions. Scott is the founder of the Scare Your Soul Courage movement, where he has helped people practice courage by stepping beyond their comfort zones. You may remember him from a few years ago in episode three hundred. Gregory is the creator of the book of questions. The groundbreaking book that has spent decades getting people to stop, think, and have conversations that go deeper than the ones we normally have. Now they've brought those two worlds together in their new book. The book of questions courage. And I love the premise because courage isn't always dramatic.
Sometimes courage is having the conversation you've been avoiding. Sometimes it's admitting what you really want. Sometimes it's questioning a belief you've carried for years.
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Chapters
7 chapters
1
What is the core idea behind courage as asking hard questions?
0:02–14:31
2
How can a single thoughtful question transform a dinner conversation into a memorable experience?
14:31–15:00
3
How do Scott Simon and Gregory Stock define the hardest question to ask yourself?
15:00–18:44
4
Which questions should we deliberately refuse to outsource to AI?
18:44–19:41
5
Why does the question “What lie are you telling yourself to keep safe?” cut to the core of personal growth?
19:41–22:03
6
What role does vulnerability play in creating deeper human connections?
22:03–46:51
7
What is the most powerful question Gregory Stock suggests for unlocking courage?
46:51–57:55
Speakers
1 identifiedMore from Passion Struck with John R. Miles
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What If the Proof You're Waiting For Never Comes? | John R. Miles - EP 822
Why Nothing You Achieve Will Ever Make You Feel Worthy | Marisa G. Franco – EP 821
How to Believe in Yourself When Everyone Tells You “You Can’t” | Cole Brauer - EP 820
The Agency Paradox: Why Real Adaptability Starts Inside the Box | John R. Miles - EP 819
You Don't Need More Freedom. You Need Better Constraints | David Epstein - EP 818