Intimacy: 1. Did You Just Dribble On Me?

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Arc 17 min 5 speakers 5 chapters transcribed 2 months ago
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What is the main topic discussed in this episode?

Ad announcement voice (Unknown) 0:00
This BBC podcast is supported by ads outside the UK.
Airport/flight staff / minor (Unknown) 0:26
You're about to listen to Intimacy, the latest series of ARK.
Narrator / Credits reader (Unknown) 0:54
This episode contains strong language and sexual content.
Ruby (Tia Bannon) 1:01
I've never felt this way.

What happens in the opening scene that sets a comedic tone and introduces Liza's job?

Ruby (Tia Bannon) 1:12
Your skin.
Rob (Simon Kassianides) 1:14
The smell of you. Your heart is the light to my darkness. Your touch. Oh, my God. Did you just dribble on me? No, I didn't. It was the boat making it rot. I was going to be sick. What is that corn? And cut! Liza!
Mum (Alison Steadman) 1:35
Liza!
Liza (Lena Headey) 1:38
Here! I'm here. Mediocre Rupert. Fun fact, he looks like a gourd trying to disguise itself as a man by wearing a North Face jacket.
Rob (Simon Kassianides) 1:47
cocks out again.
Liza (Lena Headey) 1:48
Matt, I left a tape in your trailer. It pulls all my pubes off. Yeah, it's not a perfect set-up. Do you want me to look at it? The modesty garment? Yes, please. Step inside the tent. Here.
Airport/flight staff / minor (Unknown) 2:00
Thank you.
Liza (Lena Headey) 2:01
Yeah.
Airport/flight staff / minor (Unknown) 2:03
Let's have a look. It's small because it's... It's cold.
Liza (Lena Headey) 2:07
I know. It's very cold, Matt. It's all good. I'm not looking at your penis.
Rob (Simon Kassianides) 2:13
Good job we have a fluffer.
Liza (Lena Headey) 2:15
My job title is Intimacy Coordinator. I have a purpose, Rupert.
Rob (Simon Kassianides) 2:22
Then coordinate quicker. We're about to get rained on. I don't understand why a grown man can't tape his own penis. I'm sure it's something makeup can do. It's ridiculous that we have an extra mouth to feed because we have to have a willy tape wrangler.
Liza (Lena Headey) 2:39
Rupert! What? Fuck off! I am going as fast as I can. It would bring me so much joy to see you swept away in a freak flood, Rupert. But I am a realist, and dreams rarely come true, so let me finish taping this cock sock. Right, you are good to go. It's a great scene, and you both look great, sir. I really felt that last date. Do I? What? Look great? James hates me. He doesn't.
Ruby (Tia Bannon) 3:13
I've got an audition to play Thor.
Liza (Lena Headey) 3:15
Have you? Wow. That's... Wow. He has to ride a couple of boats here and there, I imagine. Yeah. Think Thor.
Ruby (Tia Bannon) 3:24
Think Thor. Yeah.
Rob (Simon Kassianides) 3:27
Think Thor. Let's do this. Right. Last shot of the day. Let's get this done, people. Rolling. Sound speed. Marker. 102, take five. And action.
Narrator / Credits reader (Unknown) 3:45
Intimacy, episode one.
Liza (Lena Headey) 3:54
Hey, Siri, call Ruby. Calling Ruby. Hey, Queen. Slay. Rubes, I'm on my way home from sunny Wales. I have the weekend. I'd really love to see you for all of it, some of it. I still like to hold that little hand of yours. Fun fact, mine will always be the big hand till I'm 75 and then we'll swap my wrinkly old paper hand in yours. Call me back. I miss you. Lou, hi. There she is, Liza Simmons. That's me. I have a very exciting offer for you. Oh. It would mean leaving the Welsh job. No, I would miss the great catering and having nowhere warm to go or anywhere to sit for 14 hours a day. Studio movie with studio money, but indie philosophy, collaborative, all the cool things. Modern take on Lady Chatterley's Lover, you know, our director's love remake in that one.
Liza (Lena Headey) 5:04
Four weeks into the shoot already, small Greek island, bottom of the Peloponnese. They are offering a ridiculous amount of cash. What's the catch? Who died? Shirley Keane. Oh, fuck! Car accident on the way home late last night. I didn't mean... Is she... Dead? No. They need to replace her with an intimacy coordinator for a couple of weeks. Right. Just allow her to recuperate. But if they like you... And your work. Job can become yours. Oh, God. That's a big opportunity for you, Liza. Just don't be your usual self. What? Not so... What? Well, don't people manage so much. I mean, they did ask for Lola, but she's unavailable. She's on Harry Potter. Mark is out of the flu, so you are... Oh, not that I'm suggesting you are, you know, the last turkey on the shelf, but... Your reputation does...
Liza (Lena Headey) 6:00
Proceed you. Are you aware of that? I wasn't. Enlighten me. I just need you to be fun, Liza. Relax. Jolly. Not so... Stick up your arse. Enjoy a bit of banter. Just don't be a lone wolf. Anyway, I'm saying yes before they change their minds.

How does Liza handle on-set intimacy coordination and male performers' modesty concerns?

Liza (Lena Headey) 6:21
I don't have a stick up my arse. Who's directing? A woman? No, it's a man. The budget's too high for that. Anyway, Carl will pick you up tomorrow morning at 6am. Business class flight. This all sounds amazing. Amazing. And I'll tell the Welshies you've got Covid.
Ruby's child / young caller (Unknown) 6:42
You have one new message.
Ruby (Tia Bannon) 6:45
Ruby doesn't want to come to yours this weekend. I tried. Saw your Instagram post.

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