Intimacy: 5. Supriza Liza

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Arc 17 min 7 speakers 5 chapters transcribed 1 month ago
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Greg Jenner 0:00
This BBC podcast is supported by ads outside the UK. Hello, Greg Jenner here. I'm the host of You're Dead to Me, the BBC comedy show that takes history seriously. Every episode, I pair up a top historian with a fantastic comedian, and we have a lovely, funny, fascinating chat about a different subject from world history. And in this new series, we're beginning with an epic voyage through the story of Homer, the Iliad, and the Odyssey. And that's with Kyle Smith-Bino joining us. And then we'll be learning about Francis Galton and the racist, discredited pseudoscience of eugenics with Desiree Birch. We'll meet many medieval saints in their bone boxes with Rachel Parris. So if that sounds like your sort of thing, listen to You're Dead to Me wherever you get your podcasts.
Greg Jenner 0:46
Thank you. Bye.
Stuart Maconie 0:51
You're about to listen to Intimacy, the latest series of Ark.

What happens when Liza's film rehearsal is interrupted by an unexpected visitor?

Narrator / Credits (Unknown) 1:18
This episode contains strong language and sexual content. Intimacy, episode five.
Greg Jenner 1:40
Roll on rehearsal, please. Eyes on this, Gary.
Kate (Thaddea Graham) 1:43
Rolling. Camera set. Set. And action. Liza, Liza, I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I tried.
Liza (Lena Headey) 1:53
I delayed as much as I could. Listen, listen, don't apologise.
Mum (Alison Steadman) 1:55
My mother is... Liza.
Liza (Lena Headey) 2:00
Oh, here we go. The human root canal.
Mum (Alison Steadman) 2:04
Wow, I can't believe... Shh. Oh, sorry, yes, yes. OK, to explain the rules, I have to be quiet.
Narrator / Credits (Unknown) 2:11
Yes, your mum was really desperate.
Mum (Alison Steadman) 2:12
Yeah, you should have just waited, Mum. Yeah. Oh, fuck. Oh, that was like a hug from a wet lettuce.
Liza (Lena Headey) 2:24
Yeah. How's Ruby, Mum?
Mum (Alison Steadman) 2:26
Oh, she sends her love to her favourite absent parent. Oh, of course. Wow. Shh, Mum. Oh, look at that, both naked. Oh, my God, look at him. Oh, those hips. Shh, shh, shh.
Yuck.
Liza (Lena Headey) 2:42
How does all this work, then? It's a closed set, Mum. That's why everyone's naked. You're going to have to leave with Kate now.
Gary (Tom Goodman‑Hill) 2:51
Off you go. I can hear talking. I can't do this if there's a distraction. Dad, can we cut? Yes, cut. What the... Hello. Well, who's this? I'm sorry, we weren't expecting visitors.
Mum (Alison Steadman) 3:07
Margaret Florence. What? That's not your name.
Gary (Tom Goodman‑Hill) 3:11
Dear Margaret Florence, I'm afraid you will have to leave.
Mum (Alison Steadman) 3:15
Oh, yes, of course. Oh, darling, I'm not here to interrupt greatness or be on camera.
Liza (Lena Headey) 3:22
Liar. She'd give her left lung to be on camera. Liza, my dear. Get around now.
Gary (Tom Goodman‑Hill) 3:29
You're breaking your own rules.
Liza (Lena Headey) 3:31
Yeah.
Gary (Tom Goodman‑Hill) 3:33
Lovely to meet you, Margaret.
Liza (Lena Headey) 3:36
Still not her name.
Gary (Tom Goodman‑Hill) 3:37
Alex, I need you over here.
Mum (Alison Steadman) 3:39
Oh, wow. Isn't he charming? I'll just put her in the corridor.
Liza (Lena Headey) 3:44
Thank you. Is there a pool? To look at or get in, Mum?
Mum (Alison Steadman) 3:48
I wasn't fortunate enough.
Liza (Lena Headey) 3:50
To have swimming lessons at school, yeah, I know.
Mum (Alison Steadman) 3:52
Yeah, I just like fiddling in the shallow bit.
Kate (Thaddea Graham) 3:56
Oh, lovely, lovely. Why do you follow me? Margaret Florence, we shall fiddle in the shallow end this way. Oh, darling, thank you.
Mum (Alison Steadman) 4:02
I'm so excited to be here. It's wonderful. So excited about you.
Yay.
Mum (Alison Steadman) 4:08
I feel at home on set.
Oh, yeah.
Liza (Lena Headey) 4:11
You should try it. Don't encourage her, Kate. Jesus, she'll never leave. I need her to leave. Right, just get in, get out. Don't engage in the wind-up. Fingers crossed she's napping after fiddling it up in the shallow end. fast asleep on the bed nurse ratchet in a tiger prince swimming costume let me see if i can make it to the bathroom be quiet tiptoe oh from this angle she looks like she could possess a maternal bone she's holding my t-shirt i think she's smiling oh god i'll have to share the bed with her
Mum (Alison Steadman) 5:06
Oh, the wonder of return.
Liza (Lena Headey) 5:09
Oh, God, it was a long day.
Mum (Alison Steadman) 5:11
Where will I sleep? There's only one bed.
Liza (Lena Headey) 5:13
Did she read my mind? Because there's only meant to be me in it. I said no to a visit, Mum. You said no to Ruby because she has school. I don't have school.

How does Liza react when her mother appears on the closed set and breaks the rules?

Liza (Lena Headey) 5:23
Really? Look, this job is a lot. And I don't have time to look after you, Margaret Florence.
Mum (Alison Steadman) 5:29
What the... I'm on holiday. I can be anyone I like. And someone once told me I look like Anne Margaret.
Oh.
Mum (Alison Steadman) 5:36
Rubes!
Ruby (Tia Bannon) 5:38
Hi, Mum.
Liza (Lena Headey) 5:39
Is your friend there? Yep. Let me put you on speaker.
Ruby (Tia Bannon) 5:41
I've got my period.
Mum (Alison Steadman) 5:44
Oh, do you have stuff at your dad's? I had a very late menopause. You will be fertile for a while, Ruby.
Ruby (Tia Bannon) 5:51
Lucky.
Mum (Alison Steadman) 5:52
Mum, stop talking. People with interesting things to say talk a lot.
Ruby (Tia Bannon) 5:57
Yeah, I have stuff, Mum. Could just deal with a you hug, that's all.
Liza (Lena Headey) 6:01
Oh, I miss you, Ruby.

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