Newcastle United's Premier League form has nosedived; actually, it's worse than that, it has come to an abrupt halt, set itself alight, all the wheels have fallen off, and it's sitting in the middle of the runway covered in soot.The situation feels impossible, the damage irrepairable; but is it? We break the club up into three areas of investigation; the ownership, the manager, and the team. Then we try to decide whether each of them can be fixed or needs replacing.With a trip to Arsenal this weekend something will have to change pretty sharp-ish or Saka-absence, nervous Emirates, sudden unexpected heat-death of the Universe, there's nothing that can save us from a serious beating.

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“What did the council decide on item 42?” — answered with the speaker and the moment.

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