Chapter 1: What is discussed at the start of this section?
This is an iHeart Podcast. Guaranteed human. I'm Bailey Taylor, and this is It Girl. This podcast is all about going deeper with the women-shaping culture right now. Yes, we will talk about the style and the success, but we are also talking about the pressure, the expectations, and the real work behind it all.
As a woman in the industry, you're always underestimated, so you have to work extra hard in a way that doesn't compromise who you are and your integrity. You know, I like to say I was kind of like a silent ninja.
Listen to It Girl with Bailey Taylor on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
Ten, ten shots fired in City Hall building. How could this have happened in City Hall? Somebody tell me that. A shocking public murder. This is one of the most dramatic events that really ever happened in New York City politics. I screamed, get down, get down. Those are shots. A tragedy that's now forgotten. And a mystery. That may or may not have been political. That may have been about sex.
Listen to Rorschach, Murder at City Hall on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
I'm Lori Siegel, and on my new podcast, Mostly Human, I'll take you to some wild corners of the tech world. I'm about to go on a date with an AI companion at a real world cafe right here in New York City.
There's no playbook for what to do when an AI model hallucinates a story about you.
Mostly Human is your playbook for how tech can work for you.
Anyone can now be an entrepreneur. Anyone can build an app. And it's very empowering.
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Chapter 2: How does Deante' Kyle describe his rise to podcasting fame?
They're going to spin that narrative, too. And it's like, for me, that's my life. She don't even want to be perceived like that. You know what I'm saying? She good. You know what I'm saying? So why we... I think niggas do that to validate something else within themselves. I don't need no validation like that. How has y'all's relationship changed since you have... Nigga, this shit crazy.
It's a 180 for real. Because, like, driving trucks, shit, you be gone a lot. So our communication game was crazy because it's like, that shit, that's all you got. I call in like 36, 48 hours and I'm back out of there. But that also was the thing with... I was like, I need to get up out of it.
That's when, to y'all point about what made you start, it's like, if I'm buzzing like this on the internet, I could parlay this into something. And a lot of people wanted to hear me speak in longer form. So it's like, shit, everybody do these podcasts, but like, ain't nobody talking about shit for real. Yeah. And a lot of them folks guest center, and people tune in for me.
So it's like, shit, it's this comedian I watch named Tim Dillon. He do his shit, Dolo.
Ooh.
And, like, he got his people on the side that, like... He got, like, a... I guess, like, a peanut gallery, so to speak. People that he converts with. But it's really centered around him. So I was like, shit, I can do that. And that shit just took off. Yeah. Because I was like, I don't feel like being... I'm cool with being in charge. I don't know if I want to do this shit in, like, 20 years.
Right, yeah. You know what I'm saying? My granddaddy did that shit for, like, 30 years. So I already... They give you back problems. You hear me?
What shit?
They give you back problems and the side of their face... It messes up the side of your face from the sun coming in. Really? Uh-huh. Also, a thing that people don't talk about is how isolating it is. So you pick up traits of being institutionalized. Because you by yourself so late. You by yourself a lot. So you eat by yourself. You spend a lot of time alone.
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Chapter 3: What challenges does Deante' Kyle face with online backlash?
And so, like, you know, all my family got smoked from that shit. Because I was like, y'all niggas are complicit. Y'all a gaslighting nigga for 30 years down there. That's crazy.
That's so crazy.
I can't believe you found out so late. So late, yeah. Yeah, but I mean, you know, my mom like a matriarch of the family. Yeah. She very important. Nobody wanted to go against her. And then I think It's a complex thing. Like, you know, I can't make them decisions for people. I can't undo them decisions. And I think a lot of times with women, we don't address, like,
how, you know, how, like, touchy and vulnerable they can be around, like, having womb issues. I mean, that's how they make us feel. If you... You are a woman because we can bear children. You know what I'm saying? If you are meant to create life, so it's like, if you can't, they all... If you are a certain age and you don't have children, oh, what's wrong with her?
I think the thing is, is, like, that caused a big fracture in my parents' relationship, which eventually ended up in them being divorced. So, I think... Yeah, man, you know, I'm a real, like, put-myself-in-other-people's-shoes type person. It took me a long time to get there. Yeah.
But I think I was mature enough when I found out that I could, like, really process the situation in full, like... But I also... didn't shy away from my anger about this shit either. And, like, you know, I have family members I literally just started back talking to.
Same.
I stopped talking to a lot of people, too, when I initially found out. Yeah, I was like, y'all don't support shit. Y'all niggas ain't play with my life like that, bro. Because how can y'all keep this secret from me? Like, and you just feel like, damn, is everybody conspiring against me? Because how everybody else knew this shit? And I'm the only one in the dark about it, you know?
And, I mean, y'all been having, like, you know what I'm saying? I go in the other room, it's like, hey, stop talking about this. Yeah, yeah, be quiet when you walk in the room.
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Chapter 4: How does Deante' Kyle's identity impact his views on Black culture?
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So I was saying, like, I see two sides of it. Because sometimes I see, like, light-skinned people will be like, oh, we were treated differently because I'm so beautiful and I'm so light-skinned. And, like, y'all don't understand the struggle of being light-skinned because y'all be treating me like this because, oh, my gosh, I can't help it. I have green eyes and I have this soft 3B hair.
Oh, the struggle. Okay. You know what I'm saying? So it's like sometimes it's kind of like it's a little disconnect. I think there's an aspect of this where we don't look at it from all sides. We just look at it from the vantage point that maybe make us the most comfortable or best suit the narrative that racism and colorism affect everybody.
Mm-hmm.
All black people. So just like you can have a dark-skinned black person that hate black people, you have a dark-skinned black person that love their blackness. You have a light-skinned black person that hate black people, you're going to have a light-skinned person that love blackness. Same thing go with mixed folks. Same thing will go with everybody.
It's a very... It affects us all in different ways. You understand what I'm saying? The way it makes some niggas militant is the same way it makes some niggas timid and docile. Yeah. So it's going to affect everybody in different ways. I think that, of course, if you look at...
If you're going to look at the civil rights movement, if you're going to look at Black Panther movement, Black empowerment movements at all, it's always going to be men-centered first. A lot of times, you're going to be lighter-skinned men, your Malcolm Xs, your Huey P. Newtons, but you're also going to have your Stokely Carmichaels.
You're going to have women that's listened to, but not your darker-skinned women. You're going to have your Angela Davises and whoop, whoop, whoop. But it's going to exist in, like, a spectrum of things. I'm Rosalyn. I mean, but that's what they said. They put Rosa in the front and this is not discrediting her. But it was a darker skinned woman that actually took that play.
You know what I'm saying? So I think that black people are always having PR in mind too. We always want to like, kind of dictate the way we're perceived. And, you know, that shit come with your own colorist bias or your own internalized racism and anti-blackness. I'ma speak like this even if niggas didn't know me. So the thing is, is like... Yeah, shit. I mean, nigga, I love our community.
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Chapter 5: What challenges do women face in online discussions about age and relationships?
But... When I get online and I'm popping my shit and I'm talking, I'm having fun with my homegirl, and we're successful women, there's men in the comments like, oh, but she's single, she's not married, she don't have no kids. This is why you got to get them when they 22, 23. And it'll be a 40-year-old man saying this.
A 40-year-old man who should... I should be the type of woman that he's trying to court. But instead, you're like, mm, this is you's baggage.
Chapter 6: How does the infantilization of Black men affect societal expectations?
She's you, she's dirt. Let me go get a 22-year-old. Okay, well, here's the thing. You want somebody young and dumb because then you promote them into being, like, the type of woman, like, that perfect whatever, that don't question me, don't challenge me, don't hold me accountable. A grown woman that took care of herself, went through her own trials and tribulations, a different standard.
And I may expect you to be on the same grown-up standard as me. And our culture infantilizes black men, so... When we talking about mass incarceration of black men, these men is going into prison from anywhere from 15 to 24. And when you go in, you're not acclimated to society, so you also are not becoming an adult the same way niggas on the street is becoming adults. Right.
Street culture is very infantilized. What they tell you about hip-hop, all this shit is geared towards the attention of young people. So you got niggas that's 40 years old that still dress like a 20-year-old. Ooh, I hate to see it in a mirror.
Chapter 7: What are the implications of predatory behavior in society?
But you understand what I'm saying? What? You got a cane? And you got a Miriam? Let me shot it up. Change! Let me shot it up with Licks, too. Take it off! Can I shot it up with Licks? You in a fucking... You got a walker with tennis balls at the end of it. The thing is, is that... But you think you got that shit on. It's not necessarily like... I'm not putting niggas down.
I just need to understand what the situation is. Like, you've been infantilized. So you haven't been... held to an expectation to grow at the same rate as other men in this society. Right. Most men at 35 is thinking about family, is thinking about business, is thinking about structural things towards the future and not thinking about, like, what their relationship to young women is.
I don't even want to talk to a woman that don't got a three in her age. Come on now. I'm 35, bro. Like, get away from me.
Chapter 8: How do cultural perceptions shape the portrayal of Black and white pornography?
You know what I'm saying? And the thing is, is, like... I understand, like, the maturity of things, 27, 28, 29. Like, yeah, we probably could hold each other's attention and have a certain conversation. But then think about this.
If you don't got no kids, you ain't never been married before, then we definitely don't got nothing to talk about because my experience in life is just completely different for yours. You don't got no kids. You ain't trying to be no stepmom.
And one of the main things, too, that a lot of... I mean... But if you're talking to a woman that's my same age and she don't got kids, she might have already had this conversation like, okay, any man I meet from here forward, he gonna have kids. If I want to be with a nigga that's a good dad, I have to take on a stepmother role.
Right, exactly.
This is a thing that come with maturity. Like, I think... what the fuck? Like, I got little cousins that's 20, 21, 22. I don't like talking to these niggas like that. Right, yeah. Because it's like, it's not that I don't love them, it's just our conversation is so different.
It's so different.
And so it's like, what the fuck? These, predatory behavior is so normalized. Pedophiles are protected. They run in the country. Niggas that... You dig what I'm saying? This is a protected class of people. It's a protected class of people.
We don't talk about the amount of little boys and little girls that are molested when they're growing up and protected and got to be around these niggas that did this shit to them or women that did this shit to them and everybody acting like ain't nothing happened. So when you see a nigga talking like that, he understand how normalized predatory behavior is.
Of course, like, he... It's legal, right? You dig what I'm saying? So a nigga look at that like, well, I ain't saying nothing wrong. She 22, she grown. Nigga, you not better than that. And that's what I was going to say. What you been doing at 22? Right. And that's what I was going to say. To me, it's like borderline a predatory fetish.
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