Transition: Bulls have already won too many games to truly tank
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What role does eminent domain play in sports team ownership?
The city should use eminent domain to take control of the team. It's the Chicago Bears. Bears.
Eminent domain to take the team? I mean, I've heard of some land plays. How do you get to the team, Mike?
I mean, the CPD, that's what, like a 3,000 strong personal private army that the mayor controls?
How do the Chicago Bears influence local sports discussions?
What are they going to do? It's the government.
That man saw the Dark Knight Rises one too many times.
Where do we even begin with that?
You don't have to. It began and ended.
Yes, yes, yeah. And for everybody who then replied in response on our text line that that is the meatball take of the year. It's early in 2026, but I'm willing to put it up. I'm willing to put it on the board.
Leader in the clubhouse.
Yeah, like it's going to be hard to top. That is for sure. Imminent domain to take the team.
Eminent domain. Yeah, it wasn't Emino domain to build a stadium. It was just like, let's take the whole team. Wait, what? Eminem domain? Not Eminem domain.
That'd be more plausible.
I am pro Eminem domain. And I mean, not the artists, but the actual candy.
The peanut M&M is one of the world's perfect junk food inventions.
Not perfect.
I'm sorry. I'm sorry to all those who cannot have peanuts. I apologize.
Thank you.
That's what makes it not perfect.
Yeah, it's true. Fair enough. But you know what? Strangely enough, I think Speaks likes the exclusivity, the gatekeeping there. Can't quite be around those peanuts, huh? More for me.
The peanut butter one.
Excellent. But some people don't like peanut butter. It's true.
The pretzel has kind of disappeared. I don't like the pretzel. I loved it.
What are the implications of the Chicago Bulls' recent performance?
I thought it needed a little bit more chocolate.
That's what I'm saying. It's too much pretzel to chocolate ratio.
This came up in my group chat the other day because someone just discovered the Uncrustables addiction that the NFL has. Delish. Is it an addiction or just a very satisfactory? It's the usage. It's unbelievable the amount of Uncrustables the NFL goes through. When I was championing the Uncrustables, and I mentioned peanut M&M's, but really that Heinz ketchup. is a perfect recipe that cannot be matched. Wait, wait, what? Heinz ketchup.
You can't get a better brand of ketchup.
There is no substituting for Heinz ketchup.
I've tried others. You're right. You're right. It always comes back to Heinz. You always come back.
You'll appreciate this, then, Speaks. When I lived in Pittsburgh for two and a half years, I stayed at the Heinz Lofts, which was literally a Heinz factory that they gutted out and turned into apartments. That sounds good. It was amazing.
What snacks do the hosts consider perfect for sports fans?
Was it cool? It was so cool. Is there ketchup? All the ketchup you could drink? It's the best place I've ever lived. No, there's no more ketchup left because they gutted the ketchup. Need a pump? Need a pump? Need a pump? Ketchup. Not a pump. Ketchup.
Ketchup.
They should have had a pump downstairs, though. You just load up with little baskets and take the ketchup back upstairs. The little Wendy's cups. Yeah, man. I love the little cups. Oh, those are one of the greatest inventions, by the way. The ketchup that's not in a packet, but you can peel it and make it a dip, or you can squeeze it out, either or.
All right, so the category is perfect corporate food creations that are successful for valid, infallible reasons.
Hellman's. I'd go Hellman's Man. You'd go Hellman's Man? Yeah. I've tried others. Always comes back to Hellman's. Yeah. Little Debbie Donut Sticks.
That's a very specific call. Is there competition?
Well, in the donut stick racing of the 1970s.
I don't even think the donut stick is the best Lil Debbie product. I'm a Lil Debbie brownie guy. It might not be.
But that item is. That's a good item. That item has been consistent for 30 years. Consistently really good for 30 years. Something to be said about that.
How does the conversation shift to the NFL and Uncrustables?
Okay, that's fair. Sorry, Layla, did we cut you off in the middle of a... I just wanted to thank the people who helped make this show possible. Go ahead.
So thanks to Ray Diaz, Tyler Peterbaugh, Brandon Fryer, Connor O'Donnell, Jacob Stutz, Max Curtis. Thanks to our guests, Kaylin Kaler and Jack Silverstein.
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Chapters
5 chapters
1
What role does eminent domain play in sports team ownership?
0:01–0:21
2
How do the Chicago Bears influence local sports discussions?
0:21–1:48
3
What are the implications of the Chicago Bulls' recent performance?
1:48–2:42
4
What snacks do the hosts consider perfect for sports fans?
2:42–3:49
5
How does the conversation shift to the NFL and Uncrustables?
3:49–21:30
Speakers
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