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Self-talk, what you say to yourself internally, manifests itself in your outward attitude and actions. As any elite athlete will tell you, the mental games you play with yourself between your ears will make or break you. When all things are equal, mindset is one thing that separates winners and losers.
This is one of the reasons that I love golf so much. Once you understand the basic mechanics of the golf swing the only thing that really matters is mindset. On every shot your ability to focus, calm your mind, and remain mentally disciplined is the thin line between brilliance and disaster. Allow the wrong thoughts to creep in and before you know it you’ve shanked your shot into a water hazard.
You Become What You Think
In golf and in sales, you cannot afford the luxury of a negative thought.
Self-talk is crazy powerful. You become what you think. When you expect to win, you’ll win far more often than the person who believes they are going to lose. When you learn how to block out negative thoughts and inputs and remain focused on your process you’ll consistently out perform those who don’t.
Understanding this is crucial in these crazy times full of volatility, uncertainty, negativity and divisiveness. In this environment where everything can hit the fan in an instant on any given day, it is super easy to become mired in stinking thinking.
Beware of Stinking Thinking
Stinking thinking is the toxic inner soundtrack that loops in your head after a bad conversation with your boss, seeing a negative story on the news or social media, a lost deal, a bad quarter, or hitting five straight voicemails on cold calls. It’s every “Nobody answers the phone anymore,” “No one’s buying in this economy,” or “I’m just not cut out for sales.”line you feed yourself. It’s catastrophizing. It’s victim-talk.
Imagine the impact on your mindset when your internal conversation is constantly filled with negativity. It’s the mental equivalent of leaving a half-eaten tuna sandwich in your backpack for a week—eventually the smell becomes unbearable.
Mindset drives attitude, attitude drives behavior, and behavior drives outcomes. When stinking thinking settles in:
Your Reticular Activating System—the brain’s spam filter—starts looking for evidence you’re doomed, and sure enough, you find it.
Call reluctance skyrockets. You protect your fragile ego instead of filling the pipe and asking confidently for the sale.
Every “maybe” sounds like a “no,” every objection feels personal, and every tiny setback reinforces the lie that you’re stuck.
Left unchecked, that negative monologue becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. Your pipeline shrinks, numbers dip, confidence tanks, and pretty soon you’re blaming the market instead of owning the mirror.
Thoughts are Just Choices
The good news is that thoughts are just choices. You control your mindset. You have the ability to flip the switch from victim to driver. From rain barrel to rainmaker.
What you must never forget is that momentum follows mindset, not the other way around. Manage your self-talk and the results follow suit.
When your self-talk turns negative, take control and change it. Learn to replace negative self-talk with positive affirmations and statements. Get in the habit of looking in the mirror and answering the question: “What can I control right now?” Focus on that.
Knowing vs Doing
Now, here’s the rub, everybody knows self-talk matters. Socrates hammered on it. Marcus Aurelius journaled about it. Your grandmother probably told you to “stop being so negative.” The concept of mental discipline isn’t new, it’s universal.
But intellectual agreement and day-to-day execution are two very different zip codes. You can post quotes from every Stoic on LinkedIn and still spend the morning telling yourself, “I’ll never hit quota in this economy.” Knowledge without application is just trivia.
So flip the switch from knowing to doing. The instant a negative phrase spins in your head—“This deal is DOA,” “The client hates our price,” “I’m terrible at cold calls”—pause and label it: stinking thinking. Then replace that rotten thinking with a power statement tied to action. “I’m terrible with cold calls.” becomes “Each dial sharpens my skills and makes me stronger.”
Be ruthless about this exercise. Set an hourly chime on your phone if you have to. Negative thoughts are squatters; the longer they occupy space, the harder they are to evict. Kick them out in real time and your attitude will gain altitude.
The Trouble With Doom Scrolling
One of the challenges you face in today’s environment is that you’re under a constant barrage of negativity from external forces on social media, in your news feed, on coming through the speakers of your car. When you are reading, watching, listening to, and scrolling through negativity it will shape your mindset and self-talk
Attention is currency. News organizations and social media platforms make money by selling your attention to advertisers. They know that the easiest way to grab your attention is with bad news. Their entire apparatus is set up to take advantage of the way your brain works.
In the mornings you wake up and, like a moth to a flame, you are drawn to your phone. You roll over and open your news app or social media app. Instantly you are immersed in negativity. As you watch news, scroll through your news apps, and follow the chatter on social media you feel panic and fear. Your mind turns to the worst-case scenarios. Rather than focusing on what you can control, you dwell on doom and gloom.
Perhaps the most depressing aspect of modern society is the news. Disaster is always the story of the day. As they say: “If it bleeds it leads.” Spending an hour watching a cable news channel or scrolling through a social media feed will leave you in need of an antidepressant and a therapist. And the more you watch, the more addictive it becomes.
So stop. Turn it off. Put your phone down. Right now. Putting an end to this destructive and negative input will have an immediate, positive impact on your attitude. You will feel better and your belief system will strengthen.
8 Ways to Improve Your Mindset Right Now
Focus on what you can control. Here are eight things you can do right now to mind your mindset.
Block at least 15 minutes on your calendar every day for professional reading.
Listen to an audiobook while you take a walk or exercise.
Take an online course on Sales Gravy University.
Listen to motivational and professional podcasts. Podcasts are free and the content is amazing.
Spend 10 minutes each day in silence for spiritual contemplation or prayer. Get focused and anchor your mindset.
Exercise a minimum of 30 minutes every day. It doesn’t matter what you do. Just get up, get moving, and break a sweat.
Eat a well-balanced diet and never skip breakfast.
Go to bed early and get enough sleep.
Posture is a Shortcut to Mindset
One of the fastest attitude-adjustment hacks on the planet sits right on top of your spine. Stand up and roll those shoulders back. Plant your feet like you own the ground beneath them. Lift your chin so your eyes are on the horizon, not the floor.
Do that and—bang—your biochemistry follows orders. Cortisol (the stress hormone) drops, testosterone edges up, and your brain gets a fresh hit of confidence. Harvard research calls it “power posing.” I call it common sense. You can’t slouch like a question mark and expect to sell like an exclamation point.
The next time you’re about to dial a prospect, step out from behind the desk, stand tall, and smile so wide you can feel it in your ears. Your voice will warm up, your pace will steady, and the person on the other end will hear a pro who believes in their own value. Same thing before a big presentation or a tough negotiation—straighten up, breathe from the diaphragm, and let your body tell your mind, “We’ve got this.” Your prospects will feel the difference, and so will you.
Misery Wants You to Join the Team
It's also crucial that you understand that misery loves company, and it desperately wants you to join the team.
Picture a lone crabber easing across the bay at dawn. He hauls up a wire trap, shakes the catch into a five-gallon bucket, and keeps working his line.
Before long, one ambitious crustacean decides he’s not sticking around for the boiling pot. Claw over claw, he inches up the plastic wall—almost free. But every time he reaches the rim, the other crabs latch on and drag him back to the bottom. No escape. No hope. Everyone loses.
These days there is plenty of misery to go around. Miserable people whine about the economy, inflation, prospects, customers, too-few leads, and that no one is buying. They complain about the company, the commission plan, and the boss.
Negative, miserable people grab you with their claws and pull you down into the bucket with them. Pretty soon the words coming out of your mouth are negative too. You’ll start to believe that you are stuck in that bucket and there is no way out. You’ll begin to feel contempt for your company, customers, and boss.
Proximity is Power
You and your mindset are a composite of the people you spend the most time with. Hang out with people who have a negative mindset, and they’ll destroy yours.
Start by excusing yourself from negative conversations. Just walk away. Seek out people who build you up rather than tear you down. Connect with people who see opportunity in adversity.
Stick close to peers who bang out their call blocks every morning, the ones that consistently hit their number, the rainmakers who accept no excuses and believe that they alone control their destiny. Their pace becomes your pace. Their standards become your standards. Your mindset will quickly shift from impossible to possible.
Mindset and momentum have a tendency to rub off. Remember,