After Action Report #47

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Savage Lovecast 16 min 1 speaker 8 chapters transcribed 1 day ago
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Who is Rachel and what sparked her interest in a scheduled voyeur‑exhibition date?

Dan Savage 0:00
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Rachel 0:20
You're listening to After Action Report at Savage.luff.
Dan Savage 0:26
After Action Report. Welcome to After Action Report, where my listeners take two risks. First, they risk trying something new in bed or something new in South America or Berlin or Amsterdam. My listeners, they get around. And then second risk, they come here on the show and tell me and you all about it. This week, meet Rachel, who with a little planning and an assist from the internet created the hour of her dreams. Rachel, welcome to the show.
Rachel 0:53
Thank you so much. Uh thrilled to be here.
Dan Savage 0:55
Before we get to what you tried, what you wanted to share with the after action report audience, uh tell us a little bit about yourself, Rachel.
Rachel 1:02
I am a fifty-four-year-old straight cisgendered woman from upstate New York, divorced now ten years, and have dated and had some traditional monogamous partnerships, and I'm here to speak about a a date I had about a year and a half ago after joining a dating app that I had never heard of.
Dan Savage 1:23
Do you want to give the name of the dating app you'd never heard of or do you want to keep that on the down low?
Rachel 1:27
I mean everybody now knows it. Uh I don't know about everybody, but it is Field. Um but it was new to me uh in the spring of twenty twenty four.
Dan Savage 1:36
How was your experience of Field? I mean they do sometimes advertise, so this is a little weird because they are an advertiser. Yeah. But so many I'm one of the reasons we're so happy they advertise is so many of our listeners bring field up all the time unprompted. Because our listeners tend to be very sexually adventurous and they're looking for other people and field seems to be the go-to. Did you have a good experience?
Rachel 1:57
I I've had an incredible experience. I mean, there's a lot to say about online dating, right? Most of it not good. Uh, and this particular experience was a perfect storm of of interesting, good things that led me to be in a place of being interested in something new and different. And I would say the level of authenticity and genuine interest in exploring ourselves and one another has led to a lot of. of very interesting and fun and joyful experiences.

How did Rachel and her partner discover each other on the Field app?

Dan Savage 2:26
That is very gratifying to hear. That is a great endorsement. Better than any endorsement that I could give. All right. So what is it that you wanted to share? You had one particular experience you wanted to tell us about.
Rachel 2:36
So I I connected with somebody on the app who said very little. He said essentially that he was interested in exploring his newfound um interest in exhibitionism. And I was interested in exploring being a voyeur. And so I thought maybe our our interest would dovetail. And that's how I reached out to him and I said, Would you be interested in exploring this? And we did. Over the course of several weeks over the app, we we sort of iterated on uh a particular fantasy, and it was me watching him masturbate. And there was one of the more delightful things about this is that we didn't do any of the normal sort of getting to know you stuff. I didn't know where he went to high school or his mom's name. It was really only about like how and in what way was I going to watch him get off.
Rachel 3:24
And, you know, I, you know, the myth of like sex can only be, you know, sexy and interesting and hot if it's spontaneous, completely not true. The fact that we had like gamed out all of these different possibilities just sort of made the whole thing hotter. And I'm not even sure that we were gonna we knew uh that we were gonna do this in person, but at some point we decided like we we actually have to like see if we can pull this off. And so and so we did. We had landed on we didn't script out the whole thing, but we kind of like we took some things off the table, we put some things on the table, and we said, okay, this is when and where it's gonna happen.
Dan Savage 4:02
It's interesting that You didn't get to know him.

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