One of the key principles embedded in many models of sexual consent is that consent must be specific. In other words, you need to know exactly what it is that you’re saying yes to. This also means you need to know in advance what it is that you want. However, we often don’t know what we want when it comes to sex, which makes navigating this issue rather tricky for everyone, but especially for women. Consenting to that which is unknown can be highly erotic, but it can be really risky, especially when a partner’s ideas about what you might want turn out to be wrong. My guest today is Katherine Angel, author of the internationally acclaimed book, Tomorrow Sex Will Be Good Again. Her previous books include Daddy Issues and Unmastered: A Book on Desire, Most Difficult to Tell. She is a Senior Lecturer in the English department and a Fellow of the Institute of Humanities and Social Sciences at Queen Mary, University of London. Some of the topics we discuss include: Why isn’t consent enough when it comes to having good sex? How do individuals navigate expressing their desires when they might not know what they want, and also when there’s a risk of being shamed or judged for sharing them? What does it really mean to have good sex? Is it a realistic goal for sex to always be good? A lot of sex advice comes down to “be vulnerable.” But vulnerability can be terrifying to some. So how do we navigate this? How does sex ed need to change to help people grapple with the complexities of sex? Click here to learn more about Katherine. Thank you to our sponsors! Give the gift of pleasure with Beducated! They have a whole library of online courses to teach you what you need to know. Treat yourself or a loved one to a subscription this holiday season and get 40% off their yearly pass by using my last name – LEHMILLER – as the coupon code. Sign up now at: https://beducate.me/pd2303-lehmiller The Modern Sex Therapy Institutes is one of the leading sex therapy certification programs in the world, meets all AASECT certification requirements, has 12 other specialty certifications, and a Ph.D. program in Clinical Sexology. Visit modernsextherapyinstitutes.com to learn more. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

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“What did the council decide on item 42?” — answered with the speaker and the moment.

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