Something You Should Know
Why Revenge Is Seldom Worth It & What You Need to Know About Snakes
26 May 2025
Who's more likely to be healthier, tall or short people?
are the result of revenge seeking so we know that from vast public databases and law enforcement agencies now all generally agree and behavioral studies that almost every form of violence is the result of the perpetrator having felt victimized and now trying to make themselves feel better acting out neural circuitry of pleasure and reward seeking to make themselves feel better
And the last component is you have a prefrontal cortex in your brain, which is your executive function and control circuitry. And that's there to stop you from doing things that hurt yourself or other people.
In addiction, that circuitry is generally seen and believed to have been inhibited or hijacked so that you no longer have the clarity of decision making that you might have in a more calmer state.
Okay, so a couple of questions. In your example of the road rage and the escalating response to being cut off, is that the addiction? What's the addiction?
So the addiction is if you go after that driver, you swerve in front of them, you put yourself in harm's way, that driver in harm's way, and the other drivers around you in harm's way. and you couldn't control it. It wasn't a rational thought, it was compulsive. Compulsive revenge seeking is the addiction, and we see that throughout society. We see it in intimate partner relationships,
husband, wife, or otherwise, spouses, in which there's a continuation of seeking to retaliate over and over again, despite the serious damage it's doing to their relationship, to their family, to their kids.
So what's the difference between somebody who can get cut off and go, God, that jerk, and forget about it, versus the guy who... hits the accelerator and goes after the guy and does what you described. What's the difference between those two people?
Well, the first person who said, wow, that guy was a jerk, and then goes back to listening to their radio and driving normally, that person's in full control. He may or she may have fantasized a little bit for a while about all the deliciously cool things they'd like to do to that jerk, but they don't act on it. And they're safe and acting in the normally adaptive way.
But for many other people, maybe 20% of the population, they're going to escalate that, put themselves in harm's way, put other people in harm's way. And those people are struggling with a revenge addiction, which is, it feels good to retaliate, And just like any other addict who's an addict, you know, of alcohol, other narcotics, they're seeking that pleasure.
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