How do you measure success? Money? Conquests? Desires fulfilled? You know you’ve really made it when your name ends up in the dictionary describing a certain type of behaviour. An eponym is what we’d call it, if we were trying to sound intelligent. Which we are. So that’s what we’ll call it. Machiavellian, from Niccolò Machiavelli — describing someone willing to do nasty things in pursuit of an outcome. The end justifies the means. Real serpent behaviour and definitely nothing like the current moment we live in. Orwellian, from George Orwell — used to describe authoritarian control, surveillance, dystopian systems, and definitely nothing like the current moment we live in. Eithaning, from Eithan Osborne — coined by Dane Reynolds. A more contemporary addition to the discourse. Not yet recognised by major dictionaries, though give it time. Used to describe a specific type of erratic lineup behaviour that creates mass irritation, destroys all peace, and makes surfers question their instincts, positioning, and basic understanding of waves. We’ve long said Dane is at his best in these podcasts when he’s comfortable and sharing history with the guest, and this episode might be the clearest example yet. Fellow Ventura local, Chapter 11 affiliate, Stab High, Monster Air winner + Surf100 champ Eithan Osborne joins Dane and Dooma at the desk this week. The gents discuss Dane joining the local YMCA and being spotted curling his biceps, Former offering Eithan a deal before being outbid by Billabong, Eithan opening a wellness centre to repair his broken body, and plenty more. Whole lotta laffs in this one. Ep 16, enjoy.

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“What did the council decide on item 42?” — answered with the speaker and the moment.

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