The Baggage Reclaim Sessions
Episodes
Ep. 220: We're Allowed To Have Work Boundaries
09 Apr 2021
Contributed by Lukas
Boundaries are widely misunderstood, so it's no surprise that so many of us struggle to have that at work. Natalie dives into what it means to have wo...
Ep. 219: You Are Allowed To Rest
02 Apr 2021
Contributed by Lukas
Natalie delves into our messy relationship with rest, including acting as if we owe everyone our 'free time' to others and our fear of appearing 'lazy...
Ep. 218: Three Vulnerability Habits to Live By
26 Mar 2021
Contributed by Lukas
Natalie talks about the three vulnerability habits we all need to embrace: admitting what we don't know, admitting when we've made a mistake, and admi...
Ep 217: Trust Is a Gamble, but We Can Learn To Make Good Bets
19 Mar 2021
Contributed by Lukas
Natalie talks about shifting our relationship with trust to a healthy place, including recognising where some of the things we do to foster trust or '...
Ep. 216: The Truth About Breakups
12 Mar 2021
Contributed by Lukas
Natalie talks about why we need to shift our perception of what a breakup is and what it means about us so that we can let go of old stories and painf...
Ep. 215: Fear of Criticism Doesn't Have To Run Your Life
05 Mar 2021
Contributed by Lukas
Natalie talks about why we need to change our relationship with criticism so that we stop investing so much of ourselves into trying to control the un...
Ep. 214: We Don't Need To Put So Much Bandwidth Into Keeping Up Appearances
26 Feb 2021
Contributed by Lukas
Natalie talks about how we've been socialised to keep up appearances and why this pretence, whether it's about nothing being wrong or that who we are ...
Ep. 213: There's No Need to Try & Meet All of Your Needs On Your Own
19 Feb 2021
Contributed by Lukas
Sometimes we try to 'manage ourselves' too much instead of articulating a need or a boundary. Natalie shares her insights from a recent experience of ...
Ep. 212: People Can Be More Than One Thing
12 Feb 2021
Contributed by Lukas
Natalie explains why it's time to recognise that people can be more than one thing and stop denying, rationalising, minimising, excusing, assuming and...
Ep. 211: Too Good To Be True?
05 Feb 2021
Contributed by Lukas
Natalie explores the unease we experience when we believe that things seem a little or a lot too perfect and what we can learn from it Instagram | ...
Ep. 210: I am anxious about something
29 Jan 2021
Contributed by Lukas
Natalie shares how we can use our awareness of certain habits as a notification that we are anxious about *something* so that we can take better care ...
Ep. 209: The Compatibility Factor
22 Jan 2021
Contributed by Lukas
In the first episode of 2021, Natalie breaks down compatibility, our ability co-exist harmoniously with someone or something. Instagram | Break...
Ep. 208: Scope Creep Makes Your Boundaries Beep
11 Dec 2020
Contributed by Lukas
What does a project shifting dramatically, increased work responsibilities or hours beyond what was originally agreed, an overbearing and critical par...
Ep. 207: Let's Be More Truthful About Loneliness
04 Dec 2020
Contributed by Lukas
So many of us have been conditioned to feel shame about loneliness and to misunderstand what it is and why we and others experience it. Natalie talks ...
Ep. 206: Let's Wait Awhile
27 Nov 2020
Contributed by Lukas
Some of us are waiting to have sex. It might be until marriage, it might be until the relationship has reached a certain point, it might be that we ha...
Ep. 205: Four steps to assertively communicating what you want to do
20 Nov 2020
Contributed by Lukas
The trap that so many of us fall into when we recognise our discomfort or that we don't want to do something is having a passive response. Natalie sha...
Ep. 204: Let's Talk About Family Estrangement
13 Nov 2020
Contributed by Lukas
Natalie talks about a subject that many people grapple with but often feel ashamed. Even if estrangement isn't something you've dealt with, this episo...
Ep. 203: OK, But What Is Intimacy?
06 Nov 2020
Contributed by Lukas
Natalie does a deep dive into a subject that creates a level of discomfort in a lot of humans to answer a question that befuddles so many of us even t...
Ep. 202: Let's Talk About Sex
30 Oct 2020
Contributed by Lukas
It's 2020, and yet, so many of us have a confusing, complicated and even shameful relationship with sex that causes us to be and do things that don't ...
Ep. 201: Who were you 'getting to know' over those texts?
23 Oct 2020
Contributed by Lukas
While it isn't a new issue, disappointment about online interactions not blossoming into something bigger and better in real life seems to have been h...
Ep. 200: The One Where Nat and Em Hang Out
16 Oct 2020
Contributed by Lukas
To celebrate the 200th episode of the podcast (yay!), Natalie sits down for a chat with her very first guest (and the one who came up with the idea fo...
Ep. 199: Yes Isn't A 'Clean' Word If It's Not Authentic
09 Oct 2020
Contributed by Lukas
Natalie talks about why no isn't a dirty word and how it leads to saying yes to more of the people, things and opportunities that reflect who you real...
Ep. 198: Perfectionism and The Idealised Version of Ourselves
02 Oct 2020
Contributed by Lukas
We all have an idealised version of ourselves, an image that reflects perfection or that's certainly 'better' than reality. Natalie talks about how be...
Ep. 197: Code Amber and Red Alerts
25 Sep 2020
Contributed by Lukas
Ignoring or dismissing warning signs about a person or situation means that we ignore and dismiss ourselves. Natalie explains how categorising 'red fl...
Ep. 196: Taking Things Too Personally
18 Sep 2020
Contributed by Lukas
Sometimes we take things so personally that it derails us. We feel stuck in shame, rejection, rumination and resentment, and we might behave in ways t...
Ep. 195: When 'Nice' Covers Up Anger and Control
11 Sep 2020
Contributed by Lukas
Sometimes, how we feel on the inside doesn't match what we're doing on the outside. We act what we think is 'nice' as a way to suppress and repress ou...
Ep. 194: Let's Talk About Self-Sabotage
31 Jul 2020
Contributed by Lukas
Natalie explains why over-giving, over-responsibility, people-pleasing, perfectionism and overthinking are forms of self-sabotage. **Please note! Th...
Ep. 193: The Landmarks of Boundaried Communication
24 Jul 2020
Contributed by Lukas
Am I doing boundaries right? Is this an OK boundary for me to have? Natalie explains how we can use the landmarks of boundaried communication--compa...
Ep. 192: "I Guilt You So Much!"
17 Jul 2020
Contributed by Lukas
So many of us don't realise how we spend our lives doing things from a place of guilt. We think we're being noble and loving, but near-constantly feel...
Ep. 191: About Defining The Relationship
10 Jul 2020
Contributed by Lukas
Defining the relationship is something that so many people struggle with even though they want to know where they stand and hate ambiguity and the anx...
Ep. 190: Did I scare them off? Was it my Jedi mind tricks?
03 Jul 2020
Contributed by Lukas
Weeks, months or even years have gone by, and we're still seething or angsting over that foot we think we put wrong or what we imagine our oh-so-power...
Ep. 189: Let's Talk About Chemistry
26 Jun 2020
Contributed by Lukas
Chemistry, that hard-to-put-your-finger-on feeling that we experience (or think we do) with certain people is a relationship pothole that so many of u...
Ep. 188: The Landmarks of Healthy Relationships
19 Jun 2020
Contributed by Lukas
How do we distinguish a healthy relationship from an unhealthy one? Natalie explains the landmarks of healthy relationships: balance, commitment, cons...
Ep. 187: The Lather, Rinse, Repeat of the Frustrating Dating Cycle
12 Jun 2020
Contributed by Lukas
When promising chats and dates don't lead to the relationship we want and anticipated, we can feel stuck in a frustrating dating cycle. But what if wh...
Ep. 186: Following Through On Intentions & Words With Action
05 Jun 2020
Contributed by Lukas
Natalie expands on a video she shared on Instagram to explain how to match your actions with your intentions and words during this time of increased a...
Ep. 186: Let's Talk About Gaslighting
29 May 2020
Contributed by Lukas
There was a time when people thought that gaslighting was something that occurred purely within the context of abusive relationships, but it's far mor...
Ep. 184: 'Why Am I Feeling OK?' and Other Worries
22 May 2020
Contributed by Lukas
Natalie explores four common responses to the pandemic that people are grappling with: Why am I feeling OK?, Why am I not OK?, Why am I so angry?, and...
Ep. 183: Normal People and Casual Relationships
15 May 2020
Contributed by Lukas
When Natalie mentioned on Instagram Stories that she was loving the TV adaption of Sally Rooney's novel, Normal People, she received a flurry of repli...
Ep. 182: Your 'Worthiness' Isn't To Blame
14 May 2020
Contributed by Lukas
What if having your needs and wants met has absolutely nothing to do with how worthy you are and whether you 'deserve' it? Natalie shares a recent lig...
Ep. 181: Unsatisfactory Endings and Closing The Story Loop
01 May 2020
Contributed by Lukas
Humans don't like unsatisfactory endings, hence why we feel as if we're left hanging by the sudden cancellation of a TV series or a dodgy ending. Nata...
Ep.180: Time For A Second (Or Umpteenth) Chance?
24 Apr 2020
Contributed by Lukas
When someone shows us who they are, they're showing us their values. If that's different to who we are and where we want to go, we have to acknowledge...
Ep. 179: Better The Devil You Know?
17 Apr 2020
Contributed by Lukas
When an ex who didn't treat us with love, care, trust and respect starts saying 'all the right things', it's all-too-easy to be nostalgic. Before we p...
Ep. 178: About Allowing You To Feel Angry
10 Apr 2020
Contributed by Lukas
So many of us struggle with giving ourselves permission to feel our feelings, especially when it comes to anger. Natalie talks about why allowing ours...
Ep. 177: Discomfort and the Time-Off Thermostat
03 Apr 2020
Contributed by Lukas
What's your tolerance for discomfort, boredom or time out from your typical routine? Natalie talks about our discomfort with having time and space, es...
Ep. 176: Voicing Issues To Be Better Than Before
27 Mar 2020
Contributed by Lukas
Natalie revisits the topic of improving communication in our intimate relationships. When we recognise that we're experiencing an issue or that we nee...
Ep. 175: Hard Resets, Anxiety and Corona Miracles with Exes
20 Mar 2020
Contributed by Lukas
What do you do when you feel as if your whole world has been turned upside down? Well, that's something that a lot of us are feeling right now. Natali...
Ep. 174: Let's Not Be Cool With Taking Advantage Or Being Taken Advantage Of
13 Mar 2020
Contributed by Lukas
Sometimes we find ourselves in a situation where it becomes apparent that we're not taking the best care of ourselves, but also, that the other party ...
Ep. 173: It's Time To Talk About Stonewalling
06 Mar 2020
Contributed by Lukas
Have you ever experienced stonewalling in a relationship (or possibly engaged in it yourself)? In another episode about understanding and improving co...
Ep. 172: It's Okay To Not Know What You Want
21 Feb 2020
Contributed by Lukas
Natalie talks about why not knowing what you want doesn't have to mean something terrible and why it's going to be tricky to listen to what you want i...
Ep. 171: Waiting For The Other Shoe To Drop
14 Feb 2020
Contributed by Lukas
Meeting someone new sometimes causes us to become preoccupied with answering the question 'Are you trustworthy?' When things are going well in an area...
Ep. 170: Conflict & The Five Stages of Relationships
07 Feb 2020
Contributed by Lukas
Something that makes so many of us nervous is navigating conflict within romantic relationships. Natalie revisits her five stages of relationship fram...
Ep. 169: 'They journal/meditate/do yoga/go to therapy. Shouldn't they be more emotionally intelligent?'
31 Jan 2020
Contributed by Lukas
Some people feel confused, angry and hurt when their relationship doesn't work out because they believed that the person 'should' have delivered becau...
Ep. 168: Lessons From Freaking Out
24 Jan 2020
Contributed by Lukas
Have you ever freaked out about something, noticed that you are, continued to freak out somewhat, but then calmed down? That's what happened to Natali...
Ep. 167: Beep Me 911 - Why didn't you text back?
17 Jan 2020
Contributed by Lukas
Texting anxiety has become increasingly prevalent over the years. Between read receipts, being able to see if they're online or when they were last on...
Ep. 166: We've Got To Stop Pumping People Up With Our Great Expectations
10 Jan 2020
Contributed by Lukas
Trying to get something or someone to live up to the picture we painted in our mind can be a great source of hurt for us humans. It's something we hav...
Ep. 165: Acceptance Is The Way Through
20 Dec 2019
Contributed by Lukas
Natalie gets ready for her Christmas break and the new year and decade ahead by sharing her thoughts on the gift of acceptance. Instagram | Events...
Ep. 164: Am I In The Right Job?
13 Dec 2019
Contributed by Lukas
So many people wonder if they're in the right relationship, but plenty wonder if they're in the right job. Given how much time we spend at work, it's ...
Ep. 163: Keeping Up With Comparison Part Two
06 Dec 2019
Contributed by Lukas
In the second of this two-part episode (part one), Natalie shares ideas for breaking the cycle of comparison. Instagram | Events | Blog | Members...
Ep. 162: Keeping Up With Comparison Part One
29 Nov 2019
Contributed by Lukas
Do you feel inadequate around certain people or suddenly feel as if your life that you're normally happy with is like poop beside theirs? Do you come ...
Ep. 161: The Secret Sauce of Being You Is The Remedy For Life's Challenges
22 Nov 2019
Contributed by Lukas
All humans desire acceptance the most, but a hell of a lot of us are scared of the real us being rejected and so we struggle to be ourselves. But this...
Ep. 160: Interest In Someone or Something is a Hypothesis
15 Nov 2019
Contributed by Lukas
Have you given you a hard time about interested in something or someone that turned out to be wrong for you? Or, has someone's change of interest in y...
Ep. 159: Feeling Stressed Or Overwhelmed Isn't An Inconvenience; It's Help
08 Nov 2019
Contributed by Lukas
If you've ever been self-critical because you're stressed or feeling overwhelmed or low-energy, it's time to pay attention to these messages from your...
Ep. 158: It's Not That You're Not 'Good Enough' -- You're Over-Responsible
01 Nov 2019
Contributed by Lukas
Tend to be hard on you and, for example, struggle to ask for help, feel like a burden, feel guilty for saying no, being you or having boundaries, or f...
Ep. 157: 'Damaged Goods' & Relationship Experience
26 Oct 2019
Contributed by Lukas
When we think that we (or others) are 'damaged goods' because of what might be a lack of relationship experience or time spent in unhealthy or unfulfi...
Ep. 156: "I didn't want to pass up an opportunity."
18 Oct 2019
Contributed by Lukas
What's the similarity between engaging with an ex who didn't treat us very well, feeling burnt out and resentful after taking on extra work, and delib...
Ep. 155: Evolving Our Relationship With Our Feelings
11 Oct 2019
Contributed by Lukas
Do you hoard, clamp, shoot, get chatty, deny/mask or cry when you need to deal with uncomfortable feelings. Natalie follows up on the previous episode...
Ep. 154: Why Don't We Express Our Feelings?
04 Oct 2019
Contributed by Lukas
Expressing our feelings, not just to others, but also to ourselves, is crucial to our emotional, mental, physical and spiritual wellbeing as well as t...
Ep. 153: Are They Being Unfair and Unreasonable?
27 Sep 2019
Contributed by Lukas
When people ask or expect you to do something, or you're wondering whether there's a boundary issue, do you question whether you are being fair and re...
Ep. 152: Playing Matchmaker, Being Set Up, & Recommendations
20 Sep 2019
Contributed by Lukas
If you've ever played matchmaker and had it backfire, or you've felt confused after being set up or recommending somebody, today's episode is for you....
Ep. 151: Why Don't They Like Me????
13 Sep 2019
Contributed by Lukas
How do you feel when you realise or sense that someone doesn't like you? If intrusive thoughts about this have popped up more than you would like and ...
Summer Interlude
02 Aug 2019
Contributed by Lukas
Natalie does a quick catch-up before going on her summer break until September. Instagram | Events | Blog | Membership
Ep. 150: Are You Afraid of Listening To Yourself?
26 Jul 2019
Contributed by Lukas
If you hardly knew somebody and something felt off, would you dismiss what you were sensing, seeing or hearing, or would you pay attention? Well, if l...
Ep. 149: There's No Shame In Having Needs
19 Jul 2019
Contributed by Lukas
So many people experience shame around having needs, which is like being ashamed of breathing! Natalie delves into emotional needs and the importance ...
Ep. 148: I'm Not Taking Your Put-Down Lying Down!
12 Jul 2019
Contributed by Lukas
Ever had somebody say something to you that *seems* like it's supposed to be taken as a compliment, but it's totally not? Or, have you been in a situa...
Ep. 147: On Fear of Being Alone
05 Jul 2019
Contributed by Lukas
Many of us have some level of fear of being alone, and when this drives us, it leads to some pretty painful and dubious choices. Is being with ourselv...
Ep. 146: Are You On a Slip 'n Slide With Your Boundaries?
28 Jun 2019
Contributed by Lukas
When things don't go according to plan and we feel baffled by someone's behaviour or the outcome, retracing our steps will inevitably reveal the slipp...
Ep. 145: Stage 0-1 of Relationships & The Recruiter Mindset
21 Jun 2019
Contributed by Lukas
There are 5 stages of relationships, and stages 0-1 set the foundation for what lies ahead (or doesn't). Natalie talks about the parallels between dat...
Ep. 144: Are Your Desires (& Pressure) Programming Or Preference?
14 Jun 2019
Contributed by Lukas
Natalie explores why so many of us don't realise that the pressure we feel to be or do certain things isn't always about what we actually want. Often ...
Ep. 143: It's Time To Update Your Self-Image
07 Jun 2019
Contributed by Lukas
When Natalie had to train for the 2018 London Marathon in less than four months, it didn't take long before she realised that she was employing lesson...
Ep. 142: Why Can't I Get Them To Commit?
31 May 2019
Contributed by Lukas
How good do you feel about yourself and a relationship if it feels like you had to campaign or even hound your partner into committing? Yeah... exactl...
Ep. 141: The Overempathy Trap
24 May 2019
Contributed by Lukas
Do you know the difference between empathy and overempathy? Well, if you feel as if you've been burned by rescuing or helping, or you've stayed in sit...
Ep. 140: What's With All The Lies?
17 May 2019
Contributed by Lukas
Have someone's lies baffled you because you thought that it was so ridiculous or unnecessary or that it was undeserved given how much effort you've pu...
Ep. 139: The Baggage Behind Your Break-Up Habits
10 May 2019
Contributed by Lukas
Do you know where you learned your break-up habits? It's safe to say that it wasn't on the curriculum at school. Old memories and associations, especi...
Ep. 138: Why Are Some People So Averse To Respecting Other People's Boundaries?
03 May 2019
Contributed by Lukas
For many of us, the idea of willfully crossing somebody's boundaries sends a shiver through us. In fact, we'll often cross our own boundaries to accom...
Ep. 137: The Lean Period
26 Apr 2019
Contributed by Lukas
A key factor in people feeling stuck in a painful situation or stuck obsessing about what went down is an extended period prior to the events of being...
Ep. 136: All Is Forgiven?
19 Apr 2019
Contributed by Lukas
Many of us find it difficult to let go of past situations whether it's about our actions or those of others. It's not that we don't want to per se, bu...
Ep. 135: In The Beginning... There Were Blind Spots
12 Apr 2019
Contributed by Lukas
Natalie talks about blind spots and why we've got to stop clinging to assumptions about what a relationship-worthy person looks like (hint: it's more ...
Ep. 134: Did you just shut down my boundary?
05 Apr 2019
Contributed by Lukas
Ever felt as if you did wrong by asserting a boundary because the other party didn't respond positively or you didn't get what you wanted? Well, havin...
Ep. 133: The Growth of Grief
29 Mar 2019
Contributed by Lukas
It's been two years since Natalie's father passed away. In this week's episode, she talks about how grief, something that we go through when we experi...
Ep. 132: Fear of Sacrifice, Loss & Being Trapped
22 Mar 2019
Contributed by Lukas
So many people who have a frustrating pattern are unaware that they're driven by negative and contradictory associations with love, relationships, suc...
Ep. 131: The Trouble With 'Well-Meaning' Bad Advice
15 Mar 2019
Contributed by Lukas
Did you know that three days before Natalie met Em, she broke it off with a guy that she'd been dating for three weeks? She would have finished it soo...
Ep. 130: Dating Anxiety
08 Mar 2019
Contributed by Lukas
A challenge that often presents itself while dating is the struggle to stay hopeful and grounded while pursuing our need or desire for a relationship....
Ep. 129: Things That Make You Go Hmmm
01 Mar 2019
Contributed by Lukas
Does someone really need to do the equivalent of giving us a one-star review by going out of their way to make us aware of their dislike of us? Do we ...
Ep. 128: I Want To Break Free
22 Feb 2019
Contributed by Lukas
Are you feeling typecast by your experiences and pattern? A role is a job or function that we take on within our interpersonal relationships in order ...
Ep. 127: Bark Like A Dog?
15 Feb 2019
Contributed by Lukas
When you go on dates or are in a relationship, who is it that shows up? Is it you, the whole you and nothing but you? Or, is it your representative, t...
Ep. 126: I 'Failed', And I'm OK
08 Feb 2019
Contributed by Lukas
What do you do when you feel as if you've failed at something? Shame you? Shrink into yourself and isolate? Pick you apart in an attempt to figure out...
Ep. 125: Tidying Up Emotional Baggage
01 Feb 2019
Contributed by Lukas
Natalie explores our reluctance to so much as tidy our emotional baggage and shares a quick exercise that highlights where we can make space for more ...
Ep. 124: Is it a bird? Is it a plane? Nope, it's emotional unavailability!
25 Jan 2019
Contributed by Lukas
Is it something you said? Is it something you did? Is it because you weren't patient/perfect/sexy/whatever enough? Nope! They're unavailable. In this ...
Ep. 123: The 5 Stages of Relationships
18 Jan 2019
Contributed by Lukas
In this week's episode, Natalie explains the 5 stages of relationships and how you can use these to recognise whether you are experiencing the intimac...
Ep. 122: Crumbs, Whether It's From The Shady or The 'Nice', Are Crumbs
12 Jan 2019
Contributed by Lukas
Following on from last week's episode about try-ing, Natalie explains why you deserve to feel secure while dating or in a relationship, and why you do...