The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
From Hooves to Haute with Trixie and Katya
27 Jan 2026
Chapter 1: What is the foot feminization service discussed in this episode?
We are very excited to announce that our very bald and very beautiful podcast tour is almost sold out for spring.
I'm excited. We're not doing that many dates. And my New Year's resolution is quality over quantity.
And we're doing it. We're doing it. Can you believe we had to add a second show to Boston and Toronto? Queen. We sure did. So you f***ing Bostonians in Toronto in Torontites or whatever the f*** you call yourselves, you better get some tickets.
Chapter 2: How do Trixie and Katya feel about their upcoming podcast tour?
Yeah.
Snatch them up.
We do have a few seats left for some of these cities and we are not doing that many of these this year. It's going to be hot. It's going to be exclusive. It's going to be fabulous. Tickets available now at TrixieandKati.com. Queen. A tu un cigarette? No, I'm at this weird weight where I feel unreasonably swollen and huge.
But people have been saying nice things to me, so I'm trying to just understand that we are not reliable narrators about ourselves. People say when you... Trust people. I know we're not supposed to listen to people, but... How are we supposed to listen to ourselves?
Baby, no, no, no. No, it's the opposite. It's the opposite. Don't listen to people. I'm like, have you heard me?
Yeah, I know what I say to myself.
It's like, I don't care what anybody says. You should. You should not care about what you say.
Yeah.
It's like, I, yeah, no. I always felt like, I don't give a fuck what people say. Well, then you're a sociopath.
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Chapter 3: What personal experiences do Trixie and Katya share about body image?
Should we, uh, should we, um, shackle you to the chair? Have you seen that? Um, renal 911 clip?
Oh, I'm so sorry. So sorry. Oh God.
You need to apologize. This is your camera? Yeah. You need to apologize. This is a video I never thought I would have to make. Except when you did this last... The time you chewed gum, you would have thought it was like Steve Harvey reading the wrong Miss Universe or whatever. No, no, no, no, no, no. It was like a gun went off in the universe.
It was like... Where were you when the world stopped turning?
It was like that woman drove 90 miles an hour into the gas station and killed the little baby.
And you did it on my birthday.
Yeah.
It's like when I came to your birthday party and then just lit everybody on fire. That was almost as bad as the gum. Yeah. Almost as bad. It's your birthday soon.
What are you talking about? Yours is in the spring. It's about to be spring. What's the plan?
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Chapter 4: What insights do they provide about mental health and therapy?
Tell them it doesn't matter.
Thank you. Go into the grave. Get the Long Island medium.
Why is she dead? Oh, she's talking to the people in the grave. She drowned.
Does that make sense?
I would love to get the Long Island medium, the Hollywood medium. And the extra large medium.
Ross Matthews. Extra large medium charge.
Yes.
I want Sylvia Brown and Tyler Henry in the same room. Oh, my God. Agreed. Freak off. Tyler, you love who you love. It's like, he drowned. Well, actually, he lives in Reseda. Well, he will drown.
Right. Is it raining in Reseda? Have you talked to him today? He drowned. Does that make sense? He drowned. Does that make sense?
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Chapter 5: How do Trixie and Katya discuss the impact of social media on self-perception?
Let me tell you, I have a hard time telling you this. He's not your father.
Yeah.
And he's going to drown. But you love who you love.
She said that like. It doesn't matter.
A PFLAG mom.
You love who you love. But wait. I don't. We can do. Yes. Celebrate our births. Absolutely. We don't do birthday months.
No. We don't do birthday weeks even. No. That's. You know what that is? That is perpetuated by big balloon. Big hallmark. I was going to say it's big sorority because it's very sorority girl energy. It's my birthday month. Can I say there's a special provision? If you had a very long labor, if you were halfway hanging out with your mom for 30 days, it is your birthday month.
Yes.
But most of us, it's kind of more of a one day thing. If your mother was in labor for 30 days.
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Chapter 6: What humorous anecdotes do they share about past experiences with police?
Girl, and frankly, we should be celebrating her. Thank you. Thank you. That blown out, ran through pussy. One time I was watching Roseanne. Before. It was a long time ago. Yeah.
Yeah.
but I saw what, and Roseanne, there's a part where Jackie's a week overdue from having her baby. And Roseanne's like, you just need to relax. And Jackie's like, I have a one week old child living inside me. And after due date, you do have some kid squatters rights. I was late. Oh no. Yeah. How late were you?
Three months. No, I, no. Yeah. She was pregnant 12 months. Yeah. 12 month pregnancy. That's why, I mean, I came out about four years old. No, I, I, I think I was late. Um,
I could be lying. But you know, moms have all this to the moment information about the first birth. Wow. Like my mom, the rest of us, I feel like no information. I'm always like, whenever we're talking about like, like astrology, what time of morning? My mom's like, what time of morning?
Yeah. I was, I don't know. I was pregnant the next day.
Who cares about you?
I'm sorry if I can't remember the time you just ripped my pussy apart. Well, also all the chemicals, the forgetting.
Baby. The trauma. The epidural. The enemas. Yeah, well, my mom did. I was C-sectioned. C-section is different. It's a surgery. Of course, you don't remember.
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Chapter 7: What are the reactions to foot feminization surgery from their guest?
I was like, oh, got it. Yeah, sectioned. C-sectioned. And that's, is that a, that's... That's when they cut and remove. No, I know what it is.
Is it how, yikes. So some, there's a lot of reasons why people might do it. Of course. My mom, I think, had a difficult... first time. So then the rest of us, three kids, they did the surgery.
And of course, I mean, it didn't work with Ashton Kutcher when he tried to strangle himself with that umbilical cord and the butterfly effect. That's right. Isn't that wild? I read the Wikipedia. I didn't see the movie. I couldn't, I don't think I could handle that movie.
By the movies are back. You're just on Wikipedia. The movies are back.
My internet kicked in again.
I saw the poster. I follow the main actress on Instagram and I read the Wikipedia. So yeah, I have seen it.
Strangling myself in the umbilical cord to undo all this like soon to come tragedies. Kunti.
Back to my mental health. Sorry. Not that I haven't considered it. Could I back to the future myself and go to my mom's baby and say, don't come out.
But then what would stay up to? I'd probably have to be a swimsuit model, work with Adriana Lima. All that pressure. As what, her driver? Work with her as her emotional support dog? As emotional support dog. Wait, what about Candace Swain-Paul, baby? Who? Candace motherfucking Swainpole. Is that the girl who was on Fuller House? No, that's Candace Cameron and she is a trumper.
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Chapter 8: How do they conclude the episode with reflections on personal growth?
We talked about that. No, we didn't. No, we didn't. We talked about it in the hallway just now.
Maybe we talked about Netflix. We talked about fake weenies. We can't see a weenie without you bringing up the fake weenies.
Maybe there's an epidemic and it's called fake weenies.
Maybe that's why your sex drive went away. Because you think they're all fake now.
Look at them. Egregiously fake. Egregious.
I mean, I can't tell. Excuse me? You can't tell? Or are they all looking at the wieners?
AZmen.com. Love that website. You have a privacy screen. Oh, well, you know why now. Porn. Fake weenies. If I want to check in on the fake weenie on the subway, I don't want to be on that list. Yeah. So the Victoria's Secret, whatever, whatever show. I hadn't been aware of this model. She's in her 30s.
If I were able to Otome Brown into her body, you know, force your way in, go on, and just inhabit her physical frame for even 12 minutes, I just can't, I can't overstate the fact that you, you, you, and everybody at home, all your life chances would evaporate in milliseconds. Oh, wow. Okay. Because the way that the, the, the tidal wave of, of unbridled,
unparalleled and unprecedented eroticism and sexuality that would just like a tsunami if you were her if i were her for even 12 minutes yeah 12 15 minutes but you're not so i got pulled over um we gotta do a graphic of miss wayne pole put it on the pod we don't have guests no no no no no i i couldn't take it i couldn't take that much power I would be blinded. I would have to gouge my eyes out.
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