🏓 “Fruition-izing” — Marty Supreme’s growth hack. Steve Jobs’ Apple Card ghost. Free Zyn at Work. +5am wakeups
episodePreviously titled “🏓 “Fruition-izing” — Marty Supreme’s growth hack. JP Morgan’s Apple Card. Free Zyn at work. +5am wakeups” — renamed by the publisher on Aug 2, 2026
Transcript
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What is the main topic discussed in this episode?
This is Nick. This is Jack. It's Wednesday, ceviche. Wednesday, January 14th. And today's pod is the best one yet. This is a T-boy. The top three pop business news stories you need to know today. But first, happy quarterly earnings season to all those who celebrate. That's right. Our first story is an earnings report. So light your lanterns in honor of the financial holiday. Yeah, I think there are a few of those. Besties, you're looking fantastic. Jack, three stories for today's show. What do we got on the pod? For our first story, JP Morgan just announced earnings and that they're taking over the Apple card. But Jack and I will tell you why the Apple card is actually doomed. It's the curse of Steve Jobs. For our second story, Timothee Chalamet tricked the internet with a fake leaked Zoom call.
You say Chalamet every time. It's Chalamet. Oh, shoot. Did I screw that up again? Chalamet! But Timothee Chalamet sparked a $70 million box office win for Marty Supreme thanks to that Zoom call. And our third and final story, forget free coffee. Silicon Valley offices are now offering free nicotine pouches. From kombucha to nicotine, free work perks actually reflect our entire society.
What is the significance of JP Morgan taking over the Apple Card?
But yetis, before we hit that wonderful mix of stories. Oh, what a mix. No one else is doing that mix. Are you a lark, a bear, or an owl? Because besties, those are the spirit animals of sleep. Or as scientists call them, chronotypes. The three sleep profiles of all people. The morning lark, the late night owl, or the snoozing bear. According to sleep doctor Michael Brias, roughly 20% of us are night owls. You know who you are. You're watching TikToks till 2 a.m. 20% of us are also morning larks.
How did Timothee Chalamet's Zoom call go viral?
You finish five cups of coffee by 5 a.m., kind of like Jack and I. And the rest of us, 60%. You're bears. Basically normal people. Not up super early, not up super late. Just right. Now, you won't see a lark smack the snooze button in the morning. And Jack, you won't see an owl hit the hay after dinner. Which is all to say, you can't biohack your biological clock. Unless you're one of the 20% of us larks, your 5 a.m. Barry's boot camp, that could actually be counterproductive. So even if your New Year's resolution is to rise before the sun does this year, you may want to double check your chronotype species, yetis. 5 a.m. and you, you just might not gel, and that's okay. Yetis, add it all up, and you got to remember what Snoop Dogg taught us all those years ago.
Mo' melatonin, mo' money. If you know, you know. Jack, what's in our three stars?
15 years before this song, two boys from the Northeast met in a dorm. They had an idea to cause a cultural storm. It's the best one yet, but the best is the norm. Jack Nick, that's it.
What societal trends do free nicotine pouches in the workplace reflect?
I don't even think they need to practice. 50%, that's a fat tip. T-Boy City on your at list. If you know, you know, cause we ready to go. We can't wait no more, so just start the show. Start the show.
First, a quick word from our sponsor.
For our first story, JPMorgan Chase had a crazy day kicking off the earnings season for 2026. And CEO Jamie Dimon explained why Trump's Fed takeover would backfire and also how Steve Jobs ruined the Apple card. Yetis, now that Warren Buffett has retired, Jamie Dimon is the silver back of Wall Street, isn't he, Jack? How old is he, like 70? Looks 30, Jack. But yesterday, JP Morgan reported earnings, $57 billion in profit for 2025. Not too shabby. This is the second year in a row that America's biggest investment bank made more than $1 billion of profits every week.
What are the different types of sleepers and their characteristics?
Jamie Dimon carries a cha-ching button in his pocket. Yes, he does. But there was one surprise weak spot in JPM's earnings report. A $2.2 billion loss related to the bank's takeover of the Apple Card. I'm sorry, Jack. Pause the pod. JP Morgan and Apple Card, please sprinkle on more content. the text. Goldman Sachs launched the Apple card in 2019 with Apple and has hated pretty much every minute of it ever since. Why? Well, we think it's because of the spirit of Steve Jobs. Back in 1997, Steve Jobs launched Apple's famous catchphrase, think different.
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Chapters
6 chapters
1
What is the main topic discussed in this episode?
0:00–1:11
2
What is the significance of JP Morgan taking over the Apple Card?
1:11–1:43
3
How did Timothee Chalamet's Zoom call go viral?
1:43–2:41
4
What societal trends do free nicotine pouches in the workplace reflect?
2:41–3:47
5
What are the different types of sleepers and their characteristics?
3:47–11:50
6
How does the ghost of Steve Jobs impact the Apple Card's management?
11:50–21:29
Speakers
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