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The Best One Yet

😬 “Millennial Cringe” — Sweetgreen’s low. Walmart’s villain-to-hero. Mini-Soap Drama surge. +Techie facelifts

17 Nov 2025

Transcription

Chapter 1: What is the main topic discussed in this episode?

0.031 - 23.372 Nick Martell

This is Nick. This is Jack. Welcome back to the Funnest Place in Finance. It is Monday, November 17th, and today's pod is the best one yet. This is a T-boy. The top three pop business news stories you need to know today. Jack, it happened. I heard it. It's real. What happened? Mariah Carey, All I Want for Christmas, already heard it on the radio this weekend.

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23.412 - 27.257 Nick Martell

Dude, we watched all three versions of The Grinch this weekend.

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27.277 - 33.165 Jack Crivici-Kramer

Besties had it all up, and yeah, you got to order the gifts today. Jack, three stories for today's pod. What do we got on the T-Boy?

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33.265 - 56.194 Nick Martell

For our first story, it's the millennial cringe stock market. Every brand that millennials love is tanking on Wall Street. Sweetgreen, Warby, Allbirds all struggling right now because millennials can't afford them. And also because of a triple whammy of costs. For our second story, Doug McMillan is retiring from Walmart after raising worker pay there by 90%.

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56.174 - 78.892 Nick Martell

Walmart's gone from corporate villain to corporate hero, from Voldemort to Superman, and it's thanks to their wartime CEO. And our third and final story. Four of the top apps in the app store right now are micro-drama apps. Mini-dramas. What's a micro-drama? It's 90-second episodes of addictively trashy TV. But besties, if you want to see the ending, you're going to have to pay a buck.

79.033 - 91.751 Nick Martell

Spoiler, the father of the baby is a billionaire werewolf. Classic, Jack. But yet, before we hit that wonderful mix of stories. Fantastic mix to kick off the week. No one else is doing that mix. Do you have a buddy who works in tech as an engineer?

Chapter 2: What are the challenges facing millennial brands in the stock market?

91.951 - 113.96 Nick Martell

But do they suddenly look 10 years younger? It could be that they're part of a new trend in Silicon Valley. Mini facelifts for men. That's right. Just like your grandma down in Florida, tech guys in Cali are getting a lift these days. True story sent to us by a listener, Manish Parikh. He found it in the Wall Street Journal. And this story, it's never looked better, baby. Here's the context.

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114.161 - 133.791 Nick Martell

The tech industry has a bit of an age complex, a particular phobia for aging. Peter Thiel once said that he would never hire anyone over the age of 30. I guess he wants people with the stamina to work 100-hour work weeks. That's exactly right. What he's doing, Jack. So there is pressure to look so young you don't even know what an iPod is. Knowing what Napster is is a red flag.

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Chapter 3: How did Walmart transform from a corporate villain to a hero?

133.891 - 155.783 Nick Martell

And that's why engineers in their 30s are getting a little neck pinch. They want to look like they're interns. Oh, you work in tech and you don't believe us? Well, we got the data on that. In San Francisco, male facelifts are up 25% since the pandemic. Eyelid surgery, it's up 50% since the pandemic. If Nip Tuck came back for a season seven on FX, it'd be a very different kind of season.

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Chapter 4: What are the implications of Walmart's CEO retiring after raising pay significantly?

155.943 - 175.247 Nick Martell

Oh, and if you know what show Jack's talking about right now, then yeah, you're probably part of this trend. Oh, and since each operation costs about $50,000 at least, Jack, that pairs perfectly with your annual holiday bonus, man. Correction, it doesn't cost $50,000. It's an investment in getting a job with Peter Thiel.

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175.328 - 186.549 Nick Martell

So besties, if your PM buddy at Google says they're getting some work done right now, could be some Figma design work. Could be account management work. Or it could be some chin work. Is that HSA approved? I don't think so.

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Chapter 5: What is the rise of micro-dramas in the entertainment industry?

186.669 - 187.23 Jack Crivici-Kramer

Doesn't matter.

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187.371 - 188.012 Unknown

It's a write-off.

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188.032 - 190.316 Jack Crivici-Kramer

Jack, let's sit on three stories. I don't think it is a write-off.

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190.617 - 191.278 Nick Martell

Yes.

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191.258 - 213.807 Unknown

15 years before this song, two boys from the Northeast met in a dorm. They had an idea to cause a cultural storm. It's the best one yet, but the best is the norm. Jack Nick, that's it. I don't even think they need to practice. 50%, that's a fat tip. T-Boy City on your at list. If you know, you know, cause we ready to go. We can't wait no more, so just start the show.

217.853 - 246.747 Nick Martell

For our first story, Sweetgreen stock fell to an all-time low last week. This is the slot bowl recession. But there's actually a much bigger story here because every millennial brand is near an all-time low right now. It's the millennial cringe stock market.

247.199 - 264.853 Nick Martell

The story kind of begins earlier this month when Jack and I had most of our team with us in San Francisco and we took them out to the Sweetgreen right down the street in Soma. I love the Sweetgreen product. We've interviewed the co-founder before. The pesto chicken salad is unbelievably delicious and somehow under 700 calories.

264.833 - 269.459 Jack Crivici-Kramer

I'm more of a customizing guy, but I end up with pesto 99% of the time, Jack.

269.479 - 294.854 Nick Martell

But the price for us four people was $74. Bestie's guac is always extra, but apparently now so are the roasted sunchokes these days. $18.50 per salad. None of us even got protein on top. And that explains Sweetgreen's latest earnings. Sales fell 10% last quarter. Foot traffic at their stores fell 12% last quarter. And the new healthy French fry did not take off.

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