The Broken Chargers, Mahomes 3.0, Zombie Deshaun, the Masked Backup, First Coach Fired, and Guess the Lines With Cousin Sal

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The Bill Simmons Podcast 1h 48m 3 speakers 8 chapters transcribed 1 hour ago
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What’s the opening banter about Bill’s kidney stone and the Chiefs‑Colts overtime game?

Bill Simmons 0:06
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Bill Simmons 1:03
This stream is brought to you by the Farmer's Dog, the official pet food of the NFL. The Bill Simmons podcast live on Netflix. I have a new rewatchables coming tomorrow, Law Abiding Citizen with uh Jamie Foxx and Gerard Butler will be coming tomorrow. So stay tuned for that. Sal and I are up here. It is almost midnight on the East Coast. Chiefs Colts went forever. And the irony of this, because Sal was listed as questionable on the injury report all weekend. Uh kidney stone. Kidney stones or kidney stone? Is it one stone or multiple stones? I
Jason Concepcion 1:37
think it's going to one
Cousin Sal 1:39
under the microscope, they found that it's one 10-centimeter. Stone which is impossible to pass through your penis, which I don't know why it has to go through that anyway, but I am flying higher.
Bill Simmons 1:53
So you're on medication. Yeah. Chiefs Chiefs Colts is going into overtime. It just keeps going. It keeps going. We have a long review. It almost becomes the Laquan treadwell game, but then it doesn't. Uh the Colts kind of blow it. And then once the Chiefs get the ball back, you know what's gonna happen next.

How do Bill and Cousin Sal break down the Chiefs‑Colts OT finish and Mahomes’ post‑injury performance?

Bill Simmons 2:11
I gotta I got to knew it was
Cousin Sal 2:12
gonna happen anyway. We're like it's all right, it's either thirty twenty seven final or thirty three thirty. You know Daniel Jones' record in prime time games now?
Bill Simmons 2:20
One in sixteen.
Cousin Sal 2:21
One in sixteen. Yeah. So we didn't have to watch that last twenty minutes. It's fine. We know how it goes.
Bill Simmons 2:26
So they get the overturn. They have all the momentum. Yeah. And then just do the most predictable two run plays in a row possible. Set up like a third and thirteen. Jones scrambles for five, gets hit right as he's going out of bounds, which that's like the demarcation of how famous of a quarterback you are. He didn't get the call. I think there's like five like Josh Allen's getting that, Mahomes is getting that. The best quarterback's learning. Lamar's getting it. Um Mm-hmm. And then uh fourth and eight, call time out. And then it seemed like they were gonna go for it. Did you did you want them to go for it there? Because I was like, you might as well. The Chiefs are gonna score anyway. But then you think like, well, your quarterback's Daniel Jones, you can't do this.
Bill Simmons 3:07
I didn't know how
Cousin Sal 3:07
it felt. He felt that way too. He's like, I'm Daniel Jones. I can't do this. I don't know what I'm sent out here for. By the way, it was the worst trying to draw someone off sides uh attempt I've ever seen. He was seven yards in the shotgun looking around. He had his hands on his hips. It wasn't no weird cadence or anything. But if you kick off in overtime, isn't that the point? You don't want to give the Chiefs the third possession. You don't want to give the other team the third possession. And yeah, by kicking a field goal, you're doing exactly that. Yeah, with three minutes left, which is way too much to point.
Bill Simmons 3:36
I mean the bigger point is you're on the seventeen, you're in four down territory at that point. Yeah. And you've gotta get a little more creative. They had the game. The Colts are now oh and two. Chiefs are two and oh and Mahomes, who had the ACL surgery nine months ago, did not look good, I didn't think on Monday night. Um, I thought he looked way better today. And it seems like he has more of a canon than he's had in a couple years. So I I know he had the uh the ACL reconstruction, but I wonder, like, do you think he's in better shape? You think he was like getting a little dad body ish like on the down low the last couple of years? Cause 'cause he he has like a cannon again.

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