In training
episode
The Church of What's Happening Now: The New Testament
1h 43m
3 speakers
7 chapters
transcribed 2 months ago
Transcript
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Transcript generated automatically by AI and may contain errors.
How do Joey and the crew react to Fourth of July fireworks and travel chaos?
Kick this motherfucking Muley. What's up, beautiful people? It's the Church of What's Happening Now, New Testament, July the 7th, 2026. What up, Mook? What's up, buddy? How was your course? You came back with both hands, so that's good. Jews ain't good with fireworks, just with missiles, you know what I'm saying? They can light a missile, but a firecracker, they can't do it.
Did I ever tell you about me lighting fireworks in Tampa the last time I was there? Yeah. And the fucking cops came? Yeah. Oh. That would only happen to you. Of course. It's the only dude I don't do. Did you do fireworks as a kid here? Yeah. Yeah. They were, like, illegal, illegal in Massachusetts. They're illegal everywhere, but who gives a fuck?
As soon as the cop makes a turn, bah! You light it, and then... I told you motherfuckers not to play with fire. Wasn't us. I'm black kids from Jersey City.
Do I... I kind of miss, and I'm not a huge fireworks guy, but in L.A., if you like fireworks, it's fun because, like, the Mexican people, it's like, they have, like, a city fireworks, but I would just go to my roof in L.A. and, like, the entire valley would be fireworks. They had a whole thing that you could see it from, like, the satellites in space because they, like, they treat the 4th of July. It goes on for, like, a couple weeks. Do you remember that?
Well, even in my neighborhood, they light firecrackers now. Do they still? The 20th.
By you?
Yeah.
Oh, shit. Shit going on. You got all these fireworks. I know a guy who bought $10,000 worth of fireworks. You're not going to light those all in one night. That's going to take two, three weeks.
$10,000?
$10,000 at a party by my house. I didn't go. I'm not going to that shit. Listen. Fireworks are like parades. You see one, you see them all. I agree. I'm going to start arm wrestling motherfuckers to go to Hoboken. I don't want to see that shit that bad. I had a perfect Fourth of July. I went down to shore. I got home at 830. They were yik-yaking, finding something on TV. I got a bowl of cherries, and I sat on my balcony and watched that fucking rain hit from the minute it hit. And next thing you know, I saw all the people's lights go off one by one. Da, da, da, da. And the generator kicked in. I'm like, I'm good. And fucking internet was out all day Sunday. Dog, I walked around with $10 for two days. I couldn't even get money out of the bank.
The ATM machine by my house and the other one up on the old bridge.
Do you still not have a credit card? When we were in L.A., you'd walk around, you'd have a debit card, and you'd go out and get, like, cash. But I don't remember you having an actual credit card.
I had a credit card for big things. Okay. My wife said, put it on there because we got points at the end of the month. Right. And I have an ATM card. But you still carry cash? Fuck yeah. Why? Why not? I don't want to be that. Because people go around, I don't have no cash. I can't pay. And then you got to pick up their lunch. People run a scam with the fucking ATM scam. Yeah. So listen, I like giving cash to people. I like being able to fucking tip and whatever the fuck you need. So even if you have 100 bucks in your pocket, it's better than not having nothing. I carry a little bit. Let me tell you something. If you're ever in a pinch, that ATM card, that American Express Black ain't going to do dick because I can't pay abroad.
You know what I'm saying? So you always got to have some cash somewhere. A $20, a $50 bill, something in case a party happens.
I have a little bit now because of stand-up, but it'll be in my wallet for months. Dude, there's places in New York where they don't accept cash.
No, there's places anywhere that they're cashless and paperless. That's when you shoplift. That's when you're at the hotel at Thompson. You want a juice, they'll just give it to you. Like, we don't, we don't.
What do you do? Have you ever been to a restaurant where they want you to scan the QR code and pay on an app? I was in an airport once in an IHOP. You had to scan and pay. I think about you and my parents. People who are of that age, I can't imagine what you'd do if someone was like, hey, you got to scan this and pay on your phone.
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Chapters
7 chapters
1
How do Joey and the crew react to Fourth of July fireworks and travel chaos?
0:00–5:26
2
Why does Joey prefer cash and complain about modern fees, insurance and financing for everyday purchases?
5:26–30:41
3
What is the controversy around financing food orders like Klarna/Affirm and buy-now-pay-later on apps?
30:41–51:01
4
How do you set boundaries with club owners and decline bad gigs?
51:01–54:32
5
Why is patience essential in a comedian's career and what is the 'conveyor belt' analogy?
54:32–1:00:32
6
How do personal rules and ‘being in training’ shape success and daily habits?
1:00:32–1:08:19
7
Why does Joey hate jelly and what are his strict restaurant ordering rules?
1:08:19–1:43:16