The Greyhound to Hell

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The Church of What's Happening Now: The New Testament 1h 11m 4 speakers 8 chapters transcribed 1 month ago
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What happened on the Greyhound road trip and how did it set the tone for the episode?

Joey Diaz 0:02
Kick this motherfucking mule, Lee. What's happening, beautiful people? Uncle Joey here for another fun-filled episode of The Church of What's Happening Now, New Testament, whatever the hell it is. Next to me is my sidekick and favorite Jewish person, fucking Johnny Hitler, a.k.a. Lee Syatt. Wanted to welcome you. We had a great fucking weekend. You know, everything's going great. What's up with you, beautiful?
Lee Syatt 0:28
Oh, my God. I'm still... I think that was the most milligrams we've taken in a week since we left L.A. Maybe I did come... The time I came to visit you when we first moved and I offered the lady a slice of pizza was also a lot, but... Because we did Monday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday.
Joey Diaz 0:50
Yeah, we went deep every night. Ocean's Casino was fantastic. The Brooklyn Improv was fantastic. I want to thank everybody who came out. I mean, you know, I owe you one. Atlantic City was sensational. We made it into a family trip and fucking... We had 11 of us down there, 13 of us eating steaks and Chinese and gambling and losing. Yeah. Lee got killed. I finally got killed on Saturday night. I gave him what I had made the night before, and it was fine. I was fine with it. I was having such a good time. It doesn't matter. I mean, we played Saturday night. We were at the table for like fucking an hour and a half, same table, with 200 bucks, just giving it back and forth, back and forth. And I like that shit. You know, it's not like you go down there and lose 2,000.
Joey Diaz 1:40
I couldn't live with myself after that. Really? Yeah. That would piss you off? Not even bet that big. And I know already that if you're down 800 and you go upstairs and get another 500, you're just going to lose it. When it ain't your night, it ain't your night. And that's how we make mistakes. We go back to win what we lost, and now we're in a deeper hole. You come back the next day. You think about where you went wrong like anything else in life. Maybe I wasn't patient enough. Maybe I fucking didn't read the cards right. Whatever. And you give it another chance. But, you know, it's not like I'm in a casino every other week. I'm in a casino with you guys. When was the last time we gambled? In Florida. In Tampa.
Joey Diaz 2:19
You know, so you have to. Listen, they pay us to be there. We have to give them a little something back. That's the way I look at it. To make the trip complete, just full circle, and there's no speed. Like, I used to go to a casino in Vegas and drop 20 on Wheel of Fortune and go home. That's not right. That's not right.
Lee Syatt 2:39
Well. That's not right. But you were probably doing that when you were going there broke, too, though.
Yeah.
Joey Diaz 2:47
I just didn't see me sit on a, listen, if I win 200 bucks on a wheel, I'll stay there to try to win an extra 100. I'll lose 100 and take home 100. I'm one of those guys. We already made two. Let's see if we can make three. But if I lose one on my journey, we're out of there. The machine's stuck, whatever the fuck. Then you sit on another machine, then you hit the jackpot. So you never fucking know. Dude, I can't do those thought machines. That's why they call it gambling, man. You never know. But you lose what you can afford. And that's what I can afford to lose, 200. Because I would beat myself up. Right. I would beat myself up. When I bet $25 on a DraftKings thing and the team don't do what it's supposed to do, I get pissed off.
Joey Diaz 3:32
Can you imagine $4,000, $5,000, $6,000, $100,000 like Drake, a million dollars like Drake? That's beyond me. If I was
Lee Syatt 3:41
betting that much, I couldn't play. I love
Joey Diaz 3:43
you guys. If I made $82 million doing this podcast like Rogan, I would still go down there with the same attitude. Maybe take 500s out and put it on the table and lose. I just don't want to give it to a fucking casino.
Lee Syatt 3:55
No, I don't either. But you guys... gambling with you guys is a lesson in patience for me because you guys do stuff that you're not supposed to Pedro and I think I forget who it was it was you and Pedro two people stayed on 13s against and we
Joey Diaz 4:14
won
Lee Syatt 4:14
and that upsets me even more you have no
Joey Diaz 4:18
idea how much that upsets me that motherfucker I was going under on him for two hands while you sat there and complained we were winning

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