YOU have the world by the balls!

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The Church of What's Happening Now: The New Testament 1h 5m 2 speakers 4 chapters transcribed 1 month ago
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What is the main topic discussed in this episode?

Joey Diaz 0:00
Kick this motherfucking Muley. What's up, beautiful people? It's the Church of What's Happening Now. New Testament. Tuesday, August the 4th. What do you want to do? Uncle Joey's here. Johnny Hitler's here. And we got another hour of fun-filled I don't know what. What's going on, Doctor?
Lee Syatt 0:21
Oh, dude, I... I pulled a move that I think you'd actually be proud of me of. So this weekend after one of my shows, you know how I used to go to Infected Mushroom, the jumping up and down with the Jews? They had a show and I went and I still love them, but it was, they're not selling the same places anymore. And the people in there, Like, when I was in my 20s, it was fucking, like, there were, like, sexy people there. It was, like, I didn't feel cool enough to be there. I was there for about 20 minutes. And I was like, because it's the Israeli people. So, God forbid something was to happen, would this be a place, like, I'd want to die. And I left after, like, two songs. I was like, this is not because it's scary.

What happens when Joey describes leaving a concert because he felt unsafe?

Lee Syatt 1:15
And I just had you in my head. If I died at that, especially it was like on the second floor of like a Brooklyn warehouse. It wasn't good. And it was just like the people there were weird looking. It was like Comic-Con went to like an electronic thing. And I was like, if I die here, Joe is going to haunt me. And so I left. Why would I?
Joey Diaz 1:39
Let me explain something to you. Because you know the answers you want. American people, this is what I'm dealing with. This kid goes to a concert and all of a sudden starts thinking about death. Where were your priorities that night? Where's your belief in God?
Lee Syatt 1:54
My belief is that you will fuck with me. And if I told you I went, because we've talked about me going to those shows before. I like it. You jump up and down. Did you jump up and down? A little bit. Not as much. Their fans are older. There's not as much jumping up and down.
Joey Diaz 2:08
Times have changed. That shit, ecstasy in 28 is completely different than 38.
Lee Syatt 2:15
And there were young people there, but it wasn't... I took edibles.
Joey Diaz 2:18
The energy wasn't there.
Lee Syatt 2:19
The energy wasn't there, and it was just, like, they had a bunch of security checks, and then even then, like, anything related to Israel, it's a little scary now. No, and I'm not... Whatever about it. But I was like, if something were to happen, this would be a place it could happen. You think Nandami's going to show up with new chucks? That'd be fucked up if Mom and Donnie showed up. No, but dude, stuff happens all the fucking time.
Joey Diaz 2:47
You have to be positive. I am positive. That night that when you go out, that type of shit ain't going to happen. You know what I'm saying? As a joke, I said that one time. Can you imagine going to an event, and there you are bleeding from the head, and you wanted to stay home and watch Narcos. Exactly. But this dummy came over. I got tickets. And now you're looking at him, his fucking eyeballs knocked out of his head. Search your right, you fuck. No, man. I live on that thing, too. If you go over there, there's going to be... Every time I've said, if I go over there, something's going to happen, nothing ever happened. Yeah. We've been waiting to watch... You know, New Year's Eve, that Channel 7 shit, and for us to see a bomb.
Lee Syatt 3:32
Oh, yeah, Dick Clark, yeah.
Joey Diaz 3:33
Who doesn't stay up just to, if you think I stay up for videos or for the performers, I'm waiting for a bomb to hit. Right? One of those, CNN, one of those. That's why you watch it. So while somebody's on stage, like Lady Gaga is singing, some Arab goes up there with the vest and says, ah, that's how the fucking, this music sucks. Long live Allah, whatever the fuck it is.
Lee Syatt 4:02
And that's why you, yeah. But you can't live like that. Yeah, but you can.
Joey Diaz 4:06
No, you can't, because if not, you will stay in your house all the fucking time. You know, Saturday, I was supposed to bring my daughter up to Nick and his girlfriend. And I'm like, I'm not going up there because number one, you got that traffic. And number two, there's no busier traffic than Hudson County on a Saturday and Sunday. So, and I felt bad after that.

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