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episode
The Church of What's Happening Now: The New Testament
1h 22m
3 speakers
7 chapters
transcribed 1 month ago
Transcript
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Transcript generated automatically by AI and may contain errors.
How does Joey describe his five-year plan and career contingencies?
Kick this motherfucking meal, Lee. What's up, you savages? It's Tuesday, July 28th. It's the Church of What's Happening Now, the New Testament of Love. I got my sidekick and brother, Mr. Johnny Hitler, a.k.a. Lee Syatt, the Flying Jew, and I'm back. I lived another life, another week. That's how I live now, Tuesday to Tuesday. I made it another week. Is that just how you start the podcast? I survived again. Yeah, man. I made it another week. We got one more week out of me. You know what I'm saying? What happened to day-to-day? Now it's week-to-week. I go day-to-day, but every Tuesday I celebrate. I made it another fucking week.
Can you believe this shit? I know you have goals, but someone asked me what your five-year plan was. I was like, he doesn't... Right now?
What my five-year plan is? I got a plan. I got a plan that has a... Contingency? An option. Okay. All right? It's 18 months of stand-up until I turn 65. Then the option is either to kick it, depends what I look like. Wait, do you mean kick it and kill yourself? No. Kick it. Kick it. Like, forget stand-up. Oh, okay. If this eye closes up anymore, I can't go up there with an eye patch because that's funny in itself.
With the Israeli flag on it? You couldn't. Yeah, I put a little flag on it.
Big dick. But no, there's just contingencies how I feel, where I'm at that time. I see myself doing stand-up for a long time, but I don't see myself driving, you know, six hours to Pittsburgh. No. You know what I'm saying? Like, there's just things I'm willing to do. I think it's going to be, for me, it's going to be good to continue to write and journal every day. Yeah. Just for the dementia bullshit. The muscles, you know, you got to feed the muscles. If you lose muscle as you get older, that's a higher tendency for fucking dementia. So listen, man. Let's face it. Okay. My grandmother and grandpa were second cousins, so there's some retardation right there in the family. It's a fucking island, okay? I don't speak about it much because it's not proud.
You know what I'm saying? It's like a... It's horrible. I didn't even have the 23 in me. My uncle told me, he goes, sit down. And I was like 10. He goes, if you start hearing voices and shit. It's just a straight line on one side. Talk to your mother because your grandmother and your grandfather are second cousins. It was an island. Once you fuck everybody, you're going to have to bump into a cousin eventually. That's fucked up. It was dark last night. I didn't see your eyes. You know what I'm saying? So, all right, we got that. Both of my parents are dead, but not from dementia. Or maybe they took one look at me and said, fuck this. How ugly do you have to be as a kid that your dad just kills himself after like three years?
I don't see no improvements. I'm just going to jump off the Hudson. Do you think he faked it and he's just out there somewhere watching? Nah, he's done his disco. Trust me. But it's like there's so many contingencies. Do I want to shoot a special? No, I don't ever want to be put back in the system. That's it. I'm a fucking... I don't want to go back into the system. I'm enjoying that I'm shooting a movie. I'm very fortunate in my age. But at the same time, like, I... This is way over the top for my plans on life. I thought right now I'd have like a one-bedroom apartment and share it with George. You know, a little kitchenette, a little hot stove. And every other month, the cable gets cut. You know what I'm saying?
But you have chicken cutlets. Huh? But you have chicken cutlets. We have chicken cutlets. You know, it was just so many expectations that I fulfilled in that manner. Yeah. So right now, I don't want to go back and I talk to a lot of people, and that's good enough for me. I still talk to friends at Netflix. I talk to friends at fucking the touring people. They just sent me an offer today. Live Nation.
Live Nation. I love how you're doing a tour at huge theaters. Look, I'm not in the... I'm not in the... You're fucking... They're not huge theaters.
There's 2,000 theaters. That's a lot of fucking... People are wiping their ass with my ticket sales in the business right now.
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Chapters
7 chapters
1
How does Joey describe his five-year plan and career contingencies?
0:00–4:54
2
What changes does Joey make to his lifestyle and health as he ages?
4:54–24:34
3
Why is Joey excited about his one-day movie role and on-set experience?
24:34–41:21
4
How did early comedy competitions and promoting sets shape Joey’s career?
41:21–44:20
5
What tips do Joey and Lee give for handling nerves and building material before big gigs?
44:20–49:21
6
Why did Joey leave the softball tournament early and how does he handle being a protective dad?
49:21–56:03
7
What is Joey’s plan for moving to Austin and balancing family, residencies, and comedy growth?
56:03–1:22:32