It's time to play for keeps
episode
The Church of What's Happening Now: The New Testament
1h 10m
3 speakers
5 chapters
transcribed 2 months ago
Transcript
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Transcript generated automatically by AI and may contain errors.
How do Joey and Lee kick off the episode and set the tone?
Kick this motherfucking mule, Lee. What's happening, beautiful people? It's the Church of What's Happening Now, New Testament, June the 30th, the last Tuesday of the month. I'm sitting here with my buddy, fucking Johnny Hitler. You know what I'm saying? He's back for another fun-filled episode on a beautiful Tuesday morning. What's going on, doctor?
I thought I liked the Jewish Cato or whatever he used to call me. Johnny Hitler. Johnny Hitler. That's a good name for you. Johnny Hitler. It's Hitler's cousin or something. He don't have to be related. What do you mean he doesn't have to be related?
Just Johnny Hitler. That's it. I'm so sorry to assume things. That's your new street name. Johnny Hitler. Why? Because I'm Jewish. The cops, when the feds listen in, they'll never, who are they talking about? He's got to be a fucking German. Nah. You're following me, so I'm throwing them off for you.
I appreciate it. Do you think in the whatever, 15, 16 years, the feds ever were, like, listening at some point? For a couple weeks. With all the crazy shit we were doing.
For a couple weeks. They had to tune in and go, what the fuck? Where is society going?
Oh, they must. Whenever I watch, like, a movie or a TV show about crime, that always blow. Like, when the American Gangster. When, like, Denzel's doing all that shit, but they're building a case and he has no idea? That freaks me out so much. Yeah, they're building a case against you.
Well, listen, Johnny Hitler hasn't done anything.
Johnny Hitler did something. Johnny Hitler's innocent.
Hitler did something. It's fucking crazy how... Time is just moving. How the fuck is it June 29th already?
I know. You just got married in December. It was six months, two days ago.
That's fucking insane. I know. Wednesday? Yeah. Thursday is 26 years, me and Terry. Wednesday. Oh, shit. Went on our first date to Lake Havasu.
I thought it was 25 years, like three weeks ago. I don't know. Jesus.
It's 26 years.
That was your first date, Lake Havasu? Yeah.
Yeah. Fuck. July the 1st is also when I left Boulder, so that's been 31 years. No, I left Boulder June 25th, a week before July 1st. Do you, like, write these dates down? I just keep them in my fucking mind because I was telling you about that first time. Like, I was explaining to Lee that sometimes bookers, it's not that they don't like you. It's that they're being overwhelmed. And then, you know, you have your friends call them. Nick will call. George will call. You're on the guy's radar. But one night, he's going to be sitting there. It's going to be 8 o'clock at night, and he's going to get a call from somebody going, hey, I can't do the next two weeks. And he's got to hustle. Well, guess what? Guess who's been calling him every week looking for work?
Yeah, hopefully. Me. So he called me at 9 o'clock at night and said, listen, you're leaving tomorrow for Ogden, Utah. I didn't even know Ogden, Utah. I didn't even know Ogden, Utah existed. Okay? So I still remember leaving that morning, and for some reason or another, I had two driver's licenses. Same name? Like I lost one, but then I asked for a repeat, and the other one was still good. Like there was two licenses in my wallet. Got it. Okay. And I'll never forget that. I'm like, I ain't paying for gas because I didn't have that much gas. To get to Ogden. I had like, bro, if I borrow like 40 bucks to get to Utah, and that includes food. From Seattle? No, from Boulder. From Boulder, got it. That's a 12-hour fucking drive in those days, okay?
And you can get there on 40 bucks of gas? In my demented, cocaine-addicted, felonious mind, yeah, at that time, I think I had 60 bucks. But the point is, when I stopped at that gas station, I filled up, The guy was looking at me, and he's like, this motherfucker ain't going to pay. I was going to pay, but he was right. I wasn't going to pay. I did a bunch of these things. And I go, hold on one second. Hold on one second. I left my wallet at the house. And he goes, where do you live? I go, right down the corner here. Take my license. I didn't need that license. You know what I'm saying?
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Chapters
5 chapters
1
How do Joey and Lee kick off the episode and set the tone?
0:00–14:50
2
What wild early career crimes does Joey recount from Colorado and Denver?
14:50–22:51
3
How did Joey exploit store return policies and Jeffrey Bucks to make money?
22:51–44:13
4
What personal arrests, jail experiences, and fears about imprisonment does Joey describe?
44:13–53:46
5
Why is the recent 64-year-old councilman’s arrest weighing on Joey’s mind?
53:46–1:10:29