Chapter 1: Who are the hosts and what are their New Year's Eve traditions?
I'm off to gloak shampers through a funnel.
You're off and out. On this episode of the Commercial Break. What did you regret in 2020 for this one?
I'm hoping we'll be introspective.
Oh, okay. Let me see.
But Chrissy says no. It's going to be Teresa Caputo.
I said that Jeff and I didn't cook naked enough.
Oh, there you go.
Hey, that's a good one.
That is a good one. 2025 goals. That is a good one. And when you guys cook naked, please videotape it. I'll Instagram it for you since you don't like to do that. I'll put it up there and I'll even put little blurbs. I'll blur it out for you.
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Chapter 2: What unique Venezuelan New Year's traditions are discussed?
I think Dolly was involved maybe too.
Dolly Parton was involved. I think Pete took a break for rehab. Yeah. And a show in Conyers, Georgia. Right. And then, yeah, I like Ryan and I like Andy. I like both of them. I think they're good. But since they stopped drinking, you know, it's not as interesting. Is it? I thought that they weren't allowed to drink. I thought they told them no more drinking.
Well, they got a little crazy with it. They're allowed again, though.
They're allowed again? I think people demanded it. Well, fine. Finally, CNN coming to their senses. Doing something to improve the ratings over there at CNN. What a fucking train wreck that channel has become, honestly.
I haven't even watched.
I mean, Anderson Cooper is the only reason to watch, if we're being real about it. Anderson Cooper, I think, is the only interesting one that's still over there. But anyway, and of course, you know, Ryan Seacrest and Dick Clark Productions is the sentimental favorite because that's what I've been watching since I was a child.
My grandmother, we would always spend New Year's Eve with my grandma, Green, on my dad's side, my dad's mom. And while I think my dad would argue that He wasn't her biggest fan. I always enjoyed being around my Grandma Green because she always made it a big deal to be at her house. Yeah. And I've told you this. She had this house in Melrose Park, Illinois, in Chicago.
And in this house, it had a basement, like a lot of houses in Chicago do. And in this basement was a bar. And we're not talking about a bar like most people have a bar. They've got a little nook with a couple of bottles and glasses on it. We are talking a full cheers bar downstairs in the basement with cocktail tables and a TV and things hanging on the wall and a little fireplace.
You could literally belly up to this bar. And there could be a bartender back there serving you drinks.
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Chapter 3: What are the hosts' personal loves and hates from 2024?
which was crazy, crazy. I had to check myself with my brother one time. I'm like, that thing was live, right? He's like, pin in, live grenade, sitting downstairs.
Oh, pin in.
Yeah, but I think that was pretty common that guys came back from the war and they took souvenirs, like their guns, their medals, a grenade, you know. I don't know why my grandpa kept it, but my grandma kept it too, sitting down there in the basement. My grandma also, one year, she bought Weird Al Yankovic. Have you ever heard the song Weird Al Yankovic? Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer.
Of course.
Okay, it's a very famous song. I can't remember the name of the artist. But he had a whole comedy album. Elmo something? I think his name was Elmo something. He had a very famous comedy album. And Weird Al Yankovic, of course, had in the 80s and the 90s was doing a lot of comedy albums too. So my grandma bought us these two albums.
And I just remember one New Year's Eve, Kevin and I burning the shit out of those cassette tapes, just listening to them over and over and over again. Weird Al and Elmo, Weird Al and Elmo, back and forth, back and forth till midnight, trying our best to stay up for the ball drop. And I think we accomplished it. I have such fond memories of being down in that bar for New Year's Eve.
It sounds like a really good time, especially for a kid. I mean, how old were you up until this was the time?
I would say seven through moving here to Atlanta. So I would, I mean, remembering, right? Of course, I was probably there much younger, but I would say she started to do this party tradition seven through 13, seven through 12, seven through 13, good five or six years. And then when we came here, moved here to Atlanta, there were a few odd years where we would be up there for whatever reason.
And she would do it and she would always make it a big deal. Kevin and I would play down in that bar. They had a match collection, a match, you know, matchbook collection. Yeah. Like the little boxes? Yes, because that was what you did back then. If you had a restaurant, it was like a business card. Instead of a business card, you'd have a matchbook, right? That's true.
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Chapter 4: What regrets do the hosts have from the past year?
And play on loop. Grandma got run over by a reindeer.
Grandma got run over by a reindeer. Coming home from our house Christmas Eve. You can say there's no such thing as Santa. So now I have passed on that tradition. Both of my grandparents were into, is it Elmo? Is that his name?
It's Elmo and Patsy.
Elmo and Patsy. Elmo and Patsy. He was like a comedy artist. That's what he did. Before Weird Al Yankovic, there was Elmo and Patsy. And I'm sure there was lots of others, too. But both of my grandparents were into Elmo and Patsy. That was like their sense of humor was very much like dad jokes. And if you listen to an Elmo and Patsy album, it's very dad jokey. Really?
Grandma got run over by a reindeer. There's a song. There's a line in the song that goes, now we're all so proud of grandpa. He's been taking it so well. Watching football, watching football and drinking beer and playing cards with cousin Mel. Playing cards with cousin Mel. What?
I know, that was a bizarre song, but it's catchy.
So now I pass this down to my children, and you would not believe, they're huge Christmas music fans, and Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer is on the top three. They're always like, Dad, play Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer. And my wife hates it after.
It's like, God damn it, Reindeer. They need to be listening to Gaietas.
Gaietas are like Venezuelan holiday songs. So for – Wait.
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Chapter 5: What desires do the hosts have for the upcoming year?
The party culture there is so ingrained with everything. They celebrate life. Everything. You had a good day at work? Get the barbecue going, invite 30 friends over. You had a bad day at work? Get the barbecue going, invite 50 friends over. You get the rum out, you drink, you get tequenos, tequenos, tequenos.
It's just one of those things that everything needs to be a party because they like to celebrate everything. And I really love that because us Irish folks, we don't celebrate anything. The most fun we have at a gathering is usually at a funeral or a wake, right? We like to celebrate death. Ah, he got out early. Good for him, that son of a bitch. It's not really ingrained in my family to do that.
We didn't even really have birthday parties. So for Astrid, New Year's Eve is special. It needs to be a big party. She wants everyone to have a good time. And if you've ever been to a Venezuelan party, you know two things. There's going to be tequeños, number one. And number two, it's never going to start on fucking time, and there are waves of the party.
Let's say the party starts at— I love party waves. Yeah. Party waves are the best. Our wedding was a party wave, right? You've got the pre-party where everyone's out stunning themselves, getting a cocktail. Then you go and you do the thing. And then you have the cocktail hour. And then you sit down and you eat. And then you go out and you party.
And then here comes the... And then you do the crazy hour. And then after that, they're serving breakfast. Like, it's a whole thing.
I know. I remember.
So if they say the party starts... So a party on New Year's Eve doesn't start until 10 p.m., period, into sentence. Like here in America, you get there at 8 o'clock, and by the time New Year's rolls around, you're ready to go home. For the Venezuelans, it starts at 10 o'clock, and then you celebrate at midnight, and then you celebrate again at 1 o'clock, and then you celebrate again at 2 o'clock.
I like that a lot.
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Chapter 6: How do the hosts plan to celebrate New Year's Eve?
Yes. And so this is just the way they do it. It's a big deal.
Do they have any kind of, like, ball-dropping scenario? Or is that just in the U.S.?
I think they have, like... Democracy drop?
Democracy drop!
Democracy drop! No more democracy for you! I don't think they have a ball drop necessarily. It's just a big party. Yes, it's a big party. That's what they do. But they do like the ball drop. At least my family does. They like to watch that thing. They eat grapes. So for every year, they eat a grape. Every year of the millennial, they'll eat a grape. So 2001, you eat one.
So this year, we're going to have to eat 24 grapes. And I couldn't even imagine what it was in 99.
Well, I know. That's what we were talking about, Christina and I said.
You have grapes. You have a dollar bill. You must wear red underwear. It's a whole thing. Red underwear. If you don't wear red underwear, it's bad luck. If you don't wear red underwear on New Year's Eve, you have to have a dollar bill that you soak in champagne and then you keep it throughout the year. Really? So there's actually a dollar that's sitting around here from last year.
I wondered what that dollar was.
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Chapter 7: What countdown traditions do they follow for New Year's?
And that's what they do. There's just a couple of traditions that they like.
Well, that reminds me, too, of a tradition like right at New Year's. So this was passed down. And, Christina, I want to ask you about this because I think it's some type of Scottish derivative of something that's done at midnight is that a dark-haired man is supposed to pass through the doorway with bread, salt— And, and, uh, Cole, my grandmother always did this.
And so then my dad did it with my mom and now I have Jeff doing it with me and I looked it up and it is a thing.
It is.
No, I mean, maybe it's a thing, but no.
When I was a kid, I do remember this when I was a kid and I was like in my early twenties, I would pass through the door with cocaine, Bud Light and dollar bills for the ladies. I mean, is it the same thing? It's very, very similar. It's a derivative of it. It's very similar.
It's an Irish twist.
That's an Irish tradition. I have a question about the dollar bill soaked in champagne.
Yes.
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Chapter 8: What reflections do the hosts share about the past year and future?
You must dress up on New Year's Eve. If you're not dressed up, you're not doing it right. You're doing it wrong. For years. Like, I mean, I took this stance for years before I met Astrid that New Year's Eve was really for amateurs, you know, and I didn't like to go out and I didn't want to party. I was okay staying home and not doing anything.
I don't remember you being this Debbie Downer-ish throughout our friendship.
If I went to a New Year's Eve party, it was under duress. I went under duress. Just know that. I didn't want to be there. I was there. If I looked like I was having a good time, I was pretending.
For years, I went to see music for New Year's.
Yeah, I did that for a couple of years, too. I thought that was a good one. That's what I'm doing this year. What are you doing? Who are you going to see?
I'm going to a Huguel concert. Oh. Afrobeats, baby.
There you go.
Drop the Afrobeats.
Yeah, I'm excited. Is it a New Year's Eve concert they're going to play through midnight? Yeah. It starts at 10.
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