Chapter 1: What creative idea do Bryan and Krissy propose for making money?
so before you start gossiping about me love scratch your minge sniff your fingers because you have got bigger fish to fry on this episode of the commercial break
When my kid comes to me at 18, 19, 20 years old and says, I'm not going to college, but what I would like to do is take the incredible talents and gifts that God has given me, and I want to go out there and show the world what I can do.
Yeah, monetize it.
I think it would be hard as a parent not to say, you know what? In this situation, I have to agree with you, son. I have thought since the day that you came out of mommy's woohoo that you were a special kind of kid with a big old fucking dick, and you should go out there and make a living doing that.
The next episode of The Commercial Break starts now. It's 30 in the morning! Oh yeah, cats and kittens, welcome back to The Commercial Break. I'm Brian Green. This is my dear friend and the beanie baby of this show, Kristen Joy. Totally best to you, Kristen. Best to you, Brian.
And best to you out there in the podcast universe.
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Chapter 2: How did Bryan get his start in radio?
Thanks for joining us. Another fantastic episode of The Commercial Break on deck for you. I'm not sure when that'll happen, but just stay tuned. It's in the queue. It's somewhere coming up in the future. We got a rather naughty little text message from someone on one of our old phone lines. Remember, we've had 12 phone lines.
Yes, we have.
Yes. And they said, been listening for a while, just waiting for the funny to catch up. And I was like, oh, fuck you. Thanks for listening. Yeah, thanks for listening. That's what I said. I said, thanks for listening. It'll be here soon. Don't you worry about it.
Don't you worry about it.
Leslie Liao, our guest this week. What a brilliant young comic she is. Yes. And I was just doing a little Google search because I like to, you know, internet stalk our guests because having them on the show, I like to follow them around. Just praying that they'll give us that Instagram follow we so desperately need. And Leslie's all over. She's all over. L.A. Times, Dateline, Hollywood Reporter.
She's huge right now.
Sydney Telegraph. She's all over the place. Good for her. Yeah, that story of being a HR manager turned stand-up comic and then doing a special for the company you were working for is actually quite an amazing story.
It really is.
I would like to make some parody between my getting on air at, you know, 94, no, not 94, not in the bowl, 96.7 The Legend.
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Chapter 3: What insights do they share about the Facebook algorithm?
Country classics.
Country classics. Man, did I love that. I did. What's going on with my microphone? I don't know. I'm so sorry, but it keeps popping in and out. I wonder, it just seems finicky. Maybe it doesn't even like me anymore. Maybe it's also waiting for the funny to show up.
Just stop.
Yeah.
I felt so good about doing those. Like, as soon as they let me in that studio, and Lance, if you remember Lance.
Of course.
Was teaching me how to do the, like, you know, hit the post. Run the boards. Run the boards, hit the post, make it sound professional. I mean, he really did not have to give me much tutoring. And even he said so.
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Chapter 4: What is the significance of 'people you may know' on social media?
He's like, you're kind of a natural there. And I was like, great. I have a future in talking in and out of classic country songs all over this great country.
Yeah.
Or at least just a tiny little part of the Atlanta area. I'll be in Chattanooga, Tennessee doing the morning show in no time. Watch out!
And then, okay, so here, so this will lead to a story. Ready? Story time with Brian. So... For those of you who haven't heard this story, Chrissy and I worked at a radio conglomerate, like the largest in the country. And that's how we met. We started working there basically around the same time.
And the reason why I got the job at the radio station was not because I was particularly enthralled with radio stations or the business side of radio. It was because I thought they were going to somehow put me on air. But when I showed up to this blind interview, I had no idea what I was going in for. I thought I was going to go to be on air.
And even I made my resume, I beefed it up with some things I thought might be pertinent to on air. You did?
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Chapter 5: What happens during the unboxing segment?
I did, yes. Because I had been on another radio station in Atlanta for like three days, right? Okay. I didn't know that part. But when I walked in, what I realized... by all of the people sitting around in these cubicles was I was going to be nowhere near the microphones of this radio station or any of the radio stations in the building. This lady wanted me to be on the sales side of things. Yes.
And we agreed that it just wasn't a good fit. Like I wasn't, I didn't want to do radio sales. Three months after I went in for that interview, I'm at a Target here in Atlanta. And that same lady who interviewed me, I wish I could remember her damn name. I give her a thank you. That same lady who had interviewed me, all of a sudden she's like running up to me.
Brian, Brian Gregory, Brian Greenback, Brian Greenwald. What's your last name? And I'm like, Green. And she's like, I have been looking for your resume everywhere. Why? Because we're starting this new division at the company for streaming radio.
Chapter 6: What humorous idea does Bryan suggest involving a dunk tank?
It's going to be all our stations are going to be on the interwebs. And we need somebody with your experience, because I had had experience in internet marketing and selling advertising online. She said, we need experience. We need people who can even pretend to understand what's going on here. And I've been looking. I remembered you, but I couldn't find your resume.
I couldn't remember your last name. And so I said, oh, okay. So she writes out my phone number. Someone's going to give you a call. So I go in. Here it is. But the only thing that I want to do is get on the radio. I really don't give two shits about working in the business office, even though it was fine. I worked there and we did fine.
Looking back now, this makes way more sense.
Yeah, I didn't show up there because I wanted to be a radio sales guy extraordinaire. There are lots of people that are really good at radio sales. Brian is not one of those people at all.
That was part of the sales staff.
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Chapter 7: How do Bryan and Krissy discuss parenting decisions?
And she was part of the sales staff. We all worked on the same floor. And so there's like eight radio stations, seven radio stations, whatever it is, in our quote unquote cluster. The cluster. The cluster. Cluster. Sounds like we're about to have a chocolate nosh on some Henry's chocolate you bought for your mom. It's got strawberries in it. She don't like strawberries. You know what I'm saying?
Here, mom, have a radio cluster.
I was thinking about a cluster rash.
Oh, yeah, cluster rash. That's probably more accurate, actually. It was like a rash. It was irritating and sometimes painful, and you couldn't get rid of it. Exactly. You just couldn't break away from it. It's like a crazy ex-girlfriend. You just keep going back to the west.
Uh-huh.
So after a couple of months at the radio, working in the business side of things, of course, we got to know the people that were on air. We were all working together on a daily basis. And so we were on one floor. They were on another floor. And I would make it a point to get my ass up onto that radio floor to meet and greet with whoever. Be friendly. Say hello.
Some way, somehow, I'm going to get behind that microphone.
Yeah. I was always up there, too, going to Rachel's studio.
Rachel, geez, I was scared of her at first. She was scary. Rachel was scary.
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Chapter 8: What is the story behind the Girth Master phenomenon?
We're going on.
The Olympics in China. Yes.
And you invited me to be a part of that show. Oh, yeah.
So, yeah. So this starts off. I'm playing the good boy. Like, I know what I need to do. I'm really excited to be on air. I actually remember the first time that I ever recorded like that three hours. And I remember sitting outside in my car so as not to bother my wife at the time and the dogs and all this other stuff. And quite frankly, who has a fucking radio in their house?
I mean, the only radio I had was in my car. I remember sitting out in that driveway, midnight to 3 a.m., drinking beer. I mean, I didn't have keys in the car, just drinking beer, listening to the radio and listening to myself talk. I thought it was the best thing in the world. But I quickly realized that, you know, that wasn't exactly what I wanted to do.
I felt like I would be, you know, Hambone and Hoadley in the morning within a couple of days. So that's what I did. I started to extend the breaks, you know, 30 seconds by 30 seconds. Before you know it, we're doing 28 minutes of talk an hour. But no one notices because no one listens. Not even the senior vice president of programming. No one could give a shit. They don't care. They didn't care.
There was no monetary value to this radio station. They did not care. They did not listen. They did not know. Whatever. It just went on forever. But I felt like I was really good at talking in and out of those posts, you know? Islands in the stream. Dolly Parton. Kenny Rogers. The 1967 classic. The weather's going to be 77 funny. Here's Clay Clemshaw with, you know, whatever. Riding on your back.
I don't know. Whatever the country song is.
Riding on your horseback.
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