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The Commercial Break

All Aboard The Failure Bus!

15 Mar 2024

Transcription

Chapter 1: What listener feedback is discussed at the start of the episode?

0.031 - 30.038 Unknown

I want to speak to those of you who are

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30.018 - 49.09 Bryan Green

jesus christ on this episode of the commercial break 90 of podcasts don't make it to episode number five hoping that that would also be us but look at us now we just got dragged through

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50.437 - 51.959 Unknown

It's been a wild ride.

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52.019 - 57.227 Bryan Green

I feel like I'm hanging on to the success bus by the back and it's just bouncing me along the road.

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57.267 - 74.571 Unknown

Like tin cans? Yeah, like ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding. You're going to get there soon. Next stop, success. It's been five years. The next episode of The Commercial Break starts now.

Chapter 2: What milestones are celebrated as the podcast approaches episode 500?

79.445 - 80.268 Unknown

show break.

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80.288 - 98.867 Bryan Green

I'm Brian Green. This is the Batwoman to my Robin Thicke. Kristen Joy Hoadley. Best to you, Kristen. Best to you, Brian. Best to you out there in the podcast universe. Interesting reaction to our holy water, our Peter Popoff breakdown the other day. Yeah? Yes, we had an interesting reaction.

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Chapter 3: How does TCB therapy play a role in the hosts' discussions?

98.907 - 112.27 Bryan Green

Someone actually wrote in a story about their uncle who used to, like their elderly uncle, who used to idolize Peter Popoff. He would like drive thousands of miles to see him in person. He would...

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112.25 - 135.54 Bryan Green

watch every special he would tape the infomercials he fully believed in the holy water that the holy water was going to cure him i guarantee that holy water came from the tap of a peter popoff assistant but let's neither here nor there yes and she explains the story i'm gonna kind of prep it i'm gonna just like um not preface it but i'm gonna shorten it up abbreviate i'm gonna abbreviate it thank you chris uh

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135.723 - 176.074 Bryan Green

She says that her uncle came down with got diagnosed with prostate cancer at one point. And the prostate cancer was not a very serious form of prostate cancer, the type of prostate cancer that a lot of men will just live with. Right. And so he got the holy water. Wow. Wow.

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176.054 - 190.428 Bryan Green

And that after years of not seeing a doctor, he went back to the doctor and the doctor said, the prostate cancer has not progressed. You are in the category of men who live often with prostate cancer for their entire lives, especially elderly men.

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190.928 - 205.302 Bryan Green

And we just don't do anything about it because it's not that aggressive and it can be a rather... It's not actually benign, but it can be a benign form of cancer. Well, he now, for the rest of his life, swore up and down that the magic holy water was doing it. So...

205.282 - 229.144 Bryan Green

He believed in it so much that he would call repeatedly and repeatedly and repeatedly and make donations so he could get magic spring water. She says to the point where Peter Popoff sent a gallon or the Peter Popoff Enterprises sent a gallon of the magic spring water to her uncle. And then one Thanksgiving, they caught him sprinkling it on the turkey.

229.164 - 229.264

What?

230.206 - 234.37 Bryan Green

And I was like, this is either a totally made up story or very fucking funny.

Chapter 4: What funny story is shared about exploding kombucha?

235.351 - 257.39 Bryan Green

Your crazy uncle. It seems pretty specific. It does seem pretty specific that your crazy uncle was sprinkling magic holy water on top of the Thanksgiving feast. You sprinkle it everywhere. Yeah, why not? It can't hurt. Listen, I've been through some Thanksgiving. I've had some Thanksgiving turkey that I wish I had magic spring water for to make it moist. I take it. I take it.

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257.41 - 276.216 Bryan Green

You just can't get that Thanksgiving turkey right. I don't care what you do. Ha ha ha. We even fried it one time. And besides almost setting the entire neighborhood on fire, it didn't do a damn bit of good for that fucking turkey. It didn't taste the exact same as it did the year previous when we baked it. I mean, okay, it was a little bit more juicy, and the skin was a little bit more crispy.

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276.617 - 278.599 Bryan Green

I guess it was a bit more enjoyable.

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278.999 - 279.7 Unknown

Crispy skin.

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279.72 - 280.58 Bryan Green

Yeah, crispy skin.

Chapter 5: What is the story behind the bacon pickle McMuffin?

280.6 - 301.727 Bryan Green

That's the only part of the turkey that I give a shit about is that skin. And my dad, too. Yeah, it's like that Christmas story when, you know, my dad was a turkey skin connoisseur. Well-known across the Midwest. So was my dad. My dad, he just would start eating the skin. And if we tried to have some, he'd be like, no, no. It's unhealthy for you. Then I had a little bite one time.

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301.767 - 310.902 Bryan Green

He finally gave me a little bite, and I was hooked. It's like the first time you have bacon. We just gave our youngest bacon for the first time.

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311.982 - 330.065 Bryan Green

Bacon has to be one of my favorite foods, I do have to say. Who amongst us doesn't count bacon as one of their favorite foods? If you're not like religiously not eating it or for some reason, you know, some moral or ethical reason that you're not eating it, religious reason you're not eating it, bacon is fucking delicious. Makes everything better. It really does.

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330.105 - 341.7 Bryan Green

When I worked at that Mickey D's way back as a skip young teenager running around causing trouble with everybody, when I worked there, I liked the morning shifts for one reason and one reason only, bacon.

Chapter 6: How do hotel check-in and check-out times impact travelers?

341.78 - 361.991 Bryan Green

Bacon. Because we just cooked bacon in mass, like pounds and pounds and pounds of bacon. It went on every sandwich. People would order it with their hotcakes or whatever the fuck was going on at that time. And so what I would do, as strange as it may seem, but I think some people may agree with me, is I would take a toasted English muffin, just lightly toasted, right? Okay.

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362.652 - 378.287 Bryan Green

I'd put as much bacon as I could stuff on that toasted English muffin, lightly toasted. I want to make that clear to everybody. I don't want anybody thinking I'm one of those guys who likes burnt English muffins. I don't want to be put in that category, Chrissy. Who does? No one. No one. If you like a burnt English muffin, you're a weird motherfucker.

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378.723 - 391.635 Bryan Green

So I'd put as much bacon as I could, and then I'd take the pickles, and I'd put them all over the top of the sandwich. Wow. So you kind of got that. Pickles and bacon. Pickles, bacon, and English muffins. I still crave it to this day.

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Chapter 7: What treaties are humorously proposed in this episode?

391.655 - 404.887 Bryan Green

Pickle bacon muffin. Pickle bacon muffin. I still crave it to this day, and I'm sure that there's still plaque hanging around somewhere in my arteries from two years of eating pickle bacon English muffin sandwiches. A pickle bacon McMuffin. That's what it was.

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405.027 - 405.267 Unknown

Yeah.

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405.287 - 421.195 Bryan Green

And it was delicious. I got a bunch of people hooked on it. They were like, what are you doing? Just try it. Yeah, just try it. I'm surprised they don't have this on the menu yet. It's on the secret, super secret menu. Have you ever ordered from a super secret menu? No, and I've heard about them for years and I just, I have never tried it. I never either.

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421.215 - 433.798 Bryan Green

I just don't have the balls to start bothering people at my fast food joint. I don't go to fast food joints a lot anyway, but if I did, I always feel like... I don't know. Also, I don't want them to be like, what are you talking about?

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Chapter 8: What reflections do the hosts share about their podcasting journey?

433.818 - 450.325 Bryan Green

Yeah, what are you talking about? Yeah, you've been had by the TikTok. You've been had by some TikTok trend. I feel like when I go to a fast food restaurant, I'm really ginger. with my behavior at a fast food restaurant. I'm super nice.

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450.345 - 460.154 Bryan Green

I'm usually super nice to everybody, but I'm like extra super nice about my fast food workers because I understand that that is a fucking thankless job for almost no money. And there's a lot of assholes.

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460.174 - 480.659 Bryan Green

I mean, all you need to do is just peruse Instagram or TikTok to find out that airplanes and fast food establishments are apparently ground zero for the undoing of the fabric of society altogether. I mean, it's just fucking insane how people behave in some of these places. Yeah. But if I did have the balls to do it, I would say give me a bacon pickle McMuffin, please.

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480.759 - 500.469 Bryan Green

I say you should just try it. I'm not going to go my entire life without at least one or two more bacon pickle McMuffins. Well, I'll make one for you. You will? Yeah, because I've been experimenting with making English muffins. Making them yourself? Yeah, handmade English muffins, sourdough English muffins. Really? Uh-huh. And how do you do that? They're delicious.

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500.489 - 518.02 Bryan Green

How do you get all the air in there? It takes a while, the air. Yeah, like the little pockets in there. How do you get those pockets in the bread? It's the way the yeast and the rising and the whole thing happens. Come on up for the rising. Yeah, so you have to just like wait a while so the air can get in there?

518.04 - 539.475 Bryan Green

Yeah, it takes a little while to do the whole process because you have to make the dough and then let it rise and then cook it. And then you like slightly cook it and then you cook it again when you're ready to like eat it? Is that how it goes? No, no. You just take the dough, cut it into pieces and then cook it on one side, cook it on the other side and it cooks on the inside. No shit. Who knew?

539.515 - 557.294 Bryan Green

Yeah. Who knew? You and Tom Papa. I'd like to ask Tom Papa if he's ever had an English muffin baking session at his house. No, I actually mentioned it to him, if you'll remember. I don't remember shit. On the interview. I don't remember anything. And he said he hadn't tried it yet, but he was very interested and wanted to do it.

557.334 - 573.418 Bryan Green

Well, maybe you should reach out and tell Tom that you have this super secret English muffin bread recipe that you're looking to make. That would be great. I'm sure Tom would go, who are you? We actually got a lot of great compliments about the Tom Papa interview. I really enjoyed it. He was great to talk to.

573.438 - 594.488 Bryan Green

Yeah, a lot of people reached out and said that it was one of their favorite interview episodes so far. And I said, not Veer Das? And they said, no. Hey, listen. You'll always remember your first. You'll always remember your first. And it'll never be that great. Not because of Veer. Let me make that clear. Love to Veer.

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