Chapter 1: What chaos occurred in the Green household while Krissy was away?
I told my wife I could make a car out of spaghetti. You should have seen her face when I drove past her.
On this episode of the Commercial Break.
If this isn't fruit, that sugar is cracked, I don't know what is. I've never seen a more... It is addictive. I've never seen a more clear and concise argument for sugar is terrible for you than my one-year-old child who absolutely went apeshit when I took her fucking box away.
Hard to believe. Well, yeah, she knows what she wants. Yeah. Crack.
The next episode of The Commercial Break starts now.
Yeah, boy! Oh, yeah, cats and kittens, welcome back to The Commercial Break. I'm Brian Greene. This is the director of Deep Throat Services, Kristen Joy Holy.
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Chapter 2: How did Bryan mess up the previous episode regarding the Chiefs?
Best to you, Kristen. Wow, best to you, Brian. Bringing you back with a bang. Right? Oh, my infantilized sexual fantasies about deep throating have made their way onto the show yet again. How you feeling?
I'm feeling much better.
Good. Chrissy back in studio after the fourth month off.
I know.
People are legitimately confused, by the way.
Deaths and illnesses is all I'm going to say right now, but hopefully that's past. That's behind.
I really hope so, too. Especially the death part.
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Chapter 3: What humorous insights do Bryan and Krissy share about parenting?
I know. I know. I hope it's... Well, I mean...
i hope at least for the next month we don't experience any more death in the pcb family that's enough it's enough already so you're feeling good you're feeling back together and uh your throat's all sounds good yeah i know i had full-blown laryngitis for three days that's crazy i couldn't speak so what did jeff do he put a little bit of honey little drizzle drizzle on a spoon he got some maybe some much-needed silence because i didn't realize how much i was talking to him the
I think that if I had lost my voice, I think it would be chaotic in the house. I wouldn't be able to tell my children what to do.
Or yell at Blue.
Yeah. Anybody looking for like a Yorkie, eight years old, doesn't shut up, shits all over the place, bites her children. Anybody looking for those kind of animals?
Yeah, what an advertisement.
That's why I could never give her away. Because I feel too guilty about throwing her somewhere in somebody's house. I wouldn't feel guilty about leaving her. I'd feel guilty about giving it to the other person. That's right. That's the damn dog. I got to be mad at somebody.
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Chapter 4: What unexpected incident happened during bath time with the baby?
Shit rolls downhill and it rolls all the way to Blue's head.
She's the shortest in the house.
I know. You wouldn't know it, though. She's the shortest in the house. She makes the most conversation in the house. And she's always trying to jump up to your level. It's a double whammy. Dogs that jump and dogs that bark. It's like, God damn, just fucking sit down for two seconds, will you, dog?
I know. Even after all these years, I still try and try different little tactics. You know, when I first come in. Oh, I noticed. I always try a little something new. Nice, mean, indifferent.
You cannot manipulate that dog.
No, it's the same.
I tried to bribe her with treats. I brought in specialists, psychologists, therapists, doggy Xanax, doggy Valium, doggy this.
I gave you the CBD, the doggy CBD.
You gave me the CBD and it made her worse. She was fine for like five minutes and then she went nutso. It was crazy. And now the thing that she's doing now is she, my youngest daughter, sleeps in her own room in her crib. But there's a nice inviting bed in there, too, for one of my other children, should they ever decide to go sleep in their own room. for one of my other children.
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Chapter 5: How did Bryan handle the baby's injury and blood loss?
And then Blue will randomly bark in the middle of the night. Because why? I don't fucking know. I don't fucking know. I don't speak dog. You'll be dead asleep.
Hey!
Hey! What?
Hey!
Maybe it's the little mouse.
Well, half the time what it is is Astrid will walk the hallways, you know, as a mother does sometimes. She gets up to go to the bathroom and she walks the hallways to check on all the children. And she'll close the door because there's no blues in there. So now blues on the other side of the door because now she doesn't want to sleep in the bed anymore. She wants to come back with me. And so, ah!
Ah! And the baby's up. The dog's barking. My son's like, Daddy, what's that? And I'm like, that is the sound... that a dog makes directly before it goes to the animal farm in the sky. Fucker. That was a shithead. Listen, I want to know more about your time with Jeff at that house because I had some visions of what was going on over there.
How you guys take care of each other when you're in ill health. A little drizzle drizzle and a little honey.
That's right.
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Chapter 6: What are the effects of THC discussed in relation to a recent news story?
Only I never check the actual facts. So I go off on a tangent and I never actually check my facts.
Right.
Man, did I really screw the pooch this time. And I mean, I screwed the fucking pooch this time.
Maybe we need to put the disclaimer back in, fact, news, or fiction.
Well, we've got it on some new banners we're throwing out there because I think that might be right. Never believe anything you hear on this show. And I don't think anybody does because I already had 17 fucking text messages about this. And I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
Just say that. God, what is this?
I go, hey, Christina, you a Taylor Swift fan? You watching that NFL, that, you know, NFL with Taylor Swift? And she goes, nope, don't care a thing about it, right? I like Taylor Swift, but don't care a thing about NFL. And I go, yeah, you know, I watch it sometimes just trying to keep up with my brothers. But did you hear that?
They're making these terrible images of Taylor Swift and sending them around on this AI porn site. They're putting Taylor's head on these porn images. And they're pretty graphic and some of them are really disturbing. But anyway, that's a different story. And what I...
Thought that I read was that the Kansas City Chiefs fans are mad because they believe that Taylor has a curse on them and that when they lose football games, it's because of Taylor Swift. And so what I said was apparently they're ultra pissed off because the Kansas City Chiefs just lost a playoff game. And I went on and on about this for like 10 minutes.
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Chapter 7: How do Bryan and Krissy reflect on their experiences with cannabis?
You know what I think it was? I think I turned on one of the games and at that moment they were losing. And then I read about the Taylor Swift thing that Kansas City Chiefs fans were upset with Taylor Swift about whatever. And I put those two things together and in my head concluded that they in fact had lost that game based on whatever. I don't know. My mind's eye. That's me making shit up.
Your fifth eye. My fifth eye. My peen eye. From the mind of Brian's peni. It's peni peni pasta from Bryco. Have Brian's dick for breakfast, lunch, or dinner. So I'm sorry. I'm really sorry. I'm saying this to all the people who texted and emailed. I'm really sorry. I just didn't know because I don't know much about the NFL, if anything at all, apparently.
And I just didn't understand that the Kansas City Chiefs had not, in fact, lost the game. And so I apologize. And congratulations to the Kansas City Chiefs. The San Francisco 49ers. I looked that up. I wrote that down. Make sure I got those names right. They're going to the Super Bowl. Halftime show by who? Usher. Usher. Usher.
Usher.
We are all going to rock to Usher, hometown boy. Yeah. He's from Atlanta. Yes, he is. I think he came up to Scam Cole FM one time, actually. Usher did. I have a picture somewhere of me and him. That's exciting. Taylor Swift is going. So another person asked me, you know, what do you think about Taylor Swift and being at the NFL? How much time the NFL spends on it?
And I think we talked about this briefly.
We did.
Listen, I got to say this about Taylor Swift in general. And I don't know if you're going to agree with me on this, but I'll say this. In a year where everything was so shitty, so terribly, terribly awful, and the world is coming apart at the seams, and there's war and famine and pestilence, basically it's the end of times. It's the end of days. In a time at the end of times.
We had one good feel-good story of the fucking year, and that was Taylor Swift and how well she did in all facets of her business and maybe personal life because she got together with this guy Kelsey, right?
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Chapter 8: What humorous plans do Bryan and Krissy make regarding a potential heist?
So I have to say, I ain't got no hate for Taylor Swift. I really don't. I say that it's not my favorite thing in the world, but it's a feel-good story that if you just take it at face value, it feels good. And in a lot of other disturbing news, you can always count on Taylor to give you a smile when it comes to... Whatever it is she does. Yes, everything she does.
Whatever it is she does.
Yes, anything that she does. And that includes being at those NFL games.
Yeah, I like it.
As much as the Chiefs fans might want to piss and moan.
I like her support. They look like a cute couple.
The Kansas City Chiefs have never been more popular. And who cares how you got there? Taylor Swift, Travis Kelsey, who cares how you got there? You're having your moment in the sun. And it's a feel good story that everyone get behind. And if they win the Super Bowl, the world will go fucking bananas.
The world will go bananas and you will no longer hate Taylor Swift until next season when she breaks up with him and then he's a big hot mess.
Oh, I want to see that.
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