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Chapter 1: What memorable experiences did Bryan have while touring with the Barenaked Ladies?
On this episode of The Commercial Break.
A lot of times they'd end up back at our apartment, partying till the wee hours in the morning. Drugs all over the place, liquor all over the place, nudity all over the place. I got hit on so much, I don't even know which way my head was turning sometimes. But sometimes I was really cautious. I had dated dancers before. I knew dancers.
And you had lived with dancers before.
I had lived with dancers, yes. I lived with dancers. I was 17. I kicked out on my own, bringing my dad's mattress with me. And he demanded it. He didn't want me back. He wanted the mattress back. That's what he was worried about. The mattress I had had for 12 years of my life, my dad was worried about. He's better now, by the way.
He's better now.
Much better grandfather than he was father. But I was also a dick. So I was a dick. He was a dick. It was two dicks rubbing each other the wrong way.
The next episode of The Commercial Break starts now.
Yeah, boy! Oh, yeah, cats and kittens, welcome back to The Commercial Break. I'm Brian Green. This is my dear friend and the co-host of this show, Chris and Joy Hoadley. Best to you, Chris. Best to you, Brian.
Best to you out there in the podcast universe. It's two for Thursday. Not quite as ringy as two for Tuesday, but we'll take it. We're here on a Thursday recording episodes just for you because we love you and we want you to be happy all the time. Every time. All the time.
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Chapter 2: What controversial actions has JLo taken that caused public backlash?
Who hot, who not. Don't look J-Lo in the eye. Who not? TCB. On the block. We did that for months.
We did.
Months. And every time it pops up, I think, that was funny. But I wonder if we just did it too much and now I don't find it so funny anymore. But maybe I'll bring it back.
Yeah, we can go back to it.
Who knows? Who know? Who don't? Who know? Who not? Brian's brain in a knot. Okay. All right. The fucking Trump administration had a sit-room meeting about the Epstein files. Did you read about this? No. Okay. New York Times comes out with a big article. The situation room in the White House.
where wars are planned, nuclear codes are had, the best brains and all of the military might that history has ever known goes into that room to talk about very serious things. Situations. Situations. People dying, terrorist attacks, murder cases, stuff that is super important to the national security and sometimes the world's security. The situation room is where it all goes down.
Watch an episode of The West Wing. The best interpretation of the situation sit room I've ever seen is there inside of that West Wing. And it's a very serious place where unserious things don't get talked about. However. The Trump administration decided that the Epstein crisis was getting so out of hand that they needed to do a meeting in the Situation Room.
And when they did a meeting in the Situation Room, they did it about Donald Trump's appearance in the Epstein files. Now, here's what takes this over the edge. That in and of itself is insane to me that you would have a meeting about the Epstein files in the Situation Room. It takes the Epstein files to a whole new level.
First of all, second of all, what was really being talked about is that some woman had claimed she was sexually assaulted by Donald Trump and that that sexual assault happened. When that sexual assault happened, she presented part of the evidence that she presented as this really did happen was that Donald Trump had a nipple fetish.
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Chapter 3: How did JLo's team prepare for her restaurant visit?
God, just think of Donald Trump's nipples.
No, no.
They're probably the pointy downtown. You know what I'm saying? Like the cow milk.
I did not need that visual.
I imagine they don't have color either. Like they're not like brown nipples. They're just like my hand colored nipples. With that gray hairs growing out of them.
Yeah.
God bless Melania Trump. God bless her. But they spent a good amount of time. J.D. Vance, Kash Patel.
Only the best minds.
The brightest minds in all the world were talking about Donald Trump's nipple fetish and whether or not they should release files related to his nipple fetish. JD Vance made the argument. Yes, we should get out in front of it. Just let it all go. And then at least they can't say that we were hiding it. Right. And everybody else was like, no, Donald doesn't want his nipples talked about. Nipples.
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Chapter 4: What is the impact of celebrity behavior on public perception?
Something really bad, tragic, super tragic happens in that UFC 250. I think it's going to be like a whole fucking shit show. I don't know why they would even think about this. People get really seriously hurt.
I think even Joe Rogan was saying, like, what are they doing? It's the heat.
The heat that's going to be... The heat, the flies, the gnats, the rats, everything. There's no control over it. And these fighters already have enough to deal with. And now they're going to deal with rain, wind, gnats, all the other things that can come into play, the X factors when it comes to weather. They're going to do all of that.
And for no glory whatsoever, because I can guarantee you this is going to be the same shit show that the Kid Rock halftime show was, that the 250 state fair, country fair, whatever they put together was with Millie fucking Vanilli, which doesn't even have a Vanilli anymore. It's just Millie, Millie, Millie. With Milli Milli, iced tea, vanilla ice.
Maybe it should be Milli Vanilla is what it should be. And those two should get together and do some songs. And now it's going to be Donald Trump and Lee Greenwood. Lee Greenwood?
They keep trotting out Lee Greenwood. Or Lee Greenwood. In a bench. The bench.
I remember hearing Lee Greenwood say one time, he's like, hey, listen, I'm not a fan of one particular candidate or another. I'm just happy that my song is getting all this attention. How do you feel now, Lee Greenwood? You're the only act. Even Vanilla Ice got fucked. Poor Vanilla Ice.
He did. He was sticking with it, too.
I know. Well, of course he was.
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Chapter 5: What insights did Tom Green share about his career and podcasting?
Handel, the composer, is there. Beethoven. No, I don't know if I would do that, but I think it would be cool if he was. But you've got to go there, Chrissy. I will. You're not cultured enough.
Maybe when we go to Venice. When are you going to Venice? No, no, Rome. When we go to Rome. We talked about this yesterday. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. We're going to go to Rome. For the podcast conference. That's right. And then maybe when I'm over there, I'll pop over to London.
How do I get my boss to pay for both of us to go? I think it's just something he needs to do.
Just expense it. Write it off. Yeah. It's a write-off.
It's an extra $15,000 to go to Rome. I was looking at tickets yesterday. I'm like, well, I'd love to justify this, but I don't know that I can. I think I can, but I don't know that I can. I was like, I got to start making meetings. Oh, it's totally insane. It's crazy. It's insane. You can't just pick up and go to Venice like you used to be able to do. No.
You can't go for the weekend like you used to be able to. It's awful. Things are getting crazy. Yeah. We got to stop this war. Yes. We got to release the Epstein files.
And it looks like things are ramping back up.
They're bombing the shit out of them again. And God bless, because people die in those things. And that makes me sad. Yeah. Because, you know, it's not all bad guys. I'm sure it's not. War is fucking hell. And it's not all bad guys. And it goes both ways. So don't expect that, you know, we've heard the last of this. So if we get out of the sit room and stop talking about your nipples...
Maybe we can fix this war. You know what I'm saying? God damn it. If only the Barenaked Ladies were back together. Listen, Rush is back together. Why are you not the Barenaked Ladies?
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