Chapter 1: What preparations are needed for a spooky investigation?
Once you have your sheets, it's time to make sure you have all your bedside accoutrements. Fresh cat's milk, whiskey, and a cabinet full of lucky bones and hair to keep the night terrors away. On this episode of the Commercial Break.
Hi, it's your favorite Best Of episode creator, Christina, here with our last episode of the week. I hope you've been enjoying this little rewind, but I know we're all looking forward to some brand new episodes too. I definitely am, because it means less talking for me.
Since I've taken this last week to address some of our TCB show lore, and also it's spooky season, I thought it simply wouldn't be complete without... You guessed it, mountain monsters. Huck, Buck, Willie, and Billy Cowboys, take me away.
The next episode of The Commercial Break starts now. Finally, I'm going to announce to you something that probably has no suspense whatsoever. We're going to do a Mouth Monsters episode. The Mothman has been requested by the Cademan himself. Mothman. The Mothman. He says he's got to do this episode. One of our favorites. I love it. And I said, you know what? Why not give the kids what they want?
Plus, it's good content for the show.
the content i was missing mountain monsters actually i was too i think it's been months since we've done a mountain monsters and you know we did a frankie b on our 500th because of course frankie b but then mountain monsters also does play some kind of you know smaller but just as important part i think in our show in the lore and that is gives you something to listen to besides us that's funny you know what i'm saying
So here is the Mothman episode. They are chasing the Mothman, which I have no idea what it is. Haven't watched the video yet. First time. I'm a virgin. You're a virgin. Everybody's a virgin here. We're all going to go in hard. We're going to go in raw dogging, mountain monsters, Mothman. Here we go.
night one investigation hold up guys hold up we're in mason county looking for a mothman we're in mason county which i just made up we're in mason county which is where we have been every other episode of mountain monsters right here behind the walmart in mason county the field behind the walmart at mason county i've seen some The mothman in this area goes back many, many years.
These mothman sightings go hand in hand with tragedy. They go hand in hand with a good Reddit post. These guys are really bundled up.
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Chapter 2: What is the significance of Mountain Monsters in TCB lore?
It must be cold out there. Mason Callaghan. Huck and buck and suck and fuck. They're all out there doing it. He seems to have mystic powers. He hypnotizes people. You're white as a sheet, bud. Oh, guys, I'm allergic to hypnotizing. I got a doctor's note. I can't do this one. It makes me break out in hives and dance like a chicken. I one time got hypnotized by the guy... The guy at the local fair.
You know, the kings and the knights and stuff. What's that called? The Renaissance Fair. I got hypnotized by the Renaissance Fair guy. And for three days, I walked around like a chicken with my pants off. The other guy just said to Buck. Which one is he? That's Buck. Or Huck. No, that's Buck. That's Huck. I don't know.
We've been doing this for five years and I still don't know the names of these guys. We need a little chart. He just said, you're white. You're really white. Meanwhile, he's got a headlamp shining on his face. I know. First of all, second of all, he was really white in the first place. I'm sorry, but I don't see Buck as the kind of guy that gets to Cabo very often.
Yeah.
I could be wrong. I could be wrong. Seems to have mystic powers. He hypnotizes people. You're white as a sheet, Buck. I'm all right. I'm all right. I'm all right. That was Buck. I haven't gotten to tan bed this week. It's something we've never had to deal with before.
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Chapter 3: What is the story behind the Mothman episode?
Hang on a second. Hang on a second. I got the runs. I'll be right back. Hang on one second. That Baconator's coming back up on me, boys. I'm going to have to go into the Walmart and blow that bathroom up. Destroy it. We're going to destroy that restroom. Could you do me a favor, security guards? Run in there and see if you can't clear out that portalette. Oh, man. Buck just went down.
And I mean, he really went down. Like, let's see. He actually went down. Wow. That almost doesn't look fake. Wow. That Baconator did come back up on him.
Wow.
So you can't see this because you're listening to the show, but they're all standing around. The four main characters in Mountain Monsters are standing around. And Buck, who I think is generally known as the leader of the group, he's a very big boy. And he just falls over. But it kind of looks real. He base planted. Yeah. Buck, Buck, Buck. We can't get him up now. Buck, Buck. Buck, are you okay?
Because if I'm not mistaken, you just passed out. And at your size, you probably had a heart attack or a stroke. But let me not dither. Let me ask you if you're okay. Like, shouldn't you immediately get emergency aid? These guys are standing around saying his name. The guy just went headfirst into the ground. Guys, he ain't faking it. Come on, Buck. He ain't faking.
All right, let me get a Red Bull. Like usual. Let me get a Red Bull and a couple honey buns. We'll get him back up. These poor guys like Elvis. They just keep plugging him full of fluids and trying to get him out on stage. Hang on now. Just lay there for a minute. Hang on. You okay, Buck? Breathe easy. As if he was going to get up on his own anytime soon. Like, lay down for a minute. Breathe easy.
You hit pretty hard. Aw, he's rubbing them. Aw, they really do love each other. They're like little friends. There's a little group of friends running after Mothman out there. That's what me and my friends do when our day's off.
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Chapter 4: How do Mothman sightings relate to tragedy?
You passed out. Come on, get up. Set him up. Hang on, hang on. Stay right there. Hang on, hang on. I got some gas stuck in my rectum. Hang on, hang on. Let me adjust my monster cock.
I got you.
Talk to me. Talk to me. Where's my flashlight? We got it. We got all that stuff. We'll take care of you. Where's my flashlight? What we're going to do is continue to keep rolling. Yeah, I'm just going to keep rolling. No medical attention really needed. Wait, where's my flashlight and my Costco membership card? Get those two things before I get up. I have no clue what just happened to me.
We walk into the woods and then... Well, I'm not a doctor, but I am the third Huckleberry on this show. And if I had to take a guess, you were hypnotized by the Mothman. I'm just kind of dizzy. And the next thing I know, I open my eyes. I'm on the ground looking up at Huckleberry and Jeff. And they told me that I passed out. That's exactly what I want to see if I pass out.
Huckleberry and Jeff on top of me. Brian! Brian! I just wake up and then pass right back out. I'm like, ah! Huckleberry and Jeff. Huckleberry and Jeff. Well, thank God Huckleberry and Jeff were there. Yes. Doing nothing for you but rubbing your belly. I feel better. Stand up a little bit. I've seen something strange. I don't remember really what's going on. I just feel a little weird.
I don't know. You got my shotgun? That'll make me feel better. I'm feeling dizzy. You got my gun? I'm feeling dizzy and hypnotized and all out of sorts. You got my gun? Loaded? Can I point it in multi-directions? What if he just takes a gun and starts swinging it around? How's everybody doing? Hopefully I won't fall down again. Your thing covered here. You just worry about yourself.
You just take care of Buck. All right? Your bandana? Yeah. Thanks, guys. They gave him some therapy lessons there.
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Chapter 5: What challenges do the crew face during their investigation?
They're like, you take care of yourself. You do you, Buck. It's Buck time. You need some self-love right there, buddy. Go draw a bath. Get yourself a good magazine and a nice bottle of rosé. You're going to be right as rain by tomorrow. Bachelor finale's on. Go watch it with Brian. Grab my shotgun. We got it. Oh, that's his beard. I thought it was a hazmat suit.
Well, he's like a walking hazmat suit. Like you should have a hazmat suit if you're around him almost. That's scary. Well, that sucks. Guess we have to keep filming. We've got to get that Mothman. Let us not delay. The Mothman needs our attention. I hope he's all right.
I do, too.
I hope he's all right. We probably should go to the hospital with him, but we're going to stay here with our headlamps and run around like little children looking for Mothman. I just don't know. I can't explain it.
bucket now it's the next day just to keep you abreast of what's going on at his sighting and was clearly shaken up by what he saw that night now it's time to go after the mothman oh now it's time to go after the mothman that was just a free yeah that was a pre-launch party yeah that's a little tailgating before the fish concert I've seen stranger stuff at a widespread panic show.
I see that every time. Guys going down on their face and other guys standing around going, hello? Hello? Crash's idea that these electrical currents attracted the Mothman just may lead to an idea that may help us devise a trap. Wait, who's this guy Trapper who's showing up now? I don't know. It almost looked like this may be an earlier episode. Earlier or later episode, yeah.
Well, because it said Buck and then below it said Rookie. Oh, it said rookie? Yeah. Oh, he does look younger in this episode, too. Yeah, we don't know because we don't do any research before we start this show. We aren't aware of all the comings and goings of everybody because we fail to do any homework whatsoever.
I'm reading this article the other day about podcasts and spreading misinformation on podcasts. And the girl who wrote the article, which was, I think, well done, but a little snarky, was like, because podcasts, all they do is just claim they don't know anything while they spread misinformation. We really don't know anything. So, yeah.
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Chapter 6: What did the team learn from their encounter with the Mothman?
But luckily, we're only spreading misinformation about mountain monsters, so I don't think we're harming anybody. Here we are, Bill. Normally, when I design traps, I design them for... Willie! It's my rat! My rat grew up to be a mountain monster! You did it, Willie! You did it! You survived! The legend! The legend of Willie! He's now a trap builder for the mountain monsters.
It makes total sense. It makes total sense. Oh, I love this. He went down into the sewers. You freed Willie and look what he became. I freed Willie. He went down into the sewers. He's like a teenage mutant. Yeah, he came in contact with nuclear waste and he became a mountain monster. I'm so glad things turned out for you. It's me, Daddy. It's me. Daddy, come back. You can sit on my shoulder.
You're a little big, but you can sit on my shoulder again. Just like the old times. I'll put you in a box with some of that shaved up cardboard. You'll be fine. Things will be great, just like they used to be. Oh, Ben, the two of us need look no more. and being able to hold and contain whatever creatures we're after. This one's totally different. I've heard about them all, man.
That thing can just go from here. Look, Wild Bill, this was before he was yelling. Oh, yeah. He was calm back then before the producers started saying, well, you're just not interesting enough. How's that? What have I just done? Y'all are all the time like this. Yep, yep. Hey, come here, yonder mothman.
Chapter 7: How does the crew react to unexpected events during the hunt?
I'll be down by the creek. Yep. Turn, just a matter of seconds. Any kind of trap that I build, we're going to drop down over top, and he can teleport right on the outside of the cage. Teleport? What is this? Star Trek. He can teleport outside the cage? Why are you trying to build a cage for a creature that can teleport outside cages? It doesn't make much sense. And be free again.
So what I got here is a cage that I can electrify, which he can't teleport through electricity. You know basically how a bug zapper works. Yeah. Well, this is. Yeah, I sure do. Yeah, you needed to crank it up a notch. I sure do. I've been, I got five of those in front of my house on my front porch. I knock into them every once in a while. Largest bug zapper you ever seen. Giant, giant bug zapper.
Giant, giant. What does giant, giant mean? Giant, giant. Oh, he said giant, giant? I thought he said jab, jab. Wait one second. Let's go back. You might be right. Jab, jab. Jab, jab. I think he said jab, jab. It's his own mountain monster language. But, of course, he's talking to a full-sized rat mutant. A mutant rodent. So he does probably have to tailor his language to his audience. I got it.
I understand. This is the idea I come up with. Two before galvanized electrifying wire. And I got this high-voltage electric box that I brought with me. This will build me enough juice. I've got this extremely dangerous high-voltage lightning box we're going to put right under the high-powered transmission lines.
I know it showed those big, like, electrical lines going through the whole, like, 10 acres. Yeah, we've all seen it. Driving down the road somewhere a little rural, and then out of nowhere, there's, like, these huge power lines. They look like ski slopes. Yeah, ski slopes. They just go on forever. The ski things. The ski lifts.
Those are the high wattage power lines that consist that make up the grid in the United States. And they connect and they go for hundreds of miles, maybe thousands of miles. I don't know. But they're underneath these things because they think that's where the Mothman is going to be attracted to. And their bright idea is to put yet another high voltage electrical thing right under the hybrid.
It's so dumb. Yeah.
Yeah.
Be able to energize this whole cage. Pull it up to the top of the bridge. Set the old burger. Once he gets up underneath of it, motions will set it off. Cage drops down around through him. He's home to stay. He cannot teleport to the outside. He can't touch the side of the cage. Can't teleport. I'm pretty sure if someone could teleport, electricity is not going to stop them. But I don't know.
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Chapter 8: What comedic moments arise during the Mountain Monsters investigation?
I'm going to go shake up my Mountain Dew meth bottle and I'll be right back. And we'll get her done. This is a unique cage trap. It's actually the biggest bug zapper ever built. There is some tall stuff, brother. I've rewired up my bug zapper here at the house a time or two to be able to catch these moths and millers and these damn little gnats. Who's at home rewiring their bug zapper?
Who does that? I'm pretty sure people on Crystal Meth like to do that kind of thing, don't they? Don't they like to take apart TVs and put them back together and... You know when you're at home rewiring your bug zapper. When you're at home rewiring your bug zapper after a long day at a party with chiropractors. You know how it goes. Oh, Lord. Okay, let's do this. Let's take a break.
Let's take a break, and then we'll get back to our good friends here at Mountain Monsters. We'll be back.
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All right, we're back in our own Faraday cage over here at the commercial break. Let's get back to the Mountain Monsters. They're currently building the world's largest bug zapper, which imagine what these guys could do if they put... To fly around and aggravate you and bug you, but I've never in my life built a bug zapper this big. Why would you? I mean, for what reason? Is he drunk?
Yeah, he is something. First of all, yeah, I think as the seasons go on, he gets drunker, and that's why he gets louder. But he is something. Or maybe that's just the way he is. I don't know. Seems like a nice enough guy. Just does a lot of weird talking. Jab, jab! Damn, that thing starts easy. So now they're... Damn, that thing starts easy. Yeah, I know. Dang, that thing starts easy.
I don't trust things to start that easy. Plug it in right there, Bill, and I'll show you how this little machine works right here. Flip her on, brother. Power. You turn it on. Electro cubes. That's amazing. That's how it works. He's like the real life. Remember King of the Hill? Yeah. The dad? No, the guy who would just mumble. Boomhauer.
What I come up with is having a cage that I can electrify. He can't teleport through electricity. How do you know that? Who has been teleporting through electricity or not? Yeah, of course. Right back here, buddy. Oh, Lord. Oh, yeah. Ah, you see them two resistors right there? You see those two resistors right there? You want to have a great Friday night? Stick your dick in it.
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