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The Commercial Break

Big Corporate Baby Oil

03 Dec 2024

Transcription

Chapter 1: What strange foods do the hosts discuss?

0.031 - 15.29 Krissy Hoadley

I feel pretty, you know, awful inside, but I'm enjoying myself because I have got some new friends and it's just pretty strict, but I think I'll be alright.

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19.235 - 25.443 Unknown

On this episode of the Commercial Break... Well, it all does go back to P. Diddy.

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25.463 - 36.427 Bryan Green

It all comes back to P. Diddy. It all comes back to Baby Oil. This is a conspiracy by Big Oil, Baby Oil, Big Corporate Baby Oil.

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39.451 - 60.295 Unknown

Big Corporate Baby Oil wants us to believe that P. Diddy was the reason Baby Oil was sold out during the pandemic. But no, no, don't you believe it for a second. Big Baby Oil knows different. The next episode of The Commercial Break starts now.

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62.84 - 70.589 Bryan Green

Oh yeah, cats and kittens, welcome back to the commercial break. I'm Brian Green. This is my dear friend and the co-host of this show, Kristen Joy Hoadley. Best to you, Chrissy.

70.609 - 71.43 Unknown

Best to you, Brian.

71.47 - 72.911 Bryan Green

You're the shrimp paste on my mango.

Chapter 2: What was the experience with the live baby octopus?

72.931 - 93.917 Bryan Green

What else can I say? There you go. Chrissy and I doing hard research here at the commercial break. We learned a new delicacy. Yes, we learned a new delicacy. Shrimp paste and mango. Mango, mango, mango. Which sounds like... It tastes like puke in my mouth. That's what it sounds like. But, hey, who am I to judge? There are different cultures and different foods for everybody. What's this?

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94.117 - 97.822 Bryan Green

I think we've asked this before, but what is the strangest food you think you've ever put in your mouth?

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98.043 - 106.234 Unknown

Yeah, I don't know. I can't remember. I mean, I've eaten, like, probably it would be maybe related to the sushi world.

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106.815 - 111.501 Bryan Green

Yeah. For me, it's got to be live baby octopus or beef heart.

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111.881 - 114.225 Unknown

One of the two. And I haven't had either one of those. Ugh.

114.906 - 115.206

Ugh.

115.726 - 123.319 Bryan Green

Just the whole, like, yeah. I went to a beautiful restaurant on Berkeley, near Berkeley in San Francisco.

Chapter 3: What is Bryan's Accutane journey and its impact?

124.281 - 142.471 Bryan Green

We were just kind of traveling around the campus area over there in that retail district, going in and out of record stores. I mean, they do have some really fantastic places, little out-of-the-way places there. And we... Went down some alleyway, down some stairs. And don't ask me how we got there. But then there was like a door that we opened.

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142.491 - 157.453 Bryan Green

And then there was we were all of a sudden in this dark, damp basement. And there was like a paper door that we like slid open. One of those like real Japanese doors. And there was a restaurant no bigger than this room. And I'm not even kidding. There was like 12, 13, maybe 15 seats in there.

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157.473 - 158.254 Unknown

A little hidden secret.

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158.234 - 178.823 Bryan Green

I know. Two top tables, like four of them, and then like bar chairs around. And they had a window, but it went nowhere. It's just like a window to a brick wall. And it looked authentically Japanese because it was authentically Japanese. So Japanese that no one there spoke English. At least not to us, they didn't.

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Chapter 4: How do bad tanning habits affect skin health?

178.983 - 198.27 Bryan Green

And the menu is in Japanese. And I'm not even sure that they had a... I'm not even sure the health department had ever visited. But, I mean, it looked clean enough. It looked wonderful. And so at the time, you know, I was up for a challenge. I said, all right, let's eat here. The lady that I was with, the young lady that I was with, loved sushi. That was her thing.

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198.53 - 217.19 Bryan Green

And so I was like, okay, let's do an authentic experience. So we get this menu. It's all in Japanese. I have no fucking clue. And there's some pictures, but it doesn't none of it looks like stuff I would eat. Right. And so I asked the waiter in English because I know no Japanese. Give us what the chef would give us. Give us the chef's tasting.

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217.25 - 223.957 Bryan Green

And eventually, after like some hand gestures and drawing pictures with a pencil, I think he figured out.

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223.977 - 224.637 Unknown

Food in mouth.

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Chapter 5: What conspiracy theories are mentioned regarding P. Diddy?

224.657 - 250.647 Bryan Green

Yeah, food in mouth. Chef, you know, chop, chop, chop, chop. Yeah. Dumb American need worse food you have. For most price. So he got it. He was like, ah, sucker born every day. Here they come. And the first course comes out. Fine. Whatever. It's some kind of, I think, calamari, squid, something. Not cooked, but okay. All right. You know, you put some, there's a little sauce with it. Ate it.

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250.747 - 254.612 Bryan Green

A little spicy, a little sweet. I liked it. Very good. Next one comes out.

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Chapter 6: How does the episode explore the concept of the inner child?

254.752 - 255.893 Bryan Green

It is a plate.

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255.873 - 283.686 Bryan Green

with ice on it and then there are like i don't know how to describe it you know how sometimes if you eat escargot you'll get it in those like that like a plate with little bowls in them like little tiny little bowls but i have not eaten escargot oh that's another pleasantry that i could skip all together escargot not my favorite so in there were and it was like the ice was like there was some dry ice it was like you know that kind of smoke coming out from it and

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283.666 - 302.303 Bryan Green

And he put it down, and in there was what looked like a baby octopus, right? A little tiny octopi. And I was like, oh, okay, all right. I like a little octopi. I don't mind that. That's good. Right? It didn't look cooked, but okay, whatever. Surely they're not going to give me anything that's going to kill me. Surely.

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303.124 - 310.891 Bryan Green

And then as I went to go grab the chopsticks, as I picked one up, I realized that the tentacles were wiggling.

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310.911 - 314.88 Unknown

They were swimming. It was swimming. Was it swimming? Was it in water? No, no, no, no. Oh, okay. It was just on the ice.

Chapter 7: What are the dangers of bad tanning habits and skin cancer?

314.9 - 334.741 Bryan Green

On the dry ice? Yes. They were so chilled that they were like sleeping, right? They were like in that state of, oh, shit, my body just shut down because, of course, it's a cold-blooded animal. So it just kind of just went to sleep, I guess. I don't know, Chrissy. Because all I know is now I'm in it. Now I'm there. Now the girl I'm with is challenging. Like now it's a challenge.

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334.761 - 337.003 Bryan Green

And she was a challenge altogether, right?

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337.103 - 339.106 Unknown

Right. Yeah, she was. And you love a good challenge.

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339.166 - 340.307 Bryan Green

I do love a good challenge.

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Chapter 8: What humorous anecdotes are shared about skin issues?

340.367 - 355.404 Bryan Green

I wasn't going to back down from this. Listen, I'm not the most manly man in the world. But when someone puts me to a test, I don't know. I very rarely turn down something really idiotic. Like I'm just going to go ahead and do it. Yeah. And as I'm putting it in my mouth, it is coming back to life.

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356.645 - 357.126 Unknown

It is like, ah. Oh, God.

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357.106 - 379.097 Bryan Green

And I was like, oh shit, this is live baby octopus. And I put it in my mouth and it squiggled around and I could feel it and I swallowed it. I just, I didn't take any bites. I swallowed it and I could feel it squiggling in the back of my throat. Absolutely terrible. There was nothing like, I don't remember a taste to it, but I remember all of the texture. She did not, bitch.

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379.117 - 381.24 Unknown

I was like, oh my God, come on.

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381.22 - 402.722 Bryan Green

You got to be kidding me. So there were, I think, five of them in this little thing. And we just left four of them sitting there. And eventually they really started to squiggle around. And I was like, and then so the waiter came back and I was like, those are alive. Like, those are not cooked alive. And he was just like, you know, he's like bowed to me like I had done something great.

402.702 - 420.128 Bryan Green

And, you know, hey, listen. But then as the night wore out, as the night went on, I noticed that we weren't the only one who got this dish. And there were other people who were eating it also. And I thought, wow, that's brave. That is the freshest kind of sushi you can get is the kind that's still alive. And it was not pleasant.

420.148 - 420.769 Krissy Hoadley

For sure, yeah.

420.789 - 429.342 Bryan Green

Not pleasant at all. And I don't remember the rest of the meal being particularly pleasant either. What I do remember is like the $280 bill I got in the end. I mean, it was expensive.

429.362 - 429.602 Unknown

Of course.

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