Chapter 1: What unusual pregnancy scenarios are discussed in this episode?
Jamie.
Yeah.
How cold is it out there?
I'm wearing two pairs of panties so my lips don't get chapped. You tell me.
On this episode of the Commercial Break.
I've got two ass babies going on right now. I sit on them all the time. You ever had an ass baby, Chrissy? Longer gestation period, hemorrhoids, a whole nine yards. But this ass baby's a little bigger than that ass baby. You want to take a look? You want me to show you? No. No? Okay. You think Jizzle Drizzle will get mad at me?
The next episode of The Commercial Break starts now.
Welcome back to the commercial break. I'm Brian Green. This is the wife of the master of the jizzle-drizzle, Kristen Joy Hoadley. Best to you, Kristen.
Best to you, Brian.
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Chapter 2: How do Stanley Cups relate to today's discussion?
Not house moms high on Vicodin waiting in Starbucks at six in the morning for them to open for this. They get a lottery number. So they get a Stanley Cup. And listen, if you're one of those people, what are you thinking? What are you doing? Stop it. Stop it. People are beating each other up literally for a pink Stanley Cup. It's a fucking cup.
Jesus. Maybe a cup is better than a beanie baby, though.
Yeah, but they're still doing the Beanie Babies. People are still going crazy over Beanie Babies. I just went to the Cabbage Patch Doll place. Under duress, I might add. I went to the Cabbage Patch Doll place because my, you know, Susan decided she wanted to get the kids a Cabbage Patch Doll. I was all excited about it.
You went to Babyland General?
We went to Babyland General.
Did you use a cyst and a birth?
I did. It was kind of cute.
I have it on tape. It's pretty cute.
Yeah. Well, you can, you pull them out of the cabbage. Like you pick your one and it pulls out of the cabbage. Yeah. It's, they're no longer actual human beings who pretend to be doctors. At least I didn't see that whole thing. I went to Babyland General when we first moved here as a kid.
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Chapter 3: What is a cryptic pregnancy and how does it differ from normal pregnancies?
Literally hoodwinked into buying anything that looks pretty, seems interesting, but more likely is that we see other people that find it interesting or cool, and then we have to get it also. Why do you need a pink Stanley Cup? I just don't understand what's the allure of having one of those. But now I do have to say this. You buy them for like $37, right? These big Starbucks pink cup.
They're selling for $300 plus on eBay and StockX and these other places.
Why?
I don't fucking know, Chrissy. I couldn't in my head for the love of me.
The status of the pink cup.
I think Stanley Cups are the new NFTs, if I'm being honest with you.
Okay.
They hold no value whatsoever, but people are going crazy over them. I just don't get it. On top of all of that, on top of the fact that you're waiting in line, it's minus 17 degrees. You're waiting for one of the 10 cups that each Starbucks gets or whatever it is. You're in fistfights. You're screaming and yelling. People are stealing them. It's like armed robbery for a fucking Stanley Cup.
On top of that, they are finding that these things are testing positive for lead.
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Chapter 4: What are the implications of having multiple uteruses?
I ate lead paint as a kid and I find that I'm just fine.
Yeah, you're completely fine.
Yeah, I'm angry.
that's what it does it makes you angry i just don't get it i don't get why we're all obsessed with all this bullshit i really don't i don't get obsessed about any of that stuff no look behind you there's all those pearl jam posters on the wall everybody's got there's everybody's got something i know i'm just as guilty as everybody else i just really i don't know i watch all these tiktok videos of these people going crazy over these cups and i'm like it's a fucking cup it's a fucking cup
Yeah, the social media drives all that, too. It really does. You know, you see other people with it. You've got to have it. It looks cool.
You have to have it.
That's what I've done on social media.
Listen, there's got to be something that we do. First of all, I want to say that the Piggy Frontique stickers are going out the door. And a lot of people are asking for them. And I think that's great. I'm hoping they're going to be pleasantly surprised and not underwhelmed when they get a one-by-one sticker. Yeah. Piggy fronting. But, you know, people make mistakes.
But there are some people who are getting a little silly. They're asking for like multiple amounts of stickers. They want multiple things written on them. They want... Oh. As if... We already spent money on the stickers, and then we put a nice postcard in there. And then if you want it signed or something signed, we, of course, take the time to do that. But then you want multiples.
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Chapter 5: How do the hosts react to the concept of 'no bones babies'?
The guy on Dateline? He'd be like, and on the third night, something different happened.
Oh yeah, that guy. The main guy.
Murder. murder in this lovely town was it him could it be it might be and you're like wow that's a weird affectation you have but i'm drawn in every time i hear keith morrison's voice i'm like wow keith morrison i know their podcast is the same way oh it is yeah i had to finish listening to one just to hear exactly what happened but after a while i was like okay like
get to it yeah get to it come on let's uh do we need to need a really 17 episodes did he will they did he will he are these flowers as if is this rose in bloom we shall see yeah this little community will now find out never be the same
same yeah it's weird how he writes i do love me some keith morrison yeah if i we could have keith morrison on the show or if we could have keith morrison do our opening like and now the commercial break will they won't they forget to press record i bet he might be available You think he... He might be. I don't think the guy from Dateline is interested in being on the commercial break.
You never know. Hold on one second. Morrison. You know the Keith Morrison guy. Here, let's... He might be on Cameo. Let's see. He's probably on Cameo.
And that way you could just get him to say it on Cameo.
Let's see if I can play a little Keith Morrison here.
Hello, I'm Keith Morrison. What is it they say? There's no such thing as the perfect guy. In our hiding in plain sight Dateline 24-7 marathon, that may well turn out to be true. That may well. Stream for yourself, all weekend long, only on Peacock. It's that weird expectation.
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Chapter 6: What is the audience's perspective on the guest's claims?
I don't know how she listens to it. Here's what I've realized about our show. You are really the orchestra of the show. And I am like, yeah, you know, if you go to like one of those operas or something like that, opera or a musical.
The maestro?
No, you're like the, you know, they talk and then they sing, right? Oh, okay. What you really go for, I think if you're going to one of those things, is you really go for the singing. You're really going to hear the good music, right? But the talking in between, okay, that's there. I feel like you're the singing. You're the beautiful orchestra and the singers.
And I'm just the annoying talking in between. I do most of the talking. But when I listen to the show, I do feel like you're the background music. You're what's making this show really take off and fly high.
Thank you.
Yeah. You're also the voice of reason. Are you blushing?
Or is that just all the cold medicine you've been taking? I'm thinking about how my voice doesn't sound very sing-song-like.
Well, okay, so it's not in top form right now, but it's understandable because you've got that cold that everyone has and it doesn't go away for any reason whatsoever. So I do want to say hi to Allison because I think she's been very sweet to the commercial break.
Thank you so much for the support.
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Chapter 7: What humorous anecdotes are shared about Dr. Phil?
I don't be liable for anyone's additional misery. That's true. I mean, what a cool thing to do. If you like giving out your personal phone number, what a cool thing to do.
And to take the time. Yeah.
And to take the time. If only we were on fireside and then we could communicate with.
I know, if only.
Have you been looking at that fireside lately? You see what's up there?
I know, like we talked about earlier, I'm rooting for them. I really want them to be good, but it kind of just hasn't caught fire, if you will.
No pun intended. I like Mark Cuban. Of course. I like Mark Cuban. I've met him. I've communicated with him. He's a really nice guy. He is really down to earth.
He will take the time. And Fallon was wonderful.
And then everybody else that we communicated with at Fireside was really cool.
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Chapter 8: What conclusions do the hosts draw about the medical claims made?
Oh, no, I was there.
Yes, you were dedicated.
I think it almost caused a divorce if I'm being honest. I'd be in bed at night because Astrid was like, you got to get out of that studio. Can't be there till three o'clock in the morning every day. But then so I'd get out at midnight and then I'd be in the corner like with my phone to my ear and I'd be like, yeah, I totally agree. I'd like to speak. I'd be like, what are you doing over there?
I'm good. Because someone would call me into a room and I'd feel so, I'd feel a little bit of pressure to come into the room. Like I was some big deal or something. I had to go into the room and talk more podcasting to somebody. But it was the hot thing there for a minute.
It was very hot.
I think a lot of people really enjoyed the fact that while we were all quarantined, couldn't see each other, couldn't travel, couldn't go outside, that there was some outlet that with other people where we didn't put ourselves in any kind of danger. Didn't have to wear a mask. We just sit at home and do our thing and talk to people. Now they've totally destroyed what was fascinating about that.
I'm sure you can still create a room. I think you can, but what they're really pushing are these voice notes or the voice storytelling or whatever. And I have no interest in that. I actually don't have any time for, for clubhouse anymore. I barely have time for this show. This is my main source of income. And by income, I mean bankruptcy. Yes. All right.
So let's take a break and then we'll come back. I want to talk to you about cryptic, a cryptid pregnancy, I think is what they call it. And we're going to get some advice. It sounds cryptic. And we're going to get some advice from one of the more cryptic people I know, Dr. Phil. So we'll be right back with the e-commercial break. We'll be back.
Ugh, finally. I feel like I was waiting forever for my turn to talk. Now that I have you, go to TCBpodcast.com to find all of our audio and video content and follow us on Instagram at The Commercial Break and on TikTok at TCBpodcast. Want it to be your turn to talk? Call us and spill the tea at 626-ASK-TCB3 and you may hear your voice on the show.
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