Chapter 1: Why did Bryan forget to press record?
Hey there, Jim Bob.
Hey there, Jeannie Lou.
Me and some of the girls are going to meet up this Saturday to get coffee after book club. Want to join? Well, I'd love to, but my measles is done acting up again. Are you suffering from monthly, weekly, or even daily flare-ups of your measles? Ask your doctor what Placebotide can do for you. Placebotide, also known as table salt, is a prescription drug targeting receptors in your brain.
Those receptors can make you believe that you can cure your own measles. Placebotide is known to be over 0.003% effective in all adults and 0% effective in all children.
I used to think my rash was contagious. I used to sit inside all day. I used to think my doctor would cure me. Now I can just wish it all away. Placid by tide makes my measles better.
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Chapter 2: What humorous stories emerge from Bryan's Starbucks boyfriend?
Placid by tide makes my rash a less redder. Placid by tide. Placebitide! Placebitide!
In rare circumstances, placebitide may have serious side effects. Consult your doctor if you experience any of the following. Rash, fever, better tasting chicken, high blood pressure, the inability to retain water, over-seasoned pasta and fruits, neighing like a horse, hospitalization due to measles, the actual measles, the retraction of invitations to social functions.
the inability to join other human beings in public places, losing touch with family members, losing touch with reality, and in rare cases, divorce.
I used to avoid indoor parties. I used to fear going outside. But now I love my little red bumps. I love my rash. It's pretty fly. I used to let my measles control me. Now I pretend I can control my measles.
Chapter 3: What controversies surround the new Snow White movie?
Get your life back on track and befriend your measles. Ask your doctor if Placebotide is right for you. Placebotide now has full FDA approval. If your doctor refuses to prescribe Placebotide, please contact your local sheriff's office and ask for citizen arrest instructions. Placebotide. Don't let those measly measles bring you down. Turn your rash into succotash with Placebotide.
On this episode of the commercial break. Well, hey there, cats and kittens. As does happen from time to time, Brian will forget to hit the record button while Chrissy and I waste an immense amount of our day trying to hit you in the giggle spot with some mediocre comedy. That happened yesterday. And since we just did 13 episodes of the commercial break over the weekend... RSS feed.
Yes, we like to call them TCB's lost episodes, but there's a reason why they're lost. They're probably not any good.
Chapter 4: How do the hosts feel about the return of the Seven Little Johnstons?
And fortunately or unfortunately for you, I'm going to have to run one of those today in lieu of any additional content. Listening back to this episode that we put in the can. It's not that bad. However, it will sound awful dated as we talk about Spring Break, the reboot of Snow White, and my favorite television show, The Seven Little Johnstons.
You'll excuse our brains just a little bit for being a tad foggy as us old folks in the old folks home need a couple extra reps to recover from working what everyone else in the world calls a normal day. all right enjoy this tcb lost episode and i promise i'm gonna remember to hit record tomorrow there's my maya copa it's all you get enjoy the next episode of the commercial break starts now
Yeah, cats and kittens, welcome back to the commercial break. I'm Brian Gray and this is my dear friend and the co-host of this show, Chris Joy Holdley. Best to you, Chris.
Best to you, Brian.
Best to you out there in the podcast universe. The 5.30 kind of slowed me down for a minute. 5.30!
Dinner time. Dinner time.
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Chapter 5: What is Placebotide and how is it humorously presented?
Chicken nuggets to serve. What was he serving? Chicken pot pie or some shit like that? Yeah, what was it? Chicken. Dumplings. Chicken and dumplings. Chicken and dumplings. Good old Mother's Day dinner with a weirdo in the corner that I didn't attend because I had to get my kids out of it. For their own safety. For their own safety. Yes. Oh, my mother. My good old mother.
She left me a message that some other people in the place are listening to the show and
Chapter 6: What are the implications of music singularity?
I thought, okay, well, you know, I won't be allowed there anymore. So that's good news. The old retirement home is going to kick me out. I don't know what to say anymore. There's going to be a picture of you on the front door that says if you see this guy. Yeah, see this guy. Yeah, no inties. No tixies, no taxis. No takesie-backsies. Which reminds me, like, I...
I go up to that Starbucks so much and I know a few people up there do know now about the commercial break, but they don't say anything, which is very nice of them. Some people have said a few things, but it's never been anything that made me feel uncomfortable. I do appreciate that. Not like I'm famous. That's not what I'm worried about.
Chapter 7: How do algorithms influence today's music industry?
What I'm worried about, quite frankly, is the things I say on this dumb fucking show that I'm going to say something that's going to offend somebody's sensibilities or they're going to hear something about my personal life that blows the nice guy. Brian walks in the door, grabs a cup of coffee. Says hi to everybody. How are the kids? How's the dog? Get that tooth fixed and then leaves, right?
No, he's really just a whiny old dickhead. That's what he is. He's a whiny old crabby crotchety former drug addict. That's what Brian is. But, you know, hey, listen, I very rarely get any shit, but I have met a few of the customers up there now. And one of the customers is we've kind of become friendly and I like the guy and he's an older gentleman and he's done well in life.
He sold a couple of companies. You know, he's got a dog that he always brings up there. And so the dog, after years of going up there and seeing this dog, I think the dog just kind of took a liking to me because it would come by.
Chapter 8: What reflections do the hosts share about societal changes and friendships?
He was on a leash, but I'd pet the dog. And eventually, hey, what's the dog's name? Hey, cool. Hey, what do you do? Hey, all right. Hey, I see you up here all the time. Cool. And now, you know, we have like little coffee dates or like little coffee boyfriends, right? He'll be like, I'm going up to the Starbucks. Oh, okay. I'll meet you there in 10.
I get dressed and put on my best perfume and head up there. I put on my makeup and I go up there. Fix your face. Yeah. And then we sit on the patio and we chit and we chat. Super, super nice guy. But he's got a fear of speaking in public. And he's got an event coming up. And it's his business, so I'm not going to share all the details.
But he's got an event coming up where he has no choice but to speak in public. And so I jump in. He didn't ask for the help, but I jumped in. And I think the original question was, how do you do it? Like, how do you get on the microphone and talk to all those people? Well, first of all, I don't see any of them. So that instantly eases my mind. And I don't even talk to them live.
When I was on the radio... Live, which only happened a very few times, because here's a little secret about radio. That's not even live. No, it's recorded minutes ahead of time and then pushed out. And most even if it's like live live, which happens very rarely, maybe like a morning show or something like that, it's on a two minute delay. So you're not even really live live.
You can dump it, but you can dump it and move to something else. So nothing really in any media, except for Twitch and YouTube, is really live-live anymore. That's a... That's a high wire act that very few people do. So I'm not nervous. I can go and I can edit out something that I say. Now, I very rarely do that because I'm so lazy.
But if I should say something that would be, you know, crazy, crass, rude, whatever, offensive, I just go edit it out. So I'm like, hey, dude, there's nothing to it. And he's like, well, I just don't understand because I just have this incredible fear of speaking in public. A lot of people do.
Yeah.
And I have owned companies. And when I have to get up and give speeches at those companies, you know, a couple times a year for whatever reason, he's like, I'm mortified. I'm terrified. He goes, sometimes I'm on a Zoom call and I get nervous. I'll bail. And I just pretend that the Zoom broke. I'll come back later and I'll just pretend that the Zoom broke. And I'm like, I get it.
It's not a particularly weird fear. There's lots of people that have this fear. Yeah. I would be lying if I say I feel perfectly calm walking up and speaking in front of people. But I have done it enough in my life. You have. That I have some coping mechanisms, mainly narcotics. I was going to say. Yes. Mainly little pills. Yeah.
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