Bryan, Lord Of The Acid
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What is the Polyoligon Ultra Fest?
This weekend only, experience the chills, thrills, and skills of Crabapple's largest operatic techno festival. The Polyoligon Ultra Fest is back and hotter than ever. Seriously, it's going to be 95 degrees, so pack your party wagon, grab your fanny pack, and put on your best sparkle tutu, because this three-day fest has it all. Oh, yeah. With headlining sets by DJ Sex Puppet, Nickel Mixa featuring Tottle Pocket, Italy's shortest operatic techno singer Rigatoni, and one very special late night set by saxophone beatmaster Poodle. Poodle. Plus, exciting performances from Mike McCrone and his fire-breathing dance ponies, Jill the Go-Go Clown Lady, Dirty Dave and his amazing flying Bible beaters, and tantra prostate massages by hand magician Raphael. Three long sweaty days and three never-ending smelly nights glamping with thousands of overly friendly strangers. You'll be hungry and tired by day, frustrated and dirty by night.
Free water from the community hose and two communal showers. You'll be wishing you had booked that expensive hotel. And new for this year's festival, free yoga provided by the misguided youth stretchers. An art market with over 30 artists peddling terrible art they bought on Team U. And plenty of food from random food trucks no inspector has ever had time to inspect.
What are St. Patrick's Day traditions?
Your tummy will be begging for more or begging for the door. So go to REI and buy an expensive tent you can't set up, load up on craft beer that'll go bad by Saturday morning, pack your best neon tights, put on your strongest deodorant, and head to Crabapple Fairgrounds where you'll be parking two miles away from your crowded tent site. Gates open on Thursday night to get the hangover started early. Music starts early Friday morning to wake you up irritated, and the party won't stop until Sunday, because who doesn't love to party on Sunday? The fifth annual Polyoligon Ultra Operatic Techno Festival. Come on, grab apple, drop the beat. Absolutely no glass or outside food will be allowed inside of festival grounds.
Due to previous incidents, no Y-Brien 3000 is allowed inside the gates. All ball gags must be checked at the door. No swimming allowed inside of the drinking water. Please refrain from sleeping in front of the stage. All children must be accompanied by a service animal.
On this episode of The Commercial Break...
The question is, Trey, are you up for it? You've said no once. Say no again.
I'll get Jeff to book it.
If Jeff books me at Mempho to do Lord of the Acid, I am down 100%. Fill my cup up with whatever and just send me out there with a heart monitor. Bootsy Collins and schools from widespread panic.
The next episode of the commercial break starts now.
Oh yeah, cats and kittens, welcome back to the commercial break. I'm Brian Green, this is my dear friend and the co-host of this show, Kristen Joy Hoadley. Best to you, Kristen.
Best to you, Brian.
Best to you out there in the podcast universe. How the hell are you? Walking into a St. Patrick's Day weekend? That's right. Of festivities and fun, where you certainly will puke on your shoes and lose your underwear. But that's okay. We're here to support you at the commercial break. We're here to encourage you to get as intoxicated as possible. Find that fine line between having fun and going to jail. This is the weekend to do it. Cops will be occupied with other idiots. You can go out and be yourself. It's that kind of weekend.
There's a big parade going on downtown.
Yeah. Well, you know, in some places, they have actually kiboshed the St. Patrick's Day parade because it's just too unmanageable. Yes. What is wrong with you people? You're not supposed to besmirch the good name of the Irish people. We are not all a bunch of drunks. Just most of us. Leave it alone. And if you came from Ireland, you'd drink too. That's all I got to say. Ireland's a beautiful place, but it's up there. It's up there. It's an island. You're on an island. You get island fever. You got to do something. The Irish are the Irish. I'm proud to be of Irish descent. I know you are. I'm proud to be of Irish descent. Thank you very much. Good job. We're not the best looking people. We're not the smartest looking people.
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Chapters
8 chapters
1
What is the Polyoligon Ultra Fest?
0:03–1:32
2
What are St. Patrick's Day traditions?
1:32–7:49
3
Who was St. Patrick and what did he do?
7:49–8:44
4
Is St. Patrick's Day actually an Irish holiday?
8:44–12:03
5
What are the myths surrounding St. Patrick?
12:03–18:41
6
What is the significance of the Riverdance?
18:41–24:00
7
How do modern celebrations of St. Patrick's Day differ?
24:00–28:17
8
What humorous anecdotes do Bryan and Krissy share about St. Patrick's Day?
28:17–1:09:52