Episode #731: Bryan is back from Flora-Bama and he has thoughts! The whole family had a good time from a good ole Orange Beach in Bama. While other costal locations have become too pricey an poncey for most to access, Bryan and his 12-15 kids found their slice of beach heaven....in the armpit of the south. Then, Cochella and steady march to being "The Walmart of Festivals" is reviewed. Finally, Blue Origin's Female Flight has left many with a bad taste. Bryan & Krissy agree. Watch EP #731 on YouTube! Text us or leave us a voicemail: +1 (212) 433-3TCB FOLLOW US: Instagram: @thecommercialbreak Youtube: youtube.com/thecommercialbreak TikTok: @tcbpodcast Website: www.tcbpodcast.com CREDITS: Hosts: Bryan Green & Krissy Hoadley Executive Producer: Bryan Green Producer: Astrid B. Green Voice Over: Rachel McGrath TCBits Written, Voiced and Produced by Bryan Green To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Chapter 1: What is the unique vibe and history of Floribama and Orange Beach?
Best to you, Brian.
Best to you out there in the podcast universe. Thanks for joining us on yet another, another, another episode of the Commercial Break.
The Commercial Break.
The Commercial Break. My new best friends at the Commercial Break wanted to tell you that they fuck ghosts. Tune in to the next Dr. Phil for a ghost fucking episode. Yes. Also, we're going to hog tie some immigrants and throw them over the border on the commercial break. If I'm not Dr. Sheriff Phil, he's going to add sheriff to his name.
How do you know me?
That's what he said to that guy. How do you know me?
You're on TV.
Yeah, you're on TV.
In Mexico.
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Chapter 2: Why is Orange Beach considered a good family vacation spot?
Families go every year and it's a whole thing. And they have these private beaches.
I told you this. Yeah. Florida allows for private beaches, private beach access in some places. And so last year we went on vacation to Panama City, to Margaritaville, which is not private access beach. Yeah. I'll share that. It's not even on the beach. You have to walk across the street. But we went down A1A to go have lunch. And we thought, okay, let's bring the stuff. We'll have lunch.
We'll go to the beach. Because we had been to this place before. And I'm not going to name it by name. But if you know A1A, then you know which beach I'm talking about. You know which community I'm talking about.
It starts with an R.
Yes, there you go. And we went to go get beach access. And fuck, if I'm not kidding, the goddamn gate was locked. The gate was locked. It was locked. And people were pressing in a code and going in. And these people were not interested in letting you in. Do you know what I'm saying? They were like real dicks about it. They were hiding the code.
And so meanwhile, some dude just kind of like kicked the door open and I ran and held the door open. Like a total redneck. Meanwhile, somebody is in their fancy $17 million beach house watching me do this. And I'm like, hey, just waiting for the family.
Well, you had the kids at least.
I had the kids. Yeah, I had the kids. So, you know, that to me, I don't – even if I had the money to stay at one of those places – I don't feel the need to keep everybody else out. Great to meet. Anywho, Floribama, the bar. If you've ever watched the show Floribama Shores, then you will know. Yes. Oh, what a great. That is a tribute to redneck.
It is.
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Chapter 3: How does the cost and development of Florida beaches compare to Orange Beach?
It's five townhouses. They rented one of them for a month.
Did he do, like, Airbnb?
Yeah, I think they did it through one of those, VBRO or something like that. But they found somebody... It's pricey, but it wasn't so pricey. I thought it was actually a pretty decent price for being right on the beach. Like, open up the back door, walk down off your patio, and you're on the beach. And the beaches are huge there. They're like a football field deep.
So they're beautiful, white sand, the kind of white sand that's like salt. I mean, it's so tiny. Oh, just lovely. And it was really nice. The townhouse was appropriate enough. It was, you know, done up and all that, you know, leave your sandals here, you know, all that bullshit, sand dollars all over the place. Life's a beach. Life's a beach. Get kicking. Yeah. My coffee's a margarita.
All the little things.
All the little schnick schnacks that go around, you know, sand dollars everywhere, a shiplap everywhere, you know, wainscoting everywhere. You know, you know how it goes. Tile floors that have to get where your feet, where you have to get a towel to wipe your feet before you get in bed because everything has sand on it. But we go down there.
And one thing I noticed about Orange Beach is that Orange Beach is extraordinarily new. Now, here's the word on the street about Orange Beach. And I know this for a fact, because when I worked in commercial real estate, when you and I first started this show, I got a call from another what they call merchant banker, which is like a broker of capital for big commercial projects.
And he called me in on a deal, and then he had me drive down one night so that the next day we could meet a guy who was doing a deal in Gulf Shores, which is a little further away from the Floribama line. Orange Beach, think about moving west. Floribama, Perdido Key in Florida. This is Gulf Shores, Alabama. Alabama.
Perdido Key, Florida, moves into Floribama, moves into Orange Beach, then moves into Gulf Shores. So all right on this one strip, this 20 mile, 25 mile long strip. So I go down there. And when I went down there right at the beginning of the pandemic, everyone's scared, wearing masks, you know, not coughing on each other, all that bullshit.
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Chapter 4: What is the dining and nightlife experience like at Floribama and nearby beach towns?
Yeah, we were running up against it for the last, you know, since early Christmas, we've been running up against it. But Astrid and I looked at each other at the end of the trip or while we were having dinner and we said, this could be a place where we run together.
I like it.
My go-to has always been one of three places. Charleston? Amelia Island or Naples, Florida. But here is the problem with all three of those places now. It's far. It's far.
Especially Naples.
It's expensive. And it's getting more expensive every time we go. And Amelia Island, the sleepy little town that everybody falls in love with. You may say to yourself, the fuck is Amelia Island? It's nothing. That's what it is. It's where the first Ritz-Carlton ever in the United States of America opened. The Ritz-Carlton.
It's got the Spanish Mall. And just the beautiful, slow vibe.
Slow vibe. But it has been extraordinarily crowded and extraordinarily expensive the last couple times we went. We used to have, well, I'm not going to say that. The condo there. Yeah, we've spent a lot of time there. A lot of time.
I stayed down there during the pandemic.
It's beautiful. It's lovely. But the beaches are different because you're on the Atlantic side. So the water is colder. It's rougher. And all of the water, mainly up and down the East Coast, is brackish, unless you get all the way down to Miami, go past Cape Canaveral. Mm-hmm. The water is brackish. And so it's a different type of water.
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Chapter 5: How does Bryan describe the atmosphere and accessibility of Amelia Island versus Orange Beach?
We saw the pink moon. We saw the pink moon. The first night we got there, we got there really late. The micro moon, which was not micro at all. It was actually very large, at least where we were from our view. We got there the first night. It was late. It was dark. It was way past the kids bedtime. We've been driving all day after we picked one of my kids up from school.
And we got there and we look out, we go on the back deck and there's hundreds of people that are walking up and down the beach with flashlights. And I thought, oh, it must be turtle season. But it's not turtle season. That's why they can actually, because at least in Amelia Island, you cannot actually have a flashlight out on the beach if it's turtle season.
Or I think anytime, really, because you confuse the turtles and they look at the lights. And even the lights on the back of buildings have to be a certain color so they don't think it's the moon. There's a problem with the moon, yeah. But what it was was just a bunch of families out there taking a stroll at night. That's the kind of beach it is, I guess, you know? You're at Floribama.
Yeah, a little night stroll. A little night stroll with, you know, some dibbity-dabs and a drink. Yeah, and a fucking slush puppy or whatever they call them. And...
You could see the stars, so it wasn't so bright in this part of town.
It wasn't the starriest of beaches, but you could certainly see the stars. Also, it was a full moon when we were there, or mostly a full moon and then a full moon. So the moon kind of drowned out some of the stars. I think it was a dark night. I would have been able to see a lot. But we see these people out there with the flashlight. The kids got really excited. Dad, I want to go out there.
That's right. I said, we don't have any flashlights. You're smelling the beach air. You're smelling the beach air.
Oh, yeah. You're so excited as a kid. I just remember being so excited.
100%.
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Chapter 6: What are Bryan and Krissy's thoughts on vacationing with many children?
There you go. Back to TCV. Back to TCV. That's right.
And I have to say, you know, I was excited. I did miss it.
You do. Yeah, I did. Yesterday I was excited. I thought, well, I get to get back with my friend and have a conversation. Listen, it's all, this is not, we're not digging ditches. This isn't the worst thing in the world. And I will say this, many, many, many text messages on that phone when I came back and that really put a smile on my face. Many. Three. No. Okay.
No, a lot of people had been texting us while we were gone. I left the phone. Yeah, I decided to turn it all off. I put it on personal mode. I turned it all off.
Oh, good for you.
And I left the studio phone here. Sometimes we'll take it if we go on vacation so we can respond to people or check messages or whatever. But we left it here and I came back to a lot of messages. It really put a smile on my face.
We'll get back to you next year.
Yeah, we'll get back to you next year. I tried to respond to everybody last night, but if you haven't had a response, it's coming. And we sent out another round of stickers. A lot of people said they got their stickers. Congratulations. Stay tuned. On May 31st, the 12 hours of TCB, which might end up being a baker's dozen.
Stay tuned, kids, because now so many celebrities have gotten excited about this that now they're asking to come on the 12 hours of TCB, which, I don't know, maybe we'll just make it 12 hours of celebrities and we won't even do live shows. I don't know. We'll see.
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Chapter 7: What upcoming events and podcast news does Bryan share?
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Hey, all you cats and kittens out there in the podcast universe. I want to tell you about Rule Breakers with Serea. It's a new podcast from our partners at Odyssey that celebrates the rebels, the risk takers, and the ones who make their own way. It's these people who often change the lives of the people around them and the world at large.
And while in the moment it may be hard to see the forest through the trees, those Rule Breakers often define what it means to be a success. Each week, former wrestling superstar Serea sits down with the boldest voices in sports, entertainment, and beyond to talk about breaking barriers, defying expectations, and rewriting the rules.
They're talking about it all, the fights, the failures, and the moments that changed everything. You can follow and listen to Rule Breakers with Serea on the free Odyssey app or wherever you get your podcasts. And hear, hear to the Rule Breakers for keeping life interesting. Oh, I did want to mention one other thing, Chrissy.
I will... Mike Peska, our friend from the very lovely podcast, The Gist, the longest running daily news podcast out there. Mike has been doing this for a very long time. He's very smart. And he has...
not been so intelligent with his guest choices because tomorrow this is coming out on wednesday thursday i will be on his secondary podcast called not even mad which you can get on the gist feed or they have their own rss feed called not even mad it goes both places i will be on not even mad and here's the premise of the show mike plays mediator to one person who thinks one way and one person who thinks the other way and they yell at each other and then they go but we're not even mad
So we're going to be talking about the state of podcasting and the podcast universe, including some... noted controversy that has popped up around Joe Rogan and some things he said and some guests that he's had and some things that Sam Harris said about those guests that he had and some pushback Joe got about, you know, some stuff. I won't get into it here. It's not here.
But if you want to hear my opinions on that kind of stuff, then check out Not Even Mad. Go to the GIST feed. I'll put a link in the show notes tomorrow to go get that. And yeah, it's exciting. Listen to me outside this universe. Okay. So here's one other thing that I wanted to talk about because I think it's important.
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