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The Commercial Break

Certified Ruffians!

10 May 2024

Transcription

Chapter 1: What is the Certified Ruffians Course about?

0.031 - 4.418 Unknown

A position has become available that I know for a fact you'll be interested in.

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4.458 - 5.66 Krissy Hoadley

That ain't mine.

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5.82 - 20.082 Unknown

Quality control at the local biscuit factory. You're kidding! I know, your dream job. So, shall I give them a ring? Duh, yes. On this episode of The Commercial Break.

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20.905 - 40.571 Bryan Green

I know, I know. I know I sound stupid saying that. Yeah, there was a gun involved. And yeah, you got people pointing guns at each other. And there was a gun involved. But it wasn't that bad. Yeah, it wasn't that bad. I'm trying to apologize for OJ's misbehavior. Here's what I'm saying.

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40.611 - 56.84 Unknown

With his ruffians. Yes, I'm sure if you were those rapscallions out there with those loaded guns. The next episode of The Commercial Break starts now. It's 2.30 in the morning!

56.86 - 75.442 Bryan Green

Oh, yeah, guys, again, welcome back to The Commercial Break. I'm Brian Greene, and this is the poof out of the show. Chris and Joy Hodley, best to you, Chris. Best to you, Brian. Best to you out there in the podcast universe. Thanks for joining us. Another episode. You're welcome. Yeah, I just don't want to talk about anything today. What do you think? I'll just sit here and stare at the camera.

75.983 - 99.112 Bryan Green

We should do a meditation episode of the commercial break. We should. Where we say nothing, but we just play weird music. So you can meditate. We did the ASMR. Kind of. Take. Yeah. Our take. Yeah, that was a little weird. I wasn't in love with that episode. I wasn't in love with the final product of that episode. But that goes for about 469 of the 550 episodes of the commercial break.

99.613 - 114.649 Bryan Green

You know, I was thinking about meditation is because one of our Facebook friends, I say Facebook, I mean, Instagram friends, excuse me, one of our Instagram friends who's not really a friend or barely on Instagram, but they somehow started like their own meditation thing.

115.962 - 139.776 Bryan Green

class that you can buy for ten dollars and ninety nine cents per month where they do guided meditations for you and so and they were giving away a free sample like go to youtube and give you know here the sample you need this daily it's a daily meditation thing and i heard it and i just was so disturbed by it i couldn't imagine meditating to this voice it was like no i

Chapter 2: How do Instagram entrepreneurs navigate their businesses?

409.073 - 419.345 Bryan Green

Two or three classes. I mean, I think almost all of us are guilty of this at some point or another. Not having to wear with all to see it through. But then I just think to myself.

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419.365 - 420.508 Unknown

Buy all the supplies.

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420.528 - 442.246 Bryan Green

Yeah, I know. Me too. I jump in head first. I spent $10,000. I got the skirt, the belly dance skirt, the shoes, the special shoes. I bought the glasses. Hey! You know, this show. I have balls of yarn. This show first started and I thought it was going to be a vodcast, like a video podcast, right? That's how I first intended it.

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442.406 - 464.096 Bryan Green

Way, way, way back when my wife started pushing me to do something besides bother her. And so we recorded them on video, just video. And I didn't even know about podcasting. I knew about it, but I wasn't interested in it. Because it just sounded too hard to me. You know, the video editing sounded much easier. It's a fad. It'll go away. So I swear to God, we bought a camera for $1,000.

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464.457 - 488.754 Bryan Green

We bought a desk that I could sit at for $1,000. I bought Adobe, the whole package, like the Adobe whole package, right? $199 a month or whatever it was. I didn't read the fine print. And still today, I cannot cancel Adobe. I am in a contract with them. I tried to cancel. They wanted me to buy it out. They were like, yeah, no problem. You just have $3,600 left. And I'm like, go fuck yourself.

488.774 - 513.507 Bryan Green

Here. try to charge my credit card go ahead feel free wells fargo's at limit kid um and so but there there are people who actually actually do it yeah they actually go through with it you know i always say to myself which is probably a lazy man's interpretation of the world i always say to myself well i tried it and i didn't like it and there you go now i have to sell all this stuff on ebay

513.487 - 536.898 Bryan Green

But, you know, whatever. But I do know some people, Allison being one of them, that really goes in hardcore. Like, she thinks she's a constant pursuer of knowledge and improvement and life and, you know, things. I love that. New stuff. And she goes out there and she dives in headfirst and she swims the whole lap. You know what I'm saying? She does. I drowned in the deep end.

536.918 - 556.914 Bryan Green

I jump in, I drown in the deep end. I come back up, get a towel. I jump in, I wade in the shallow end. I know. And then I get back out. It's hard. It's hard to be a player. You know what I'm saying? And the older... I mean, the more years I get... I want to refrain from using the word older because I do think it makes us sound old. And we're actually not that old.

556.934 - 578.323 Bryan Green

But the more years I go through, the more I pursue some of these... I'm starting to understand about myself that I got to go the opposite. I got to look at it from differently. Let's look at this. Let's do a little research. Let's decide where is the easy place to jump into the pool. And then we can see if we can swim the whole lap.

Chapter 3: What are the challenges of hobby hopping?

792.538 - 811.043 Bryan Green

Like, how do you just go and just do all the things that you do and keep going? She does so many things. She's got a podcast. I think it's Culture Changers. Mm-hmm. She's doing the Zumba classes or whatever it is. It's not Zumba, actually. I wish I could remember. It's like a dance. Yeah, it's like a dance class. She's teaching that. She's a coach. She's a life instructor.

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811.103 - 830.654 Bryan Green

She's helping women who are struggling in their 30s to kind of get out of the rut, and they have children and stuff like this. She's telling people about parenting. She's doing all these wonderful things and so knowledgeable about it. She actually takes the time to do the research like we don't ever. Yes. And I said, how do you do it? A constant pursuer, a true Renaissance woman.

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830.734 - 843.379 Bryan Green

How do you do it? And she says, I don't know. I just, you know, I get interested in something. I really want to go for it. And I said, I get interested in something and I really want to forget about it the next day. I feel like cocaine has ruined my brain.

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843.359 - 865.741 Bryan Green

Because I feel like my impulsivity around wanting to do new things and capture new things and inform myself about new things feels like one big cocaine bender. Do you know what I'm saying? I'm making promises at night that I want to forget in the morning. That's what's going on. I think cocaine has rewired my brain. To think grand thoughts and follow through on nothing. Yes.

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866.161 - 884.503 Bryan Green

Because if anything describes a good cocaine bender, it's grand plans follow through on nothing. That is cocaine in a nutshell. You feel like you can conquer the world, but the next morning you realize, I'm still the same fucking moron I was before I started doing cocaine. That's just the truth of the matter.

886.306 - 898.462 Bryan Green

What is the one thing that you tried, that you put down, that you think you should start up again? Would start up, could start up. Like meditating, I caught on. All that stuff, I kept with meditating, right?

898.482 - 898.602 Unknown

Yeah.

898.702 - 925.882 Bryan Green

I kept with yoga. I kept with running. What haven't you kept up with that you would like to reintroduce? I don't know. I think I need to introduce something new. Okay. Anal sex? I mean, I'm just saying. That's something you can just throw right in there. Bondage, BDSM. I'd like to get back into rollerblading or skating. I really enjoyed it. It's a great workout. We should do a TCB skate night.

926.002 - 950.932 Bryan Green

We should. Yeah, for the people here in Atlanta. Rent out a roller rink, and it'll probably just be you and I and Astrid rolling around. Jeff probably won't even attend. He'll be like, ah, $20. Gotta save some cash. Sorry, Chrissy. Be like, do I have to go? Yeah, do I have to go? I just spent $10,000 renting out this roller skating rink. He would go there and hang out.

Chapter 4: How does Bryan's rock climbing story unfold?

1141.372 - 1151.466 Bryan Green

All right, let's take a break. We got more. Oh, we got a game today. We're going to play a game today. I'm so excited about this. Let's take a break. Then we'll be back with more shenanigans.

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1153.623 - 1174.72 Krissy Hoadley

Well, thank the baby Jesus. Brian took a breath. And now I will use this opportunity to let you know that we've got a brand new phone number. That's right. It's 212-433-3TCB. And you can text us anytime you want. Or you can call and leave us a voicemail. And we might just use your message on the show. Once Brian gets through all the messages he missed last year, of course.

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1174.7 - 1190.301 Krissy Hoadley

Anyway, you can also find and DM us on Instagram at thecommercialbreak and on TikTok at tcbpodcast. And of course, all of our audio and video is easily found on tcbpodcast.com. Now I'm going to thank G one more time that we have sponsors. So thank G and here they are.

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1190.342 - 1197.692 Bryan Green

All right, tell us more about the game.

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1200.776 - 1200.876

Okay.

1201.548 - 1230.525 Bryan Green

Be funny. Well, it's just a little game that I picked up the other day I thought might be fun for us to play. I love the name of it. It is called Porno or Pacino. Porno or Pacino. I guess that's it. The instructions are in the name. Porno or Pacino. Who said it? The other person reads the quote and you have to guess if it's from a porn or from something Pacino said.

1230.505 - 1260.64 Bryan Green

Do you want me to go first or do you want to go first? I'll go first. Okay, you go first. Okay. Here, wipe your mouth. I mean, this is actually pretty hard. I'm going to say that this is a Pacino quote. Nope, it's from porn. It's from porn? And it gives the name of the porn. Oh, well, then let's see that. It's called Nothing to Hide. Nothing to Hide. Let me Google this real quick.

1260.72 - 1290.171 Bryan Green

Nothing to Hide porn movie. Nothing to Hide, 1981. Oh, yeah, this is highly graphic. God. I'm just looking at pictures from it. Wow. All right. There we go. Okay. Kicked it off in a bang. I am going to fuck with you, and I'm either going to use a porn voice or Pacino's voice. Okay. Are you ready? Yeah. Okay. Here we go. I'm going to cut your cock off with a spoon.

1291.654 - 1301.245 Unknown

That was a weird. I'm going to cut your cock off with a spoon. I'm going to go Pacino. It is a porno.

Chapter 5: What are the highlights of the 'Porno or Pacino' game?

1547.016 - 1570.982 Bryan Green

I thought there was a famous porn star that was in it, but never mind. Okay, here we go. It's called making people feel good. It's called making people feel good. I can see Pacino saying that, but given the way that we're going, I'm going to say Pacino. Pacino. Pacino from which movie? Sea of Love. Sea of Love. Yes. That's what happens when you get to Al Pacino's advanced age.

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1571.022 - 1574.626 Bryan Green

There are so many movies that he was in that you just don't remember any of them.

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1575.515 - 1601.353 Bryan Green

I mean, I can remember Heat. Yeah. And Godfather. The Godfather. Yeah. That's the ones I remember. Scent of a Woman. Okay. Was that Pacino? What's that? Or was that? Scent of a Woman was Pacino because that's when he says, which is my favorite Pacino line ever. Wasn't that, he was like a blind guy? Yes. And he was sniffing women's panties or something? Yeah.

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1603.645 - 1613.166 Unknown

Scent of a woman could be a porn too, actually. Yeah, you don't have to change the name. Just say scent of a woman, part two. Scent of a woman, part screw.

1615.131 - 1640.755 Bryan Green

There is something inherently defective in you. Oof. Uh, porn? This is actually Pacino. Pacino. Okay, I wanted to go Pacino, but my instincts have... I know, it's so hard to tell. This game is actually really hard because these sentences aren't particularly graphic, you know? And so, while a funny premise, I'm not sure executed terribly well.

1640.815 - 1646.922 Bryan Green

But this is from the movie Two for the Money, which is, of course, one of my favorite Pacino movies.

1647.623 - 1648.063

It's...

1648.499 - 1674.471 Bryan Green

Who doesn't love a two for the money? We have a watch party every Thursday. Two for the money. All right, go for it. This town's like a great big pussy just waiting to get fucked. Oh, that's got to be a Pacino quote. It is. Is it? Scarface. Oh, Scarface. There's another one. Okay, so now we got four good Pacino movies. He was in The Irishman too, right? Yes. And The Irishman was really good.

Chapter 6: What insights does the OJ Simpson documentary provide?

1830.172 - 1859.796 Bryan Green

I mean, the makers of the game couldn't even find another movie. They were so thin on porn content, they had to start repeating the same movie. That's a cheap shot. What are they doing? AI transcripts or something? Okay. I don't think these cards were shuffled. I'm going to shuffle them real quick. Okay, you shuffle them. E.D. I have it. Check your panties.

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1860.276 - 1862.32 Bryan Green

I'm just going to go through my sound buttons. What's this?

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1863.362 - 1871.072 Unknown

It's a penis card. That means it's time to get fucked. I don't know why the penis card is in there. This is crazy.

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1871.112 - 1890.118 Bryan Green

There's just a card with a picture of a penis on it. Oh, look at that. Porno. What does that mean? What does it mean when you get a dick card? Porno, and then there's a gun card that says Pacino. Yeah, I definitely did not shuffle these, it looks like. No, imagine the surprise when I would pull out one of those penises. Wow, there's a lot of penis cards in there.

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1890.098 - 1914.621 Bryan Green

How many penis cards are in there? What kind of game is this? Who's this made by? Hasbro? Is this a Milton Bradley game? Let me see here. Who made this? Oh, it doesn't even say who made it. I know, but there's no instructions. Oh, no, here's rules. I guess I missed these. Let me see. I'll review these rules. Rules. Two to four players. Each player is given a porno and a Pacino answering card.

1914.601 - 1939.588 Bryan Green

Shuffle the remaining quotation cards and place them face down. Okay, so these are the... Those are just like to hold up. Oh, okay. It's like when you go to one of those Brazilian steakhouses and you hold up the green or the red flag. You either hold up the dick or the gun. One of the two. How to play. There's two sentences on here. How to play. Choose someone to start on their turn.

1939.609 - 1943.713 Bryan Green

The player takes the top card and reads a quote out loud. Answer it.

1945.364 - 1969.144 Bryan Green

great it's a fantastic game wow okay somebody made money on you selling you this do you realize that right okay okay i think we got to keep the cards face down though oh there you go okay there was just one that flipped over gotcha sometimes i think he's afraid of me that's porno yeah who's what's it from i like to watch i like to is that another one i like to watch porn let me google that

1970.542 - 1980.5 Bryan Green

My wife's going to look at my phone one day and be like, I like to watch porn. He's like talking to the computer. I like to watch porn. Henry!

Chapter 7: How do the hosts feel about roller skating's resurgence?

2175.893 - 2180.08 Bryan Green

Okay. All right. Well, there you go. I don't think we made $12 on this episode.

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0

2180.18 - 2185.369 Bryan Green

So sorry. Can't pay you back. You can't expense that, Chrissy. All right. We'll be back. We'll take a break.

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2187.973 - 2214.632 Krissy Hoadley

I know you're already on your phone. So pull up Instagram and follow us at The Commercial Break. And then follow us on TikTok at TCB Podcast. Done? Perfect. Thank you. Since you're at the ready, why not text us hello at 212-433-3TCB. Or if you've got some drama in your life, a little fun story, or anything really, we're desperate for content. Call and leave us a message at 212-433-3TCV.

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2215.113 - 2224.834 Krissy Hoadley

And don't forget to check out TCVpodcast.com because that's got it all. Speaking of having it all, let's listen to our fabulous sponsors and get back to the commercial break.

2231.665 - 2254.76 Bryan Green

Sorry, I was checking on my pause game on Instagram. My pause game is strong on Instagram. Your pause. Do you know what pause game is? No. Okay, so. Wait, I do have to say, just to continue on the porno or Pacino, it does say on the back, it's pretty funny. It says, battle it out with your friends to discover who is a movie buff and who needs to step away from the tissue. That's pretty funny.

2254.78 - 2257.023 Bryan Green

$12. Charge 20.

2257.484 - 2258.145 Unknown

Why not?

2259.509 - 2278.313 Bryan Green

I think even a movie buff wouldn't know the difference. Those are such generic quotes. They're like random generic quotes. They're not explicit. There's nothing like, you know. I don't know. I get why. When I saw it. This is a fun, easy game to play. Yeah, it's a fun, easy game to play when you're super high on some substance at your house.

Chapter 8: What plans do Bryan and Krissy have for live shows?

2588.15 - 2605.382 Bryan Green

Anybody else had been accused and convicted of that crime on a first offense, which was OJ's first technical offense, right? Besides all that woman beating he did when Nicole was alive. They wouldn't have gone to jail for 33 years. They wouldn't have gotten sentenced to 33 years. They may have done a couple of years, maybe.

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2605.442 - 2625.075 Bryan Green

But he ended up getting out early and then he died of prostate cancer very recently. But I watched that show and it really puts so many things in perspective. You know, I think I was just a young teenager when all of this was going down, the O.J. Simpson, the murders. But everyone was glued to their television because every minute of it was broadcast on television.

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2625.055 - 2641.14 Bryan Green

Before we had a million channels and streaming channels too. Yeah, that's right. You know, when the basic cable had 60 channels and not 600 channels. And the internet really hadn't taken off. Not really. Yeah. I think it was around, but I think not many people are using it. Yeah, that's right. And so to relive all of that.

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2641.12 - 2668.225 Bryan Green

interspersed with this commentary on the way that OJ grew up in the projects in San Francisco and how he was courted by USC and how he just became a part of this very wealthy aristocrat, mainly white society. And he really loved it, right? He was all about it. And he just, that's where he lived. He lived in the upper echelons and he didn't want to come back down. He wanted to be-

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2668.205 - 2689.757 Bryan Green

He was a celebrity, and he constantly needed the attention, and he loved to live the good life. And then things went south after the murders of Nicole and Ron, and how... Well, the good life included lots of cocaine and... Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Drugs and alcohol. Lots of drugs and alcohol. And a lot of incidents... Anger.

2689.777 - 2700.309 Bryan Green

Physically hurting Nicole, some of which were never even technically reported because even the police didn't want to upset OJ in this prestigious neighborhood that he lived in.

2701.251 - 2724.18 Bryan Green

And I say all this to say that it is a very interesting take on race relations in America, the OJ Simpson murder trial in general, but then how the judge in the kidnapping and armed robbery case in Las Vegas really threw the book at him supposedly as payback for being acquitted of the murders. But that's what some people's take on it is, right?

2724.56 - 2743.854 Bryan Green

This includes commentary from the original prosecutors, Marsha Clark, and not Chris Darden. He's not in it, even though he was kind of the lead prosecutor in that. And... A lot of other people who were intimately involved with that case and that situation and when went down on both sides of the table, people who believed he was innocent, people believed that he was guilty.

2744.175 - 2763.047 Bryan Green

And if you have the time to watch it or rewatch it, if you haven't, I highly suggest you do that, Chrissy, because it's a very fascinating look. Yeah, I saw it on Netflix and I thought, ah, I've seen so many different stories about O.J. and so many different things. I think this one has been done better than any of them. Okay. Yeah, including the FX one, American Crime Story.

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