Chapter 1: What is the significance of Willy Green in this episode?
What if we were on an airplane and it started going down and the masks dropped from overhead and it was all just ball gags? What then?
On this episode of The Commercial Break... I don't want to see it. I don't want to hear it. I don't want to look at it. It's got diseases. It carries you.
You've got brothers and motherfuckers. God damn, get it out of the house. And I'm like, Dad, please, don't make me give away Willie.
Willie. Free Willie. Free Willie. Don't free Willie, Dad. Don't free Willie. Please. He's my friend. This house is a mess. I need some friends. The next episode of The Commercial Break starts now.
Yeah, cats and kittens, welcome back to the commercial break. I'm Hambone and this is Hoadley. Best to you, Hoadley.
Best to you, Brian.
And best to you out there in the podcast universe. Episode number 502, I think we're on right now. Hope everybody enjoyed our little Hambone and Hoadley special. Getting a lot of feedback.
Are we?
It's coming.
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Chapter 2: How does Pornhub's age verification impact users?
Even though they were peppering them all over the place, she would throw them away. But I always knew when the Victoria's Secret catalog was in-house and in the garbage, and I don't care if there was dog shit on that. I would clean it off, and I would run it upstairs, and I would hide it under my mattress. Now that I'm a father, I'm like, of course it's under the mattress.
I used to put everything under the mattress. Weed, lighters, cigarettes, porn, small animals. I mean, I did everything. I literally hit a rat under my bed one time for like three months. Yes. Until my dad found out. I went to the... Listen.
What?
I don't know what this has to do with Texas Pornhub, but I'm going to tell you the story anyway. I had... When I was like 15, 16 years old, I started running around with a couple of young ladies that I will never forget. There's a big influence on my life at that time. And these young ladies were hippie to the core. They were like deadhead hippies.
I mean, however deadhead you can be at 15 years old. I think what they really were was interested in the lifestyle, the ethos, all that other stuff.
Yeah, that makes sense.
I don't think they ever went to a dead concert in their life, but I think they were interested in, in the lifestyle. And so they were tape swapping and I kind of fell for one of these girls. And then, so these two specific young ladies that I was hanging out with all the time. So I ended up going to like a fish show or something with them. My first fish show. Right.
And it was like, I was literally no pun intended, a fish out of water. Here I am, Big Doc Martens, stupid hoop fucking jeans, you know, goddamn chain on my belt. I'm walking around and everybody else is the opposite of what I am. I'm like a go to the Jane's Addiction concert kind of guy, not go to the fish show. Uh-huh.
But because I liked these two girls, I wanted to see what the scene was all about. Yeah, of course. And what I saw in that parking lot surprised me and made me happy. Drugs readily available. But I was like so scared of everything that was going on. I was like nervous to be in this environment because I didn't know how to act. I didn't know what to do. I didn't know the verbiage.
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Chapter 3: What humorous experiences does Bryan share about his pet rat?
He probably got.
Or like a hawk.
Or other rats. More experience.
Hey, come over here, little ratty. Come join our little ratty family. What do you think? Oh, excuse me while I gnaw on your back leg. And Willie was probably like, where's Brian? Where's my papa? Where's my daddy? My daddy's coming back for me real soon. Yeah, sure he is, kid. How do you think the rest of us got down here?
Poor Willie.
I hope he did live a wonderful life. Yeah, you can choose to think that.
But listen, they're rats. I have to imagine that he figured it out for at least a week or two, I'd like to think.
Yes, we'll think that.
It's a tough, tough, tough world out there. It's a cruel world. It is a cruel world. I hope he got a job and found a wife and made himself and he got happy. I hope he had a little rat family and everyone survived.
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Chapter 4: What are the implications of mutual masturbation as bro bonding?
They're going to play.
Chapter 5: What challenges does Bryan face with his kids using his phone?
They're going to do the yard. They're going to have dandelions in their hair.
Little flower children. Yes, and you know what they're on? They're on fucking Fandango buying movie tickets.
Yes, well, it does have a use. The iPads and those types of things do have a use, especially, too, if you're trying to get something done.
You're out somewhere.
Yes, you're trying to get anything done. Yeah, they are useful.
We used to, for probably like three months, we used to bring an iPad with us if we went out to a restaurant.
right and not like a nice restaurant you don't take kids to really nice restaurants but you know like the family restaurant and be like okay let's bring the iPad in case this one melts down we just you know pop on a Disney cartoon or whatever you know and it works and it works like a charm I know yeah
it's all of a sudden they're all like they just get that that glazed look in their eye and they just stare at the ipad but we cut that out and so we we really made the choice that like like the decision you have to learn how to be out in public on your own and be act appropriately and so we're going to do that and let me tell you that's a very difficult choice to make because taking children out to a restaurant is no easy feat especially when you have 20 of them it's not easy
And I would love to break out that iPad at times of distress. But now we just take whichever child or whichever children are having a moment. We take them. We exit them from the restaurant or to the restroom and we let them have their moment and then we bring them back.
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